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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming! The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming!

Field Wreckporter Lydia A. reports that these insidious body-snatchers have abducted a bevy of ballroom dancers, and are currently terrorizing local bakeries' display cases. They carry the heads of their hapless victims and are often accompanied by disgusting black squid-like creatures, which has prompted at least one 8-year-old boy to declare them "way cool". Readers are encouraged to keep an eye out for these monstrous mini-menaces.

And by the by, these perfectly illustrate my #1 problem with doll cakes: synthetic hair in the frosting = me being reintroduced to breakfast the unpleasant way. Yech.

UPDATE: It's official: y'all are feeling the love for mutant eyeball cakes. Who knew? :)

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Reader Comments (139)

These cakes are creepy and demented. Would be absolutely perfect for fans of Silent Hill or the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe musishian

i agree with Alixandra...they're brilliant!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfalnfenix

unlike the shark attack cake, this is grossness I can revel in, probably because of my deeply rooted anti-Barbie leanings.

But is that orange stuff frosting or wool? Looks like the evil decapitator eyeballs met their match in a mass outbreak of tea-cosies.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkitchenrefugee

I think any hair in the frosting is bad.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZelik The Red

Let me explain more... the way I see it is they are alien eye creatures removing their masks. The one huge eye is the real alien monster head and the doll head is the mask to fool us humans... just brilliant.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWoof

Love it!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn Johnson

What in the fish IS that *thing*? How disgusting...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoodleBunz

While I wouldn't want one, they certainly are unique. I'm not in total agreement that it's a wreck; more just odd and unusual.

Oh well, love the site, makes me laugh everyday.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

Eyeball cakes!!
Love it! Too funny.
Ah, what a macabre sense of humour. Much like mine.:o)
Amy B.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These cakes are fabulous! The hair in the icing adds to the glorious grossness! I love these cakes. This is a case of SO WRONG = SO RIGHT.

Of course, I'd never present one to a child. Although now that I think of it, my 7-year old boy would probably laugh his head off if he saw this (no pun intended).

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

I agree about the hair being pretty nasty in the icing but the rest of it is pretty cute! I would bet that the eyeballs are edible. I saw some @ Wal Mart that I almost bought for a pumpkin cake I want to make.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

i'm reminded of the naked baby carrot jockeys in my lack of understanding. i mean, i love halloween as much as the next person (well, probably more than the next person....) but i think i draw the line at eating anything eyeball- related.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQuarter to Three Studios

Those are awesome! I would totally buy those!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFloating Princess

Is it wrong that I actually love these?

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

m k glass said You know, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

Then it a sport.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHavocec

Frankly, I love these. I'd have them at my house on Hallowe'en. In fact, I may have to find out who made them!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

...I kind of want one.

It's creepy and I love it!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimmy

I don't like the hair/icing either but the cakes are kinda cool. And on November 1st you can get one for half price.

Darn, I was in the grocery store and forgot to look in the bakery. There are some weird ones around here.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHavocec

Awwww, that's not wrecky; it's cool. It's Halloween! It's supposed to be gross!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersciencegirl

I looked at these.. trolled a few other sites, came back and looked again. Did some work, and I'm back again.

The more I look, the more I like the beheaded, alien eyeball, anti-Barbie concept that's going on here.

The longer I look, the more inclined I am to do something like this myself for a Halloween party :)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Wow! I LOVE doll cakes, the thought of hair in the frosting never occurred to me till now. Yeah it is kinda gross huh?
But these are totally brilliant!

Psycho eyeball dolls a-go-go!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSydney Hell

Oh lawd.... I jumped when that photo uploaded suddenly on the page.

Original idea, but definitely looked better mentally than for real...

"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just a game... find the eye!"

I found them, and all the other missing eyes. They mutated....


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTornadoBaby

I actually kinda like it. But then again, I have an appreciation for blatantly craptastic things like plaid pants and floral couches.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

If I had to guess I would say these cakes were made by a boy who was the middle child and has some issues with his mother not putting him in dance class.

My brother didn't just pop the heads off my Barbies, he also chewed off their toes and half their feet. (Poor Barbies, couldn't wear pumps any more 'cos they wouldn't stay on. Had to wear their go-go boots instead.) Some chewed-off feet, or any body parts really, would go nicely with these cakes. Just pick a few off the shark cupcake mountain from the other day, and you're good.

