"Near-Miss Day" Hits Home

It's Near-Miss Day, minions, and I know *just* how to celebrate:

[singsong] With a UNICOOORN!

[head tilt]

Is... is that a beak?

K, icks-nay on the unicorns.

How 'bout a cute butterfly?

Er...

Elephant cupcakes?

Glass of wine? (Please?)

Arg.

C'mon, bakers, it's not like I'm asking for a star performance...

OH COME ON.

Tell ya what, guys, just slap down a few celebratory balloons, and we'll call it a day.

Oooh, festive.

Nope.

NOPE.

Seriously?

AND THAT'S A DAY.

Thanks to Brandi F., Leigh J., Amy H., Michelle, Kerri T., Daniel B., Hilary E., Claire, Eric P., & Joe V. for the farthest "near" misses of the day.

*****

P.S. Now that I've inflicted all that pain, here's something to make you feel better:

Shiatsu Shoulder Massager

Ever since I bought this shoulder massage 2 years ago everyone who's tried it has turned into a puddle of contented goo, and refused to move 'til it shut off. My Disney puppeteer friends are its biggest fans; people using and wrecking muscles most of us don't even know we have. I keep buying more of these as gifts!

This massager can actually bruise if you're not careful; it's got serious power for even rock-hard knots, and you can use it on your entire back. (I hold it diagonally to get below the shoulder blades, and around my waist for the lower back.) Highly recommend!

Blink 182 And You'll Miss It

Brian J. wanted his baker to make him a Blink 182 cake.

Specifically, this Blink 182 cake:

Yeah.

This is Cake Wrecks.

That's probably not gonna happen.

Instead, this happened:

A picture of a Blink 182 cake... on a cake.

But can we take this farther?

Yes.

YES WE CAN.

How about a picture of a Blink 182 cake... on a cake... on a shirt?

Then a picture of a Blink 182 cake...

on a cake

on a shirt

on Blink 182:

Yeeeah. Now we're cookin'.

But just to bring it back full circle:

A picture of a Blink 182 cake...

on a cake

on a shirt

on Blink 182

ON A CAKE.

My work here is done.

Thanks to Brian J., who's probably wondering if I wrote this just so Jen and I could call this cake a business expense.

Yes.

Yes I did.

(Shhh. It's tax season. LET ME HAVE THIS.)

*****

P.S. Brace yourself for our cheesiest product review yet:

King Arthur Better Cheddar Cheese Powder

So John is a popcorn fanatic, and has spent a lifetime sampling every kind of cheese popcorn he can find. His all-time favorite is from a mall kiosk called Doc Popcorn, where they pop and mix it fresh, but he reports the next best thing is adding this cheese powder to a bag of microwave popcorn. (Also makes a phenomenal cheese sauce, just add butter and milk!)