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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct192010

Regular Wrecks

Okay. I'm sure you all get it by now: Chocolate icing, when squeezed out of a pastry bag, looks like poop. Always. Especially when it's filled with air bubbles. And nuts. And sometimes corn.


Which is why sometimes I have to believe these wreckerators are messing with us.

I mean, c'mon, look at this:

I'm pretty sure I saw that topper in Spencer's gag-gift section.

Or how 'bout this guy?

Me thinks Mr. Hanky's been drinking too much Red Bull.


EXPLANATION FOR OLDER GENERATIONS: See, Mr. Hanky is a cartoon character made of [cartoon] poop. No, really. Yes, I know: kids these days. And Red Bull is an "energy" drink that they claim gives you wings, but they're lying, and someone should tell you that before you go and get your hopes up and order your "Super Jen" outfit with matching sparkle cape and steampunk goggles. For example.


Sometimes they try to confuse us by throwing in random flotsam:

Are those...shovels? Axes? Wait. Is this a pun? Chopping a log? Oh, man, that is a new low, Wreckerators. Really. And for the love of lazy lumberjacks, WHY IS THERE A CHERRY ON TOP? This is NOT a "cherry on top" kind of moment!*

You know what really gets me, though? Over in Japan, where for some reason folks are obsessed with poo, bakeries make cakes that are actually *supposed* to look like #2 - but you know what those cakes look like? THIS:

That is seriously some of the cutest...stuff...I've ever seen.
(Although the flies with bunny heads will be visiting my nightmares tonight.)

But come over here to America, where ostensibly our bakeries do *not* make fecal facsimiles, and we get....this:


God bless America.

With a cherry on top.

(Seriously? Seriously?)


Thanks to Jen C., Kimberly W., Liz G., Kseniya T., & Mollie B., who are all Wreckies of excellent moral fiber.

*Update from john: First of all, yes. We know. Secondly, WE HAVE AN EPCOT!!! Under your desks everyone! This is not a drill!

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Reader Comments (143)

The one with the cherries looks like a fancy poop dessert and the one under it is a cute poop monster LOL

check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

That little poop monster is horrifying--I