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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul312008

Ow.

I'm pretty sure I just burst a blood vessel in my right eye, looking at this.

[squinting] From what I can see, this appears to be a pimp-mobile on a suicide run through a radioactive river of blood - only it's a radioactive river of blood with jaunty blue outlining.

I love the extra cupcake stuck on the side, too: what's that supposed to be? A pit stop?

If you want to give yourself a migraine, try reading what it says in front of the car. Don't see any writing? Look closer. No, closer. Let's see...I think it says...

Dang it!

There went the other eye.

Jen E., I think you owe me a bottle of Visine.

« Cake Wreckin' Under-Achievers, Unite! | Main | Drew's Birthday Wish »

Reader Comments (115)

The cupcake cakes have to stop! They just do!!!

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

OMG! Are those flames shooting out the back of the pimpmobile or is about to run over some sheafs of wheat? I'm afraid I'm having issues determining the front from the back of the P-M :-)

Whoa. That is one LOUD BIRTHDAY.... cake wreck!

Always hilarious! I'm still laughing!

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

I'm heading to a wedding in a few weeks that will feature a cupcake-wedding-cake (that is to say, a wedding cake made of cupcakes) that are all Nightmare Before Christmas and Star Wars themed. Will I be taking pictures? Oh yes, I think so...

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Isn't that car facing backwards?

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Is the black thing in the creepy-eye-thing supposed to be a tire?

Is the base supposed to be old school Hot Wheels logo-ish? Or is it some freaky squid?

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*Michelle

Wow.

It says:

"Happy
Birthday
MAX!"

What is the black thing in the middle of the loop?

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermr-ocho

I knew immediately it was a hot wheels cake, but I too can't even look long enough to read the writing!! Blah, and so messy... whats with the moldy green cupcakes underneath all that mess of frosting?

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

It says "Happy Birthday MAX!".

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBen Ostrowsky

Yeah those flames are coming out the front of the car. That's just not right. They need to have the driver diving out of the car since it's obviously on fire.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndi

I think it says "Happy Birthday Max!"

But I have a migraine now, so I can't double check.

Is it just me, or is the car on there backwards? The flames, they seem to be shooting out the *front* of the car, which is never a good thing.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuper Jen

umm maybe its supposed to be a hot wheels race car track thingy... I knew growing up with a brother would come in handy one day!

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrainy5982

technically, how is it even possible to turn icing (or fondant?) that color? I've exhausted much red food coloring and usually only get a dark pink at best. That is like inedible looking.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Gjertsen

I *think* it says "Happy Birthday Max!" in front of the car, only it's upside down...and the car seems to be backwards, so the flames are shooting out the front. 0.o

But lord, that's almost blinding!!

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

I can't read what it says if I try any harder I will go blind.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter{Anissa}

Okay, I could have sworn it said, "Happy Birthday, Urkel," which would make this all even more hilarious.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMom O'Teens

I looked at this and saw bright red french fries. Although I think they are flames.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthat girl down south

Pretty sure that's supposed to be a Speed Racer cake.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

I remember what that car was put into production. The Pimp Mobile is actually a toy from a horrible movie, that is actually not as bad as this cake. Bravo.

The movie?

Batman and Robin.
That is your riddler mobile. That or the cake is just so bad that it caused a horrible association and a misremembering of more horrid things.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poooor max. :(

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergerg

Are those crinkle-cut french fries shooting out of the back of the car? And is that a tire that flew off the car while it was doing the hairpin turn?

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica S.

It actually looks like the flames are shooting out the front of the pimpmobile. Look at the engine placement, flame job on the car, the tailfins and the front grille.

Of course counting the candles, this is a five-year-old's birthday cake. All he's going to remember is the purple car, blowing out the candles and eating a cupcake.

Then again he'll probably freak out behind the wheel in driver's ed, screaming "There's blood everywhere!"

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSean

The extra cubcake is actually the end of the track that previously curved down and under the upper track.

The perspective is a little off, though...

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Just thought I would add that someone bought that cake. I had to make one of those for Wal-mart when they were short handed. But it was a whole cake not cup cakes.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercinderella22383

Ugh, and the orange ooze dripping down the side doesn't make it any better...

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I love love love your site. I happened upon your blog and have read every post since the beginning...:) hehe. my fav is the fireman. hehehe..
meichelle

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeichelle

I don't understand the drooping icing over all the cupcakes. It's melting over the side of the tie dyed cupcakes. Whoever eats this is going to have red teeth for a week with all that food coloring.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSari

I think it would be less painful looking directly into the sun!!!!

