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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Nov282009

A Fine Feathered Salute

NOTE: Today's post contains material (namely icing) in unintentionally unseemly shapes. There are also some poop jokes. If you are offended by unintentionally unseemly icing shapes or poop jokes, you will not like today's post. In other words: Hide the children!!

That said, everything here is safe for work (as always) and will most likely sail cleanly over the heads of the very young. Still, parents should note that CW has always been, and always will be, a PG-rated site.


Now, on to the unintentionally unseemly icing shapes!

Last week we established pretty much every possible way turkey cakes can be wrecked...except one.

You see, turkey cakes have two inherent flaws. First, they're made out of chocolate icing...

which looks like poo.

This you know.

However, the other problem - which I have avoided mentioning until now - is that they also tend to have long skinny bodies and blobular heads, which can look, well...

a little stiff.

Combine these two unfortunate predilections, and you get:

The turkey poo-wang.
(Nice "legs.")

Here's another:


This guy looks pretty shocked. Think that's because his beak fell off, or because he's so surprisingly out of proportion?*

*ACTUAL DIALOGUE WHILE WRITING THIS POST:

Me: I'm not sure about "surprisingly out of proportion."

John: Why, what's wrong with it?

Me: Well, it's quite a mouthful.

John: [screeching laughter]

Me: [innocently] What?


Turkey: the other dark meat.


Katey S., Owen H., Paula W., Laura I., & Lola P.,
these Wrecks give new meaning to "giving you the bird," don't they?

- Related Wreckage: Butterfly Misses

« Sunday Sweets: Fall Edition | Main | This Is What Happy Tastes Like »

Reader Comments (118)

Here's what I don't understand. Thanksgiving cakes have given you practically a month's worth of material. However, who eats cake at Thanksgiving? It's all about the pie! Are there that many families that eat Thanksgiving cake that these cakes are so prevalent?

wv: imisti - These cakes had me laughing so hard, imisti in the eyes!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I saw the second turkey cake I instantly thought of a turkey wearing one of those old curly wigs, but in yellow, red and orange instead of white. LOL :P

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

*snort*

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best post ever! XD

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

Hahahahahahahahhahaha...turkey poo-wang..Hahahahhahahahaa. *wipes tears from eyes

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

This post made me even gayer.

SOOOOOOOOO funny! The "turkey poo wang" is priceless, but I'll always have the "coiled crap hound" as number one in my giggle inducers!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPat

That's what she said!!!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

Actually cake 3 was not a bad looking cake - until ...

I agree with the - about 11:30 am - Anonymous post.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkitten keeper

My three year old was looking over my shoulder and liked the last turkey cake. She said "Oh,that's so funny!" and I said "And it looks like a poop, doesn't it?" and she said, in the most delighted voice "Yeah!"

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I've never laughed so hard!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalinda

turkey poo wang. OMG. BAHAHAHAHAHA!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarah

LOL re: turkey poo-wang.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlways a Bridesmaid

"Melissa said:
Oh my God, the term 'turkey poo wang' is the funniest thing I've heard since 'coiled crap hound!'"

You said it, sister! All these cakes need are some poo tornadoes to complete that festive Thanksgiving theme.

It's PIE season, people - if you would stop ordering cakes for Thanksgiving, all this (literal & figurative) crap could be avoided.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergaylechoo

"Turkey poo wang" *snort*!!!!

This post has made my day. LOVE the dialogue finale!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

"Giving you the bird!"
You're SO funny!
I can't believe these are allowed to be sold in public grocery stores...or are we just deviants for seeing them this way?

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

the funny thing is my husband would think nothing is wrong with these turkeys lol

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter...some favorites.

I don't understand the dialogue between you and John.

