Un-Bee-Lievable

Bakers, as a self-professed expert in the art of romantic puns, I feel confident in stating the following:

If you draw a bee on your Valentine's cake, then you have to write "Bee Mine."

HAVE TO.

Not this:

Not this:

And definitely not this:

(I'm not sure which is worse: the suspense or the grammar.)

Conversely, if you do write "Bee Mine" on your Valentine's cake, then for Stay Puft's sake, DON'T FORGET THE BEE.

This bee chose NOT to be.

You'll also want to avoid forgetting the bee, misspelling "Be Mine," and generally confusing the heck out of your customers:

Wha....?

Aha, that clears things up. Thanks, John.

Thanks to Julie B., Brittany R., Marin O., Lauren P., & Maria B. for being the best "be mine" bee miners mine eyes have ever bee-held.

*****

P.S. If you just quoted the "Miners not minors!" line from Galaxy Quest, then we should be friends. Also here comes the cutest minor this side of the galaxy:

 Hallmark Baby Yoda Pop-Up Card

 The back reads, "... to say I love you." D'awwww.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

What's Mold Is News Again

MOLD.

The silent killer that lurks in your pastries.

Lurking, like a silent killer... WHO LURKS.

Yeah, like that.

Mold is responsible for untold deaths, dismemberments, and icky gag-fests the world over.

Plus it's gross.

But who is to blame for this malicious fungus of death?

[picture of grim reaper wearing a baker's hat]

We went right to the source, to ask the tough questions and get the exclusive answers that only Wrecks News can provide.

[video of well dressed woman running toward random baker]

"Sir! Can you tell me why your bakery hates America? And children? How many American children have you personally dismembered? Is it true you perform deadly experiments on the state park pigeons? What's up with that, you sicko?

"Hey, come back here!!"

[turning to face camera]

"Well, there you have it, my friends. Bakers hate America. Back to you, Sally!"

Thanks to our wreckporters Chris H., Rane M., Jill H., Amy S., Jessica B., Kate K., & Tami F.. Coming up next: can cake make you skinny?! The new diet sensation sweeping the nation!

*****

P.S. Hey, you know what helps with mold? 

Blue balls!

If they're these ones:

Blueapple Freshness Saver Balls

Just pop one in your crisper drawer and the other in your fruit bowl, and these will absorb the ethylene gas that quickens ripening, so all your fruits and veg stay fresh longer. Seems like witchcraft, I know, but go check the thousands of rave reviews: they really work! Each set lasts 3 months, and you get 2 apples for $13.