If the eyes are really Palmers chocolate though, that's wreckish right there. Palmers is nasty and waxy. IMHO, of course. Though I have not tried their peanut butter eyeballs, I confess.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

I'm with the 8-year-old boy...way cool! in a sick and twisted kinda way :)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz!

Disturbing . . . yet I can't stop looking at it . . . it's like it follows you.


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

Those cakes are fugly, and I want one!! The perfect anti-cake, for Halloween or whatnot.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think these are cool. They are a classic horror movie in cake-form! Much better than cheesy pumpkin cakes or whatever.

As for the synthetic hair... Hey, its plastic right? So not that much different than the doll itself being stuck in the cake. Furthermore, its not like all the hair is going to fall out and stay in the frosting. Chances are when you move away the head, all the hair will pull away with it.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

I agree with Banana. These cakes are pretty cool, and nicely suited for the season.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

EYE WANT ONE! I may haave to re-think my Halloween cake plans this year, and freak out my grocerystore bakers. Again.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Long time reader (and fan), first time commenting . . . these are freaking *fabulous*! What a great idea (notice I restrained myself and didn't say "eye-dea").
Finally, something an 8-year-old boy and a 38-year old woman can agree on. It probably helps that I work in a biology lab where we *study* eyes, but I would *so* bring one of these to a holiday get-together . . .

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdameruth

WANT! Now if they could just make some where the doll parts are candy instead of plastic,and the heads got nicely done frosting instead of that frizzy mess.I love the eyeballs.But I'v alwasy been a fan of Halloween.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter84

Honestly, my biggest beef with this cake - and these types of cake that try to be so cutesy - is.....where's the beef? I like pretty and creative cakes as much as the next person, but I also like cake. And, while Eyeball Barbie might make a nice Halloween centerpiece, it would hardly feed a small crowd at the presumed Halloween party. Too much cute, not enough carbs, says me.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Wow, I love those, so original! I dont know if someone already said it, no time to read 80+ comments, but those eyeballs are foil wrapped candy. I ate a bag of them last week.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDarth Rob

just curious, is that a cake on the floor in the background?

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbusdriverbob

When my son was 9 or so, he would have killed for one of these! Love it! After I landed back in my chair after elevating about a foot and shrieking so loud I scared the dogs, of course.

I think I still have one of my son's old mutant eyeballs kicking around here. Hmm, Halloween isn't far son may be 2,000 miles away, but my husband lives right here. :)

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love it.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUtok

Seriously, as a mommy of 2 girlie girls, EYE LOVE THIS CAKE. I'm do recreating (stealing) the idea and making one with a popcorn ball (recipe at halfassed kitchen) and a fondant eye ball. Excellent EYE-dea for the Halloween carnival.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersarah

OMG ! Straight outta a 50s sci fi !! Be still my heart! :-)

I'm ROTFLMAO !!!!!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

At first glance, I thought, "Dead baby birds - dear god!"

On second view, as halloween cakes go, the "pull mask off to reveal eye-ball-headed alien" concept is kinda cool.

Still, the "Dead baby birds - dear god!" reaction would keep me from being able to indulge.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Seriously, is there cake underneath all that crap?!

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterasillylittlegirl

I could have done without the head. The eyeball alone is statement enough.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLicketysplit

OK well it being Halloween and all those are kind of really awesome. I have a thing for eyeballs, though.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

These are actually better than the doll cakes with the heads left on. Have you ever seen those cake doll heads???? Those things can give you real nightmares.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJJ

Pretty clever actually! Perfect for a Halloween party! Creepy but not too disgusting.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I agree with all: cute, but PLEASE!, no hair and no horrible plastic smell near my food. If I received this I'd probably disappoint the giver, because I can't eat stuff that has a weird smell or possibly has foreign objects in it--I won't even try because I've experienced the results too many times already (finding pieces of plastic, onion skins or extraordinarily woody vegetables in something as I was eating it). No way I'm going to tempt fate ever again.

If there was a sugar/fondant/marzipan alternative for the body/head, and there was no hair, or it was spun sugar ...

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIDBUG

I think we are forgetting that no matter what the holiday, people are supposed to be able to eat the cake. this cake does not make me want to eat it. it makes me not want to eat at all.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

That is TOO CREEPY. Fortunately this is the right season for it, being Halloweeny and all.


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfug estate

I have to say, as a Texan, thank you for correct usage of an apostrophe in the word "y'all" - not that I expect anything less than perfect punctuation from you! I've got to get me one of them eyeball-head ladies.

October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSquidley

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