My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Purging the Evil Within

There was a time when I was accused of excessive harping on the evil that is the Cupcake Cake (CCC, for short). So, I piped down (pun intended). However, since more of you newbie Wrecktators are asking me what a CCC is, I believe the time has come for a refresher course. I can't have you lackeys out there fighting Wreckage you don't fully understand, now, can I?

Now gather 'round, and prepare to have your innocence shattered.


Just look at this hulking terror, poised to pounce on common decency and smother it with its blue-smeared putrescence. Back away slowly, now, and no one will get hurt.

Remember ol' Stay-Puft? Well, he's got nothing on Blueberry Sherry here:

She looks ready to stomp her way downtown and gobble up some taxi cabs, doesn't she? I particularly like the concave face, though: it lends a little "Le Neanderthal Chic".

Since most large chain bakeries require their bakers to make CCCs, decorators have learned to cope with these horrors in a variety of ways.

Some have a blinding sense of ambition...

"I will make a football out of cupcakes. I WILL!!!"

Others try to hide their shameful creations any way they can:

"Cupcake Cake? Where? I don't know what you mean; this here is just a simple layer cake. With candles. Yep, no cupcakes here! La Tee Da..."

A few remain in classic stages of denial:

"It is a sheet cake. It IS!
Now hand me that bucket of 'Happy Birthday' picks; I think I missed a spot.

And finally, some decorators have clearly been pushed beyond the bounds of sanity, but at least they're having a ripping-good time:

[maniacal giggling]

Kristi M., Vanessa H., Laura H., Sharon P., Jeremy P., Misty K., & Regina H., I think we need to step up our Anti-CCC efforts. These things are getting worse!

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Reader Comments (128)

I thought the first one was a horde of blue zombies.

The cake done in the shape of a cake with candles is kind of blowing my mind.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterskellington7d

It really is sad. It is a major metaphysical challenge for me to reconcile my love of cupcakes with my hatred for (most) cupcake cakes! I have, however, seen a few nice cupcake cakes on Cupcakes Take the Cake...

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaronae

The only person who should be messing around with cupcakes is Zilly Rosen. Really.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEsme

I actually thought the last one was a pregnant Martian mermaid with measles lying on one of those beach loungers that has chosen an awkward moment to fold itself up.
WV: 'gramina'- you'd need a lot of gramina to eat one of these creations

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

OMG, I totally didn't see the fork in the "watermelon"! I thought it was a reflection on the cover. ROFLOL. That is so, Wow. Just wow.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

Looking at all that frosting has made my teeth hurt. I love cupcakes as much as the next person but they really layered it on.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLita Harrington

Why on earth would any sane person want a cake made out of cupcakes? If you want something already portion-sized and cute then we have cupcakes (fairy cakes in my neck of the woods). A sane person might ask their baker to produce a dozen cupcakes with a single design on each, maybe a letter on each to spell a message or something, then you get something pretty and non-messy and icing doesn't go everywhere because it's been applied to each cake individually, not as a sheet over the cakes which will get on your fingers.

That said I thought the cake-shaped one was quite funny and whimsical. If you must have a CCC then go for something silly and easy to execute.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Really all I can see in the last one is a reclining pregnant strawberry mermaid reclining on a mutated cucumber.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKayla

Wowzers. I have to tell you, until I came to this blog for the first time, I was innocent of the horror that is the CCC.

Having said that, I am glad beyond all reason that today was not my very first encounter with that genre; between Blueberry Sherry and the Amoebic Wormu-melon at the end, I would doubtless have arrived at an emotional state requiring medical intervention (and/or quantities of vodka).

And if our interpretation of the Alleged Football is in any way an insight into our psyche, then it's clear my orientation isn't what I once thought it was. (Although, the inexplicable green bit off to the side frightens me...where does one find inexplicable green bits on the female anatomy? Ones that don't require some sort of treatment?) I must admit, though, that I didn't see the "extra" on first view, so when the green bit was first mentioned in connection with a football, my first thought went to the uber-conservative scratching-post of Bloggovia, Little Green Footballs. Then I went back to look at the picture again, and my mind stubbornly reverted to its first interpretation. (Sorry, Mom; no grandkids for you.)

(WV: arfran. Arfran was a happy-go-lucky child til we got that horrid CCC for her seventh birthday; since then she's just been sitting wide-eyed in the corner, muttering about blueberries.)

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

While ironing my kids' fuse bead creations the other day I was struck by the resemblance to CCCs:

(Not ours, just a pic out of google. My kids are 3 & 5 and their creations look more like what you'd find on cakewrecks.)

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Maybe CCCs are the only cakes allowed in areas where sharp objects are prohibited??

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeodand

How nice, a red and green embryo in the womb cupcake cake.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

is that a placenta?

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

The fifth one looks like somebody draped Laffy Taffy over some cupcakes and stuck it down with happy birthday picks.

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that the CCC virus is spreading - my family and I were in our local grocery store this evening, and lo and behold, a nearly identical watermelon CCC was in the display case. I almost hurt myself laughing so hard!

I love this site Jen and John - keep up the great work!

May 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterxotgarry

I have never seen a cupcake cake before in my life. Bizarre

Is that a football, or did someone photocopy their bum?

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

I agree with you with all my heart that CCC's are evil. And You've even mentioned stomping out the evil that are CCC's but I think that's a double edged sword. If the world was rid of the evil that is CCC then there would be no more posts about CCC's and those happen to be my favorite posts of yours. Plus the wrecks are even better when you see the dumb stuff they try to make out of the CCC's. Anyone with me on this? If the world is rid of wrecks and wreckarators then this site would have no purpose and that makes me sad. So I say keep wrecking, keep making CCC's and hideous duck heart lobster cakes! You give us a good reason to laugh. :D

May 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWestly Christy

I really thought that last one was a fetus having an amnio.

May 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The cake shaped cupcake looks like a steamboat... with the stacks on fire.

May 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCeline

My roommate and I have decided that the last one is meant to be a watermelon that has had a bite taken out of it by a platypus.

June 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

The sad thing about the football cake is that if you just look at the top half, it actually does resemble a football. But they tried...

June 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDevika

Is it just me, or is anyone else getting a serious "Day of the Triffids" vibe from that first one? Creepy...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDendrojoshidae

I am a grocery store decorator, and every time I see these horrible CCCs I have to laugh. Yeah, they always suck, but at least for us they send out a memo showing how to set the cupcakes up and what they're supposed to look I have NO idea how that watermelon was birthed.

June 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sad to say that even the store I work at is guilty of making these abmoninations of cake kind and I took pictures of them on my phone but I can't upload them on here cause I have no USB uplink thingy for it -_-

October 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIrkenBaker

The girl looks like she shoved her coat with a bunch of mice and then ate them. AND THERE STILL ALIVE IN THERE! YOU CAN DO IT, LITTLE MOUSE! JUST A COUPLE MORE DAYS!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I really the first to notice the butterfly on the iris (?) to the right? my oh my. "And it looks so reeeaalll..."

February 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterXhenifer

Is that a tooth pick on the mauled and mutated watermelon?! lol ;) xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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