A 30-Year-Old Spoiler & Powdered Holes

If you think I'm touching this one with a ten-foot-pole...

Not. Saying. a WORD.

Let's try something a little less potentially controversial, k? Like some nice, pastel yellow, powdered holes.

Wait.

What?

Marketing Guy #1: "I dunno, is there some way we can make donut holes sound both unappetizing and vaguely pornographic?"

Marketing Guy #2: Oh! And oddly specific!

I don't want to spoil any plot points on a thirty year old movie or anything, guys, but that's a father and daughter on this misspelled divorce cake:

"NOOOooOOOOOooOOO!"

And finally, she asked for a princess carriage.

What she got was a whole lotta 'splainin' to do:

Awk. Waaaard.

Thanks to Crystal R., Jennifer B., Elizabeth A., Anony M., & Casey D. for giving new meaning to the phrase, "My baby's getting married!"

*****

P.S. Speaking of things that are vaguely pornographic... is your life boring? Does your soul yearn for adventure? Are you waiting for the universe to send you a sign?

Then here:

The Yodeling Pickle
Also the universe says "hi."

(Listen, if you can't think of anything family friendly to do with an 8-inch plastic yodeling pickle, then I can't help you.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Dear Santa... It's Complicated

[WARNING: Bad word ahead! Clear out the kids!]

Today is the start of Dear Santa week, so time to get those letters out to St. Nick, minions!

This is when you tell Santa how you didn't murder anyone this year even though you really really wanted to, so you totally deserve that Benedict Cumberbatch body pillow and lifetime subscription to Wicked Whoopies. You know, just as a "for instance."

[side eye]

Of course, personally assessing your own "good" or "bad" behavior beyond non-murder can be a little dicey. I mean, who HASN'T slipped up from time to time

or accidentally said what they were thinking out loud

or sent an in-law a giant horse's.... butt?

Ahh, but not to worry! One baker has done all the work for us this year, perfectly summing up our collective behavior during 2022 in a single, surprisingly eloquent cookie cake:

Yeeeeahhh.

But there were extenuating circumstances, Santa, honest.

Thanks to Mark M., Alyssa P., Jennifer D., & Jodi N. for the capital letter.

*****

P.S. Listen, I know - I KNOW - it's too early to be posting Christmas stuff... but hear me out:

Tree Rex T-Shirt

This is my all-time favorite Christmas tee, and I'm so excited to start wearing it again soon. The graphic is bright and cheery, it's super soft, and only $14! Plus it comes in more colors and cuts for Men and Kids at the link.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: