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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Oct312009

Hail, Hailoween!

So my question is this: how heavy does your southern accent have to be that you not only pronounce it "Hailoween", but you also think it's spelled that way?

Go on, say it out loud. It's fun. You know you want to.

Hah! See? Told you it was fun.

And speaking of Wrecked inscriptions...

I'm kind of getting a mixed message here.

And speaking of things that are mixed up...

I think somebody needs an anatomy lesson.

And speaking of anatomy:

These are NOT what you think they are.

Unless you think they're simply flesh-colored versions of a "pumpkin" and a "haystack," that is. Then they are what you think they are. Allegedly.

Kind of like how this is allegedly a pumpkin:

...and NOT a turd exploding on the sun.

Chickpea, Katie H., Sarah C., Bill P., & Rebekah F., that stem really wipes out the competition, doesn't it?

- Related Wreckage: Why You Don't Raid Other People's Refrigerators

« Sunday Sweets: Twilight | Main | Step One: Cut a Hole in the Pumpkin »

Reader Comments (102)

Man, I was hoping that once you were a skeleton you didn't have to worry about doing squats anymore. You, since you wouldn't have a butt. And adding in the press-your-elbows-together-until-your-shoulders-pop-out-of-joint move is just mean.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristie & Doug

How can a baker misspell "Halloween?" Even the lowest level of my non-native English speaking classes can spell it!

And the flesh colored things? Well, I thought the one on the left was a tree and the circle on the right was a look at a tree trunk with all the rings visible. After all, there were leaves falling all over the place . . . that means the tree was cut down, right?

Go figure. The skeleton decorator didn't want his/her item to end up on Cakewrecks for having a bad pelvis. Too bad they didn't know that a missing pelvis was just as bad!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWriteCards

Hailoween sounds, out loud, how I imagine Target Lady from SNL would say it.

If you say it in her accent.....

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

I think the fourth one is actually supposed to be a cornshock rather than a haystack. Either way, hmmm.
And the poor skeleton--sort of an anatomy student's nightmare. (I thought at first the upper arms were supposed to be wings--or a wing-tip collar.)

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Actually, I think that "fleshly colored pumpkin" is actually supposed to be a hay bale.

Allegedly.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Turd exploding on the sun! Hysterical! And I actually think that's a haystack and one of those round hay bales, though I can see how you got pumpkin with the random leaf right where a stem should be.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

DEFINITELY at turd exploding on the sun!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracyCakes

WOW Halloween is like Cake Wrecking gold, isn't it???

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNobody

I made a sad sort of "ohhh" sound when I saw the Happy Birthday cake. That's just not nice.

But, the turd exploding on the sun is hilarious!!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJHill

As a biology student who has studied the skeletal systems endlessly, may I just say the skeleton cake might just be my favorite wreck ever.

Chrissy

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

I can't remember how I came across your blog but I've been reading faithfully since that first time when I started laughing so hard I cried. So I was completely excited to find the new book featured in the new issue of People Magazine under the category of Buzz Book. I think it's pretty exciting, so, congratulations!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

So that fourth cake isn't Orthanc and... uh... The Eye of Sauron?

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZerotime

I thought that was a bug on the pumpkin...the skeleton on the other hand is actually kinda cute.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeAnne

oh! it's supposed to be a stem because I thought it was a mutant turdroach with its legs coming out of its head. and maybe the birthday cake is for a dearly departed, because that's the sort of macabre thing i would do.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermaya

The media is constantly trying to scare us with doomsday scenarios like Killer Bees, bits of space junk crashing to Earth, Zombies. Little do they know that we are actually in danger of world destruction thanks to a giant turn exploding on the sun!!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthepaperbluebird

Yuck, I don't have to say it out loud. Hailoween is embedded in my brain from work yesterday as everyone was leaving to go home. Southern hospitality meets serious mispronunciation!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

That last bright orange cake? I REALLY think that's a giant, blood-swollen tick on it-missing a few legs. Eww.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCorningNY

The skeleton cake has inspired me to break into song: Leg bone connected to the knee bone / Knee bone connected to the thigh bone / Thigh bone connected to the...

Verification word: domstr. A good place to put an unfixable cake wreck.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

LOL, I was already saying it out loud...too funny. You rock!!

Happy HAILOWEEN!!!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjess

The "deadly" birthday one definitely falls under the category of "decorator read the first word on the cake topper and failed to read the second." Oops...

I actually thought the last one looked more like a giant squished bug, but exploding turd works too. :P

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I actually know the perfect person for the Happy Birthday cake. My friend put on her facebook this morning,
"Happy Birthday Dad - RIP= Happy Halloween"

That's a creepy equation.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Hailoween! Yup, it was fun to say it out loud. Thanks for the laughs!

