My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Fine Feathered Salute

NOTE: Today's post contains material (namely icing) in unintentionally unseemly shapes. There are also some poop jokes. If you are offended by unintentionally unseemly icing shapes or poop jokes, you will not like today's post. In other words: Hide the children!!

That said, everything here is safe for work (as always) and will most likely sail cleanly over the heads of the very young. Still, parents should note that CW has always been, and always will be, a PG-rated site.

Now, on to the unintentionally unseemly icing shapes!

Last week we established pretty much every possible way turkey cakes can be wrecked...except one.

You see, turkey cakes have two inherent flaws. First, they're made out of chocolate icing...

which looks like poo.

This you know.

However, the other problem - which I have avoided mentioning until now - is that they also tend to have long skinny bodies and blobular heads, which can look, well...

a little stiff.

Combine these two unfortunate predilections, and you get:

The turkey poo-wang.
(Nice "legs.")

Here's another:

This guy looks pretty shocked. Think that's because his beak fell off, or because he's so surprisingly out of proportion?*


Me: I'm not sure about "surprisingly out of proportion."

John: Why, what's wrong with it?

Me: Well, it's quite a mouthful.

John: [screeching laughter]

Me: [innocently] What?

Turkey: the other dark meat.

Katey S., Owen H., Paula W., Laura I., & Lola P.,
these Wrecks give new meaning to "giving you the bird," don't they?

- Related Wreckage: Butterfly Misses

« Sunday Sweets: Fall Edition | Main | This Is What Happy Tastes Like »

Reader Comments (118)

okay, that post brought tears of laughter to my face. surprisingly out of proportion indeed. Thanks!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

That's too funny!!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeona

I think the turkey poo-wang cake is adorable! It's so goofy that it has achieved cuteness.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda S.

i would be so embarassed to serve any poo wang turkey cakes at any type of get-together. Especially ones that are out of proportion. Although, the would definately be the talk of the party.

wv: nuges. these cakes are all nuges. they need pants.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercookie_monster

that last poo wang could trim his foliage a bit.

WV: Nother. I didn't think there was a nother way to mess up these cakes, but I was wrong.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

uhh...yep. those are definitely wangs.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermiss. chief

love these cakes! i wonder in the turkey world if size does matter? some of that plumage is mighty big.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterduffylou

Phallic poo - I love it!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnicles

Todd said... "Turkey Poo-Wang" would be an AWESOME name for a band.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, "poo wang"! Too funny!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergatofish

I saw a pretty phallic rendition of the turkey cake on Fail Blog and assumed it was one of your beauties. Do cake decorators honestly not make the connection between the turkey head/neck combo and the "stiffie"?Your words, Jen... your words.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

I am convinced that these wrecks are caused by the designers for a catalogue purposely making phallic designs just to see if the grocery store bakery staff that end up making the thanksgiving cakes will actually do it without a second thought.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeddygon

Yep, gave giving her the bidr a whole new connotation ;)

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKirchy

More evidence supporting my claim that we need a program to teach people what an actual turkey looks like.

... Maybe we also need to teach cake decorators what genitalia look like, so they'll know what not to do on a cake.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

My grandmother has yet to stop laughing. We spent Thanksgiving laying a family member to rest, this is EXACTLY what we needed! Thanks so much Jen. Nothing like confectionary dildos to ease your greiving. :P

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

OMG! I'm still laughing! That last little guy might have some... envy... with the poo wang above him! That must be why his feathers are so big! He has little man syndrome!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTroubleV

Oh, that's rich... it's a poo-wang clan!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

Snickering into my coffee...

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Poo-wang! LOL and "giving the bird," indeed! These cakes are rather inappropriate for family gatherings, n'est-ce pas? #2 (*smirk*) is really crying those tears of blood today. ick!

Poo-wang looks a little relaxed. On a bed of lovely rose petals. How, er, romantic?

