My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Just Beachy

It's summer, the perfect time of year to head out to the seashore and soak up all the natural wonders the beach has to offer.

You know, like the native wildlife:

The clear blue skies,

The majestic palm trees,

The completely family-friendly blue-lined mushroom thingies,

And of course all the great sea life:

[gasping] "Darn you, Valdez. Darn you to heck."

Hey Sue S., Sharon, Alyska B., Sharon R., & Anony M., you know what's pastier than a Minnesotan in January? A Floridian in July. Yep. Now shut the door and hand me my sweater; you're letting all the cold air out.

- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job

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Reader Comments (120)

The fish looks like it was subjected to the Valdez oil spill! LOL

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNotAlwaysCharming

That fish is totally gross. Who would want to eat that?

~Amy B.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Still not able to process "fish." It no longer looks like a toaster (now that I see the eyes.) Instead it looks like a surprised, wet guinea pig with a mohawk. Another one of those magic eye cakes.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

It looks like they took a real fish, covered it in soy sauce, and threw it on top of a cake. I guess that's what you get when you cross hunter/fishers with wreckorators.

(I was just about to go eat breakfast.... ya, not so much now.)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Well, you did it. You actually made my stomach turn. I've survived horrible baby, toddler, and adult body cakes. Disturbing color schemes. Poo frosting. You warned us, and I never had a problem.

Until today. The fish cak-- The fi--

The fish cake! -urp-

WHERE WAS THE WARNING THIS TIME?!??! I blame you for this mess. Get over here and clean it up!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMikki Black

fish? I mut've missed something. Thought the last one was an oil-soaked Portugese Man-of-War, yah know with the tentacles drooping down and the uneven way it sticks up, looks a lot like it. gotta go back and look for the eye ball. Lily

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For the last one, the "arm" to the far right is its butt crack.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

please tell me that the last CW really was something referencing the Valdez spill. Do you have the story behind it? Please share. I was agog at that one.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

"Gimme back that filet o'fish, gimme that fish."


Leave it to wreckarators to even ruin the imagery of summer. Glad they didn't try any bikinis. (Oh, but I'm sure they're out there...)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

I had to put my face right up against the screen on that last one, muttering to myself "wth is that?"


July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

My hometown was settled by immigrants from Yorkshire, so we had an excellent and authentic "fish n' chip" shop. There was a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II on the wall and four items on the menu: fish, chips, RC cola and fish cakes.

The fish cakes were made of layers of halibut and thinly sliced potatoes, dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Sprinkled with malt vinegar and salted, they were the food of the gods.

And they weren't at all scary to look at neither.

WV: pyrebol
There isn't a pyrebol's chance in hell that I'd eat that fish cake.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrick

Re: the fish cake - at first I thought maybe a whole lotta condensation caused some airbrushing to run in a big, bad way, but the closer I look the more it seems the oil/slime/soy sauce was poured over it...see the dorsal fin :(

Also - I have no idea why said fish is so disgusting. Organ cakes, bodies, dead clowns and vermin didn't bother me as much!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBG

LMAO @ the Valdez reference - priceless!

(Or should I be mad because that's making light of a tragic news event?) ;)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

that last thing just screams CARRIE.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBead Up

Please tell me the last cake came with a (now sadly lost) inscription that read, "So long and thanks for all the fish!"

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

My two year old took one look at the last cake and said, "That's a gross bug, Mama!".

And who eats something like that?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*star.mama*

Regarding the fish cake, I'd bet dollars-to-donuts that someone put it in the fridge, and the condensation as it came back to room temperature made the airbrushing run. This is why we cake-people often tell people NOT to put cakes in the refrigerator!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Flamingos are one of my favorites so I actually really loved the first cake, no matter how strange it is. The fish...eww. Its very shiny and has a big hole mouth...scary.

Lol did the same baker make the flamingo and palm tree wrecks? They both appear to be in the midst of a massive tsunami!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I must be confused. Did someone actually... *order* an oil spill cake? "Hey, did you see that tanker spill? Dude, that was awesome! We gotta celebrate!"

Also - as a pasty Minnesotan who's seen a fair few - even without the oil, that fish would be a little too close to the real thing to make it appetizing as a dessert option. THE EYES, HOW THEY STARE.

And for the record, I'm pasty all twelve months of the year! ;-) Yay for gingers!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

is the fish crying? it's not a bad fish, except for the soy sauce all over it.

i happen to like the first two cakes. that flamingo was rather adorable.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermisha

What the hicka-hicka-HEY?

Okay, the perspective-free flamingo on cake 1 and the hovering vertical sandals on cake 2 both make me inexplicably happy.

But that FISH. Holy mother of Pearl Buck on a flatbed truck, that thing is not merely ugly, it is FUGLY. In fact, if there were an "ugly" variant more potentially-profane than "fugly", this fish would qualify.

And that's supposed to be CAKE? It looks like a refugee from yesterday's Series of Unfortunate Buttcrack.

In an unprecedented event, I am no longer hungry.

(wv: lievi. "I can't be lievi kept my lunch down after seeing that fish."

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

Well, we all now know what Billy Bass has been up to since his popularity waned.

And Time has not been kind to him. Renting himself out as a painted trollop [that's 19th century jargon!] like some naked sushi tray model.