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheCourteousChihuahua

OMG, Jessica S, I thought the same thing about those "flames"! Either that or they look like Lion Brand Homespun Yarn... I can't figure out what either crinkle cut fries OR yarn would be doing on a birthday cake though.

This is truly a disaster of epic proportions...

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Staley

Wait. You need Visine?!? That stuff is like supplemental tears. That's the LAST thing I need after the gushing my eyes have done after looking briefly at THAT monstrosity.

I think that has to be the absolute worst "cake" I have ever seen. Seriously, folks. Let's leave this to the professionals. Please.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I just want to know why some of the cupcakes are frosted on the side - like over the paper - and then others are not. Poor Max, this cake is a mess!!

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkasey

OK, That hurt!
Check out this site and look at the bust cake of a bride..
http://cakepicturegallery.com/v/bridal-shower-cakes/Cool+bridal+shower+cake.jpg.html

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

1. the cupcake "cakes" DO have to stop! immediately!

2. lion brand homespun yarn!

3. i agree with all of those who think the fire (or lion brand homespun yarn) is coming out of the front of the car

4. i CAN'T BELIEVE somebody paid for this wreck!!!

5. max, you may only be five (and happy birthday by the way), but you totally got shafted. sorry guy.

July 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterevil cake lady

This is a cake made from a Hot Wheels cake kit. I think I may have made the one for a flat 1/4 sheet cake before. At any rate, it's badly made. The decorator should have kept the frosting to the tops of the cupcakes, and skill is just generally lacking throughout. It's sloppily executed. The car *is* backwards, the blue border should be thicker and smoothly curving, because cupcakes are particularly hard to meld into a visual whole. The black thing in the center, I don;t know what it's called, but it's part of the kit. I think it's some part of the race track, a support for the track that is supposed to be winding around it. You can view a picture of how it should look by googling for "Hot Wheels Spin Out cake". It isn't my favorite cake kit to begin with, but even a very cute kit can result in a crummy cake if the decorator is apathetic.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchamoisee

I just stumbled onto your blog today and it is my new favorite. You are hilarious. Keep them coming!

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjeri

Oh Wow! I came to your blog from another friends blog and me and my husband just looked at everyone of your post and I have genuine tears from laughing so much! I will for sure be "returning". JK the " " are the funniest thing ever!

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPacker Family

Eek, the colors, the shape, the backward car ... I can hardly believe someone really paid for this. Poor clients.
And the message on the front/back of the car look like it was writen with ketchup, ewwww...

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterenoo

Someone's apparently having a Hot Wheels flashback. I'd be willing to bet that toxic icing is going to taste about as good as the plastic track that supposedly inspired this creation.

The backwards car, the sloppy job...just plain BAD!!

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

I can't stand cakes made with cupcakes welded together and this cake demonstrates why!

Your blog is fab and it certainly brings a smile to my face.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Hey, maybe this Cake was made for Mel Gibson, the Original "Mad Max!"
That's why it has the crazy colors! Can't wait to see how they make a "Road Warrior" cake, or how about Icing portraying Tina Turner at the "ThunderDome"? That won't pop a blood vessel, that will cause a stroke!

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter3BG

Oh My. Poor Max. Someone actually PAID for this cake? you mean they actually went to a store, looked at the cake and then handed the sales person money for it? Say it ain't so! BTW, the car is backwards, the black thing is a tire and too much red dye in the frosting makes it taste bitter. Bitter like Max will be in 20 years when he looks back on that cake.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

Poor Max!

It is supposed to look like this...http://publix.com/food/catalog/ImageDetail.do?id=1189&childId=1

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awww - I mean, it's not the best executed hot wheels track I've ever seen, but I totally get what it's supposed to be...

except for why the flames are shooting from the front of the car. Clearly, this car is an agent of evil.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

i love your website!!! just discovered it this week and it's hilarious. hopefully i'll never have a cake end up on here... :-)

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

LOL, this is hysterical.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVel

This blog is too funny!! Love it!!

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManders

I just think it's so awesome that the google ad right next to this post is for Lasik eye surgery.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was professional???!?! Good god.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChaucer's Bitch

I'm seriously shocked that anyone was able to make out the "Happy Birthday Max" on the front. I can't read that at all. If this was an attempt from an unskilled mom trying to make her son's birthday dreams of a Hot Wheels cake come true, I'd think it was a really cute effort. But a professional made this?? Really?? Why? Just why? And I have to agree with others: the flames are definitely shooting out of the front of the car and they might just be crinkle cut french fries.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTara

So wait, you are telling me that a "professional" made this one at Publix (thanks to the link by anon)??

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNic

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