VW: arcleu - These wreckorators need to get arcleu.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

You know... I kind of like the 'Turd Exploding on the Sun' image a little better. Go out with a BANG! or Sad Flat Pumpkin... I would choose the smell of burning crap and happiness over depressing gourd-relative any day. But thats just me...

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate in Italy

tee-hee!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

I must say, there've been quite a few "Do you see what I see?" posts today.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlagFreak

ROFL at "turd exploding on the sun!" XD

And I'm from south Alabama and I've never heard Halloween pronounced like that, not even by my hickest relatives....

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Silly, Hailoween is the night before it hails.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

So you're not from a rural area are you? The flesh colored things? On the left, a traditional hay stack, on the right, the round "thing with rings" is a round bale. Most of the farmers bale hay into very large round or rectangular bales that can only be moved w/ a tractor/forklift. They usually stand around 6 feet high.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I live in the south and have never heard anyone pronounce it that way either. Apparently somebody does, though!

Hail All Hallows Day!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

Well, obviously that skeleton is doing the Funky Chicken.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just wanted to say that the Cake Wrecks Lady is really funny. She writes the funniest comments for these cakes. Sure, the pictures are funny by themselves, but what really makes this blog successful is the spot-on witty stuff she writes under each cake. Just wanted you to know. I really enjoy your blog.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"There's a little black spot on thsun today..."

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlias Undercover

Always enjoy this blog, especially today's gems! But I never comment because I do not understand how to make my Blogger account identity function. The help section doesn't cover this problem, so I appeal to the commenters. Can anyone give me a quick tutorial? Sometimes it works and yet most often it just posts my words as if from anonymous. Maybe it's just the feeling the Hallowe'en spirit? Thanks in advance.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDjinn

It looks like the happy skeleton is doing the Charleston. Love your blog.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzie

...thigh bones connected to the wrist bones, the wrist bones connected to the ankle bones...

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterros

That skeleton is too funny.

Happy Hailloween.;o)

Amy B-H

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Someone else already said it, but I thought the skeleton was doing the Charleston, too. Don't all skeletons do the Charleston? ;)

Thanks for the humor you bring to my day!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Apparently, not everyone learned the Halloween song in elementary school: H-A-Double L-O-W-Double E-N spells Halloween!
Happy Hailoween y'all!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

These are great Halloween wrecks!!! My fiance and I were at Costco (of all places) and decided to walk though the bakery to see if there were any Cake Wrecks. To our surprise, there was!!! It was fantastic! Your site has brought so much joy to so many people. I now find myself looking for failed cakes everywhere I go :)

Danielle

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

Nope a turd and the sunis it!!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNona

Geez, my mind is so far out of whack..I thought the turd exploding in the sun was a turd on a tomato!

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShari

Jen! Congrats on the review of CakeWrecks in this week's People!!! For once, I knew what book they were talking about!!

So happy for you.

wv: estrappy. I am wearing estrappy high heel tonight with my costume.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Hmm. I thought the flesh colored one was a tree and a hay roll, at first glance.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Skeletal legs are definitely messed up. Everyone knows the greater trochanter is on the lateral edge of the humerus, rather than the medial.

wv: cobsesed. What happens when people fixate on corn.

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

I think that last one is the turdiest looking one yet.

Do you think the winged creatures on the birthday/RIP cake are birds or bats?

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

You know, I thought that last one was a turd exploding on the sun too, but then I saw the sprinkles, and it was clear to me that it was a pumpkin. Really a crucial element for any pumpkin cake.

--kate

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am originally from a rural area, but we never saw a reason to celebrate hay on a cake. Is the Halloween connection supposed to be in the flesh color of the hay? Is it a scene from one of those "Children of the Corn" movies?

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm from North Carolina, and I know many people who pronounce "Carolina" "Care -uh-LAH-nuh", but Halloween would probably be "Hal-uh- WANE" not hailoween. To me it sounds like it should be pronounced with aspirated H's. HHHappy HHHailoween. =P I also agree with the person who thinks the flesh colored round thing is a hay bail. Although I honestly must say, I stared at that for about 2 straight minutes just trying to figure out what the heck it could be. I thought the tall one might be a misshapen tree... but upon review, I think it's some wheat stalks tied together..... Keep up the awesome work. =)

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSally

Ahaa... I actually *did* think it was a haystack. Though I didn't think the other thing was a pumpkin, I thought it was one of those rolled-up hay things. Maybe I'm naive and sheltered? :-P

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

How is it that you do not get incredibly irritated by people who point out the obvious and entirely miss your humor?

October 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

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