"Take me to the river..."

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermudslicker

The mushroom is a pale I think.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEloni

That last fish is so disgusting! What were they thinking?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Foodie

Mmmmm... Oil spill carp. You don't need any extra fat to fry it.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViktoria

@Costumeholic - You've never heard of a yellow cake? They're great with chocolate frosting.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMilton

That last fish is gross. I can't even imagine what it would be like to see that thing in person and know you were supposed to be impressed with that nasty looking dessert.

WV: befrual "These professional cakes inspire me to befrual and make my own."

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

The bird cake is the first wreck that you've shown that I would actually pay for. It may be wrecky, but it is also pretty cute.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, what was wrong with the cookie? I mean, pre-decorator? Why must we FROST everything these days? It used to be the cookie was the perfect dessert... a go-anywhere, self contained bundle of yumminess... so, add frosting and: Voila! You have yourself diabetes on a platter! *sigh* I miss my plain old traditional cookies....

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterleprintemps

Cake #2:

Parents, please enjoy the nicely done cardboard cutouts as the kindergarten class worked very hard on the stage props. We are experiencing technical difficulties at the moment but will resume projections on the white screen of tropical blue skies in a moment just as soon as we found out who thought it was funny to substitute last night's Hell's Kitchen episode.

Afterwards, we can all enjoy the chocolate syrup covered fish.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

To answer the question of "what flavor of cake is "yellow"?

Why, it's fish, of course, as the last cake clearly shows!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like the palm tree on the 3rd one is about to get hit by a tsunami.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Is that last one an oil-drenched sunfish?

wv: oombro

Sounds like the name of a fish in some other language.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

I like the beach umbrella. It could have been an nice cake if they'd taken more time with it and added...oh, I don't A more gradual meeting of beach and sea... turned the flipflops the other way.

I originally thought the last cake was a manowar jellyfish. While I was wondering why it had so very few tentacles, I saw it had eyes and was actually a fish.

I don't think the oil spill effect was intentional.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Amazing timing on today's post. I live in Florida, and my pasty-white neighbor (lol) had come over and said her husband had left early this morning to go out fishing, and wanted to know if I would like to have fish for dinner when he got back.

Right about the time she asked me this, I got to the fish cake. She was so disturbed and grossed out that she called her hubby and told him not to bring any fish home, she didn't think she could eat any today after seeing that.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHogwashTimes

every once in awhile i just get sad about wrecktastic cakes. like, "aww, they tried their best".

then i feel even worse about myself for commiserating with the wreckerators.

this is one of those times. i need a vacation.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA. Louise

Is it just me or does that cake actually say sunmertime instead of summertime? There don't seem to be enough humps for it to be two m's.

WV: conasts. I conasts the Wreckorator to do it the way I want, but there's no promise she'll follow directions.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Oh man how I love this blog.

Me: *Scrolling through post. Hits last 'cake'*
Brain: Melting toaster?
Me: That doesn't make sense. *Closer inspection. Notes eyes and gaping mouth.*
Brain&Me: Ewwwwwwww! Now I can't unsee it! Cant really be cake!
*closer inspection*
Me: It really is cake...
Brain: And who thought that putting it on a pastel sheet cake was a good idea. Were they trying to soften the visual blow? I think they failed.
Me: That totally looks like lip prints on its side.

WV: yeaso
"Yeaso I went to this party and you should have seen horror that was the cake."

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The flamingo was cute, I though, but normally you don't find them on sandy beaches. More like marshy marshes.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I like the flamingo! He isn't wrecky at all, although he is lying on the ground on that cake, or something.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Another pasty Floridian reporting in to say "I agree."

Those fish cakes look like they're commmemorating red tide. Beach full of dead fish, yummy! I'll take the broken-neck flamingo.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoonfall86

the fish is going to give me nightmares, i swear.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan Gery

I was like "Hey, these are pretty decent wrecks..." until I got to the last one. AUGHHHH!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, my... I can't believe most of us missed the lip-print on the side of the nauseating fish cake.

Although, the pastel blue is supposed to be water, and there is seaweed on the sides, which looks rather nice.

Then they had to ruin it with a wrecky fish.


July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPolly

I think the music our little flamingo is slouching along to is this:
"Miss You," by the Rolling Stones. It just HAS to be--I think it fits perfectly. What do you think?

(And it's just SO funny how "slouching along" fits! LOVE it!)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendinthenewclowns

The fish is making me so SAD!!!
I can't take it.
There he was, just trying to Carpe diem (swimming around all happy); and look at the fate that befell him...(he floundered).
((Why, why, oh, WHY?))
Someone--anyone-- please turn the fish face toward the wall--make that right EYE stop STARING at me!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendinthenewclowns

Okay, is that an actual FISH on the CAKE???!!! I'm going to cry. That is so funny. It's very realistic, if it isn't a real fish, I'll give them that!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCellar Door

This doesn't have to do with this post, but a question about a post I can't find (the one with the cakes shaped like babies). Can I not find it (because I fail at using the back button or something), or did you have to delete the post? (I didn't really see much wrong with it. I can't even find the reason--news story or whatever, for why you put up a disclaimer in the first place.)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~ L. K.

I'll give the third one the benefit of the doubt and say that's actually meant to be a baobab.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteriz

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