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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun242011

Swing and a Miss

NOTE: Today's post may not be appropriate for young children who understand double entendres.

Look, I'm not going to say I'm proud of what I first saw when I looked at this cake, butt...

Ok, I'm a little proud.

Also, dad's ball seems a little low.

Speaking of which, go ahead: tell me this placement wasn't intentional:

And maybe I'm out in left field here, but don't you usually tend to see this kind of thing around third base?

Still, at least that baker has actually seen a baseball bat before. This one seems to have confused it with some kind of joystick:

And in related news, something something "some kind of joystick."

See? These jokes practically write themselves.

Ah. I see the force is strong with this one:

Show off.

Also, is that a Chef's hat, or a pile of poo? 'Cuz I can't make heads or tails of it.

And finally, men, do you experience a burning sensation when you go?

...to bat, I mean? Go to bat?

Thanks to Adria P., Amy U., Stephanie D., A. R., Denise H., and V.D. for that last joke.

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Reader Comments (71)

That last cake... the last one...Oh, Oh, Oh.... I have to wash my eyes.
Oh noooo.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Really, I still can't get the image out of my head. I can't close my eyes! Singing "It's a Small World" doesn't help with visions. Help me.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

That last one... my eyes are still burning.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

WHY IS IT SO SHIN???
And those candles sticking out of it.
WHY, why???

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Swing and a Mister, if you please.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

Shiny. I meant to say, "why is it so shiny." See how upset I am.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

This post took a lot of balls.

While I can come up with no explanation for most of these masterpieces, I think the chef's hat/pile of poo is actually the Hamburger Helper "Helping Hand" mascot's evil twin. (You can tell by the parsley garnish.)

Also, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW what kind of butterfly the caterpillar in the last cake turns into.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

LOL! On The Force cake, I guess you can tell which side is north by the moss growing on "the log". Either that, or someone needs a shot of penicillin!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

"And VD for that last joke."
BEST line of the post lol, which is an accomplishment, since the whole post was funny.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*Blink*

*Stare*

*Blink Blink*

*Rubs eyes*

Pass the Eye Wash, SuBee!! I'm about to go to bed and I'm pregnant. I do not need the dreams that may follow the viewing of today's... Ahem... Bats. And don't worry. When cake is this awkward, it can totally be Shin... On that note, I have got to make someone a cake like these, just to see them squirm.

Hahaha this blog makes my day.
WV: Kedia (And once again, WV defeats me. Somebody toss me a line here!)

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRocka

Dan probably would have been happier if they'd turned his cake the other way around. You know, so the "bat" was pointing up.

"joystick." I snorted.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

@Jenniffer: I was also thinking something along the lines of penicillan, but more in the vein "Do Not Want to play with that particular joystick."

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

@ elissa "in the vein"! penecillin in the vein! LOL so much funny.

That last one looks so...unhealty.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't know when the last time I had a desire to take a dump on a baseball field was. Actually... it's been, since, well... I've never had that particular urge, but if I ever do, I'm pretty sure I won't stick candles in it. WTH? How did anyone think that looked like anything else?

WV: sycombe I don't think I will ever sycombe to the urge to eat poo cake.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

I see that someone
confused "birthday suit" with " - cake,"
needs dicktionary.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Chef's hat?? I thought that was a poo-couch. A very fancy one, too!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! D: And VD??? Really???

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And what are those little pink things all over the final "poo-bat" cake? Are they supposed to be people? Worms? What?

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe English Teacher

National Lewd Cake Day?
I'll add it to the rest. :)
Wonderful post.
mocking

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last cake: VOMITS FRESHLY INGESTED BREAKFAST

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBP

*Standing* *Applauding*
Bravo! Bravo!
Exellent narration today!
Now I have to go acid wash my eyes!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

LOL...you've tickled my double entendre mind....and for a swell (snicker) time, enlarge (snicker) the last cake picture...it really comes into full (snicker) focus....

Keep it up!!! (I mean the funny, funny blog....)

wv - tureact: it is impossible not tureact to these cakes....

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

On the first cake, I see the baseball being in mid-flight, and Dad's going to have one hell of a contusion on his keister!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Presumably-- yes, yes, I know what it means to ass-u-me -- the bakery has food colouring. (unless they actually get large canisters of icing in all the rainbow colours)
Why do these bakers assume that one standard "brown" works for all shades?
I'm going to guess that if I left that last "bat" on the baker's doorstep, his first thought would be neither "who left this icing here?" nor "why would someone leave a baseball bat?".