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

I have not read your blog in a long time. It is great to be back!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

way to funny!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

@Erin
LOL! You never KNOW what they will say next!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

oh this made my day! HEElairous!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJendula

Have you seen the Cake Wrecks (Flip camera) commercial? A guy is using a camera to film a professional cake and says, "This is what it's supposed to look like..." then pans over to a Wrecked version of the cake and the annoyed looking woman who made it.

http://www.doyouflip.com/watch/Cake%20Disaster

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenestria

No wonder these turkeys look happy this time around!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

hahahahaha
THANK YOU. so much.
All the turkey cakes from the past few posts have been hilarious and greatly improved Thanksgiving at my house. :-D
But today's are best of all! Lily

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My mother is visiting from Ohio for the holiday, and I gave her your book (gotten when you all were in Framingham, Mass.) to read. She was laughing so hard she couldn't speak, and she's planning to get a copy of the book for her sister. :-) Then I showed her the blog, complete with phallic turkeys, which set off more gales of laughter!

November 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeb Geisler

If you've ever seen a real turkey, it's not poo-brown anyway. They're white, especially their necks & heads. These wreckerators need to get out more. Maybe visit a farm after their Wilton class. --Samantha

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

eww... where has that wang been?

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I think I gave myself a hernia laughing at the Turkey cakes! I will never look at a Turkey in the same way ever again. I found this site three days ago and have not stopped until I have looked at every sigle wreck! I can't tell If I am having chest pain from a heart attack or if it is from my aching chest from laughing! Thanks a million!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle T.

I'm so jealous!

here in the UK we don't celebrate turkey poo-wang day &so can't buy such wonderful cakes

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first thing that popped (or should that be pooped?!) into my head was 'Oh dear' Can they genuinely not see that their cake is shaped like a penis covered in poo? Dibs on not eating the poo-penis!!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon.T.

I thought Mr Hanky only came out at xmas time?

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was your funniest post ever!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaryBe

Actually, most domestic turkeys are white, which is what we all eat at T'giving. But wild turkeys (we have a flock living about 1/2 mile away) and they have a blue-red head. And I believe that's what people are trying to copy for T'giving, the traditional Pilgrim-wild turkey- look. Except they're not right. And they don't have red, orange and yellow feathers either.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://coquinadaily.com/daily/imagesdaily/071122/503pxmalenorthamericanturkeysupersaturated.jpg&imgrefurl=http://coquinadaily.blogspot.com/2007/11/thursday-november-22-2007.html&usg=__hFmIrq1msgZbXgiG8WPROB8JM3M=&h=480&w=403&sz=38&hl=en&start=4&tbnid=J_br3owPxEmFbM:&tbnh=129&tbnw=108&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddomestic%2Bturkey%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This one reminds me of an afghan my Grandma had at her house!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Thanks for the hysterical laughter today! Not sure what made me laugh harder, your post with witty banter or Melissa's comment.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGourmet Kelly

awesome poo wang clan

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Four words for you now: What. Would. Freud. Say.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdarkshines

My son asked me why there were turkeys that looked like willeys. *sigh*

Husband cracked up.

I, I just thanked my stars that I make normal cakes. :)

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelzie

Ha ha ha - that one lost his pecker! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQtswede

Given the avian nature of this episode, would it be too fowl to call those last items poococks, as opposed to poo-wangs?

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HYSTERICAL!!!! You never cease to make me LOL Jen!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlaire and Chris

That's why they call it the "struttin' turkey cock"

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best. Entry. Ever.

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

Oh dear Lord.

That's about all I can say after looking at these...0_o

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Owww, I think I pulled something from laughing so hard!

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDraftCrossFool

"The other dark meat."

Jen, you bring balance to the (bakery) force! I wish you could see a video montage of all of us snorting and crying with laughter all around the world.

Love,
Melanie in NJ

November 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie Beasley

Well done, Jen! This post will certainly be tough to beat. *smirk*

November 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKylie F.

Also, that last one looks like a yeti attacking a can-can dancer...blech.

November 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKylie F.

I laughed so loud and hard that my mostly deaf grandma heard me from three rooms over and asked my husband if I was choking. One of the funniest wreck sets yet!

November 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen Brook

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