#4 looks like what my toddler produced when she was having witholding issues during potty training. After 8 days of self-induced constipation, she produced a whopper that stood straight up on end above the edge of her little potty insert. She called it the "rocketship poopy." If it had eyes and half a beak, it would look like #4!

that poo-wang looks a little like an amputee...

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

No offense, but how ignorant ARE these bakers, anyway?

Isn't there some point when you take a look and realize either:

A) Fix it.

B) Scrap it.

Or C) Take it home and NOT sell it to customers.

Seriously, how do these places stay in business?

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, it should be obvious to everyone: Store bakeries do their share of equal opportunity hiring and hire blind cake decorators. That way they can't actually SEE what it is that they're putting on those cakes. That's the only explanation other than Meddygon's of the bakers just pushing the envelope a tad.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoblue562

Oh my God, the term 'turkey poo wang' is the funniest thing I've haerd since 'coiled crap hound!'

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Although the hilarity of today's cake are not even in question.. I can't believe you didn't see the worm eating...uhhh.... member in one of the "top ten"... I won't tell you which one, mostly because I want to make sure that it's not just my mind in the gutter! keep 'em comin' !

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I must say I never will look at the Holidays the same way ever again.

How could one day bring so much laughter and joy into the world.

Wreck On!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIrisFleuron

oh Jen - so wrong, but yet soooo right! lol

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOne Girl in All The World

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! Toooooo funny!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEstir_BunE

snickering and snorting and peeing my pants.

simultaneously (i'm a multi-tasker).

gawd, this is a funny post.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

My 4-year-old was looking over my shoulder and asked "Ewww, why are you looking a poopy turkeys?" LOL I guess that says it all!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBirgit Kerr

I can't say I ever expected to read the words "turkey", "poo" and "wang" in the same sentence, never mind lumped together as a title!

I should've remembered the coiled crap hound....

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

I've never met John yet can totally imagine that moment of laughter. :)

wv: amaters...Unpaid hobbyists, as in, most amaters I know can still decorate better than wang-poo!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

that was quite a mouthful *ahem*

the first one looks like poo on a bed of hot dogs. which makes it worse somehow.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

I also think the first turkey looks like a flasher holding open his multi-colored rain coat.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You guys are hilarious!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

LOL.... oh boy did I ever need this laugh this morning, thanks!!!!

Especially the part where you started laughing innocently because you didn't get why John was laughing. That's a good one. You're so cute, Jen.

Thanks for all these turkey wrecks this week, they were great!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

I love that the bakery was so proud of turkey poo-wang #1 that they put it on a little stand for better viewing. I too think the little guy looks like a flasher in a raincoat --
awesome commentary Jen!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

What ever happened to a nice decent pumpkin pie??? lol

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommyAmy

Eeeeewww. Cakes are supposed to be appetizing, not nausea-inducing!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

I laughed til i nearly wet myself!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

My throat hurts from laughing so hard. Thanks for that!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElessa

smile smile smile

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah, Tim, and Margaret

Oh. My. God. *dies*

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Thank you for the "hide the children" warning. I appreciate it. :)

WV: intankini: these turkeys could benefit if there were intankinis. :)

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara

Mr Happy Turkey is Really Happy! Standing right up there at attention, he is.

Don't worry about kids. They're not 'offendable' when it comes to poo or penises. Especially boys. In fact, they're the worst offenders. I live in a house of men. I know.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

I wonder how many wrecktastic designers are seriously repressed? These poo-wangs seem to be a recurring theme!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeemack

Oh my! Never read this blog while in a public library! Tears in my eyes and my face is all red. Really made my day.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

turkey poop wang! Ha ha ha ha HA!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames

I actually laughed outloud at the conversation you & John had, too funny. I love this website!

WV: gergi
An orgie with a gobble, gobble twist, you know as in those cake were about to take part in a gergi.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjess




You rock.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeet My Camera

the "turkey poo wang" - wonderful!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh YUCK! I can't believe that bakers don't realize these cakes look so unappetizing. I sometimes wonder if some of these are done by disgruntled decorators. How can they NOT see what we're seeing?!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterXJ

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