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Yes, you guys managed to outdo yourselves again. And I thought as a seasoned cake wreaks fan I could be trusted with a cup of coffee whilst viewing. Now my eyes and my monitor need washing.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

ok, putting candles into the poo...will not make the cake any more appetizing.

And what does a baseball have to do with a police billy club...and a moldy blues clues thinking chair??? :P

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Holy Jeebus! I'm gonna go raunchy here...that last cake? It looks like it went in for a home run but came out with a BIG swing and a miss. BIG miss. And the lady (or man, I don't judge) got taken totally by surprise and...and..well..you know what she (or he) did.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDD

WHERE do you FIND this crap??!!

Only a guy (~~and a baseball-obsessed, colorblind, and lobotomised one, at that) could even consider appreciating these abject failures.


Regarding Dan's uh, *endorsement*...if someone got as far as third base with me and then started swinging THAT thing at me, I'd be the one running for home.
"Louisville Slugger," indeed...

=^>.<^=

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That last one is SO BAD. I feel like a little part of my cake-loving soul just died.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

Anyway, the impotent* thing to remember is:

It really is just cake!
Close your eyes, make a wish, pucker up and blow. =^~.-^=

*not a typo

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Jen, I'm so proud you got your sports analogies right!

WV: miankini

I don't think Dan would be able to fit in a miankini ;)

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTornadoAlli

Some kind of joystick, indeed.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBabsiegirl

"Something something... 'some kind of joystick'" I just about spewed when I lol'd!
Also: the commenters are just ON today!! :)

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrantz

what the slimy hell is that last one supposed to be.....Yeah, those were all real bad!!! *eyes burning*

wv: Those wreckoraters LASILY put those awful cakes together....

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo' You!!!

Love them!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVT

How does the bakery not say, "Gee... pretty much looks like a _______. Let's start over."??

Take me out to the ballgame, but please don't poop on the field.....

There aren't enough candles in the world to make that last "bat" look like anything but poo........

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

Laughing... SO funny! This is a good day, Jen. A VERY good day! :)

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

That last cake was painful to see. It made me throw-up a little in my mouth. Agreed with SuBee: "MY EYES!!!"...what were they even trying to do? What IS it??? ugh.

Lol. Great blog today!!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

That last one....WOW. A glistening pile o' poo. One could scrape that off, put it in a brown paper sack and set it on fire on someone's doorstep. Hey! Maybe that's why the candles were stuck in it!

Rachel

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LMAOOOOOO Third Base!!! LMAOOOOOO!!

Thanks for the Friday laughs!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

That last cake. That bat just doesn't need swung, anywhere.

The rest of them are, uh, very sporting. Yeah. Sporting.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Come on, guys. It's difficult to poop out a baseball like that. Let's cut the guy some slack. Better yet, let's BUY him some slacks.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Me: *How do people not notice this kind of thing...*

-Scrolls to last cake-

Me: AAAAAAAAARGH!!!! BRAIN BLEACH!!! BRAIN BLEACH!!!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMs. MM

That last cake looks like a monster from Godzilla - those caterpillar looking baby Mothra things - attacking a little league game. I imagine the candles are the kids... heh.

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeth S

Re Cake #4: OK, am I truly the only one who has been reading this blog long enough to understand that the wreckerator was going for a catcher's mitt in the lower right corner? That's a scary thought. Although I don't know why he or she felt the need to put grass on it... (And it really does look like a moldy Blues Clues thinking chair, giggle, chortle, *snort*)

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I Don't Know...THIRD BASE!

Well I guess he's the world's greatest dad 'cuz he's got a nice butt. O.o
or
It's a sarcasm cake because I don't think the world's greatest dad would moon everyone.

Just put that last cake in a paper bag, light the candles, and leave it on the wreckerator's doorstep.

wv: easit. Easit does it: not according to these cakes!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Apparently I'm not too good with the double entendre. So my reading went like this, *read, look at picture, reread, look at picture* *pause* "AAAACCKKK!"

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie (Kali)

wv: shfort

SHFORT!!!!! -- the exact sound that exploded from my vocal cords at great volume when I saw today's wrechs!

June 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSlartibarfast42

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