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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan012010

The Elephant In The Room

Did you know that "seeing pink elephants" is a euphemism for drunken hallucinations?

By that logic, I guess seeing dead pink elephants is a euphemism for "the hangover to end all hangovers."

Anyone else think those were open graves at first? (Or the first 10 times you looked at it?)


Of course, there are degrees of hangovers, as anyone who's woken up next to a minstrel monkey in Prague can attest. Here I've compiled a handy reference guide to help you decipher what might have happened last night.

If you see this:

Then you may have had one too may shots of "worm-in" tequila.

If you see this:

Then I'd blame the lethal combination of purple people eaters and pork rinds while watching Pinocchio. (Seriously, this is not a good idea.)

If you see this:

Then you must know my friend Chris! Yeah. Next time, skip the green stuff.

And finally, if you see this:

Then I'm afraid what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas. Mazel Tov!


Well, happy New Year, Wreckies! Or failing that, at least have some "Nappy New Yeas"

Yea, yea!

Jessica, Georgia F., Emily H., Candace & Travis, Victoria, James E., & Yvonne W., here's to a sweetly "wreck-less" new year.

- Related Wreckage: Wasted Cakes

« Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes | Main | Please Decorate Responsibly »

Reader Comments (76)

Ok, I'll admit it took me a few looks to see that the first cake was the number 50, but I loved the little beer cans next to those pink elephants. (I right clicked on it and was able to see an enlarged photo of the cake.) Yes, the elephants were blobular, but the beer cans were really good. I bet Woody loved it.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my mom and I both doubled over. Perfect start to 2010!! May the year ahead be a prosperous one!

WV: gourl--the url for this site definitely deserves every bit of encouragement. go url! %)

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is that a 6 instead of an 8 on the clock cake? It sure looks like it...

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm still lost on the first cake. Are they supposed to be beer cans? Phallic symbols? Pools? hehehe.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

Is that orange one supposed to represent elephantitis?

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStudyaid

Gee, second day in a row I read the post before anyone had commented. Yesterday's post left me quite speechless, but today, well, hmm. The open graves got me going, and I had to stare for a while before I realized the cake was a big number. I thought those purple things are kind of cute! But what really tickled me was your friend Chris..... :)
Mainly, I wanted to say Happy New Year and thanks for the daily giggles.

Molly in Seattle

WV roftsm: roll on floor....no, not sure I want to go there after all.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, they're all pretty ghastly, but what on earth- or outer space, which seems more likely- is #4??? It looks like something from the background in the Cantina scene from Star Wars.

wv: teredn - The decorator was really teredn wanted to go to bed.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

It's totally a 6 where the 8 should be... HAHAHA

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura V.

I like cakes that make pause and think: not only are you 50, but keep drinking like that and you've got one foot in the grave.

Looking at this one made me feel like I was in an art class, going over the symbolism in a painting, only the painting was more akin to a really bad paint-by-numbers or one of kittens with big eyes, but still.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that orange one is a mosquito.

The first one looks straight out of "Dumbo."

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

Does your friend "Chris" have some serious cross-gender issues going on? Like Julia Sweeney as "Pat"?

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Last clock cake has a letter g, on the dial? Oh my...
Mocking

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I still see open graves. What are those dark, cavernous rectangle areas supposed to be?

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlibrarylea

I love how the label on #4 just says critter. Even the wreckorator didn't know what it was supposed to be!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I had no idea deformed elephants were part of New Years' celebrations. I'd like to see one in the Rose Parade.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Ok, that oragne cake looked too much like insects crawling on human anatomy (I'm not going to say where!)
UGH!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterS3XinthePantry

Just WTF are most of them supposed to be????
I cannot even start to guess at what was going on in the mind of the person who put that blob of bright pink icing in the corner of the "it's a boy" cake.
What were they thinking?
In point of fact, were they thinking?
You should have a competition to guess what some of these were supposed to be......

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKirri

I think "Nappy New Yeas" is going to be my new favorite saying.

Nappy New Yeas to YOU! :)

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergatofish

"Mazel Tov"?! Jen/ er. John??? I didn't know! Must not have been reading this blog for long enough... :) But I will say this: it's one thing to know Yiddish and Hebrew, but a much different thing to pronounce it (anyone for a sore throat, this morning? Hee hee!) :) Mazel Tov!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Happy 50th Birthday to *Woody* from *Zippers*? Festooned with beer cans and pink elephants? Party on, Dudes!!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

I was looking at the first cake and thinking "Okay if those aren't open graves, then what are they???"

Thanks to the commenter who explained that they were making a big number...I would have never seen that otherwise. ugh!

so glad we drink sparkling apple cider on NYE! leaves us with clear head to make dinner for today. whew!

WV: micalge - miracle on a hangover. ;o)

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

I love that Woody got that pink elephant cake from Zippers.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Butcher's Wife

I think there's no way you're going to see anything like these in the Rose Parade-- I sense a lack of natural ingredients-- and that's just by looking at the icing.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy New Year...I wanted to say that yout blog is the best.. Keep the good work!

Edna De La Cruz

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEdna De la Cruz

Mazel Tov! I love it! You guys make me laugh until I cry! :D

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the first cake is to Woody, from Zippers?????

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersharalyns

I looked at that cake for a good 15 minutes until i realized that it was numbers...
...And I don't think that's what they wanted...

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gadzooks! Purple poo roses with eyes! What is this world coming to?

Nappy New Yeas to all, especially my fellow wreckies!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

I saw a CCC at Walmart yesterday that was supposed to be in the shape of "2010" but instead looked like it said "2%". Unfortunately I didn't have a camera with me. :(

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentereeyore19

OK.... I just had abdominal surgery.... that was just NOT fair! I was laughing till I cried and crying because I was laughing! SO much fun today. I too would not have noticed the first cake was a giant 50, sure looked like graves to me.

Nappy News Yeas to all!

WV: turgioud ~ This was all turgioud to be true!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNanaCat

I think that orange thing is actually a lobster! which... actually, looks pretty good to me :)

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Jen,

This is a cake blog. Not a personal confession page. ;-)

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHMCIV

Because nothing says Happy 50th like pink, passed out elephants...

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Little Red Hen

Wow just wow! Definitely advocates for the "Don't Decorate Under the Influence" campaign! I'm just speechless. I'd also like to know the stories behind those cakes. Were they solely the brainchild of rogue bakers or did inspiration come from the customer?

Oh yeah and what ARE those things on the heffalump cake? I've magic eyed the thing several times and STILL think they're open graves:-P

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

Orange cake thingy number 4 -- I guessed a mosquito also, at first. But I think only butterflies have those twirly things for mouthparts...

Hey wait! That orange head is the "thing" butterflies see when they are drunk! Silly me.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

I just have to say... cake #1 definitely would have been better if they were open graves for an elephant burial. But when I double clicked the image I saw the 5-0. Still hilarious. Also, at least cake #1 can spell, no matter how bizarre the cake.

wv: headvenl That was divine! Almost headvenl in fact!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

pink elephants! like on dumbo.

that scene always creeped me out.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermommymichael

I actually thought the last cake read "Jlappy new yeas".

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentera l'ouest

I have a very clear memory of going with my dad to our local bakery to pick out my birthday cake when I was probably about 10 years old.

I saw a pink elephant cake in the design book and I desperatly wanted it. I could not understand why my dad said absolutely not.

heee.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's a 50?

[stares]

I don't see it.

[stares]

Oh, there it is.

Maybe I would have gotten it faster if I had a few pink elephants of my own.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

I think that Woody's cake turned out exactly the way Zipper wanted. It's a great cake I bet it didn't look like open graves in person. I found the missing 8 on the clock cake, isn't that it where the 2 is suppose to be? Look at the 2 in 12 it is quite different than the 2 in the two spot.
Happy New Year

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBraino

Doesn't that really say FLAPPY New Year? And how DOES a person/animal/thing have a flappy new year, anyway?

And as for the purple poo-dles ... Seeing something like that on New Year's morning might push some folks onto the wagon. (Or send them in search of a drink to erase the memory.....)

A Happy, Healthy New Year, Jen & John, and thanks for all the giggles in 2009.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah in California

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucia Winter

LOL!
Happy New Year!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

thanks for starting 2010 with elephants!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPiper

I want a nappy new year, It's been so long since I've enjoyed a good nap! Can you tell my children to cooperate? Maybe a cake could do it for me!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

That last one almost looks like it says "Jlappy New Yeas"

Almost looks like the baker had the New Years I had, complete with slurring words and drunken texts that make no sense.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

I received your Cake Wrecks book for Christmas and must say you keep me laughing! I love your sense of humor and your wit! Keep up the good work!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I don't know what this says about my sanity, but I saw an open grave in that first cake, too.

Nappy blob blob!

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZocktastic

That horrible orangy red one made me think it was some kind of horrific bug with pinsirs at the end and a giant egg sack attached to it's rear. Oddly enough in a post about elephant cakes it didn't occur to me that it could've been an elephant... but after some deliberately searching for it I discovered the "elephant" head! It's like one of those magic eye things... you just need to look hard.

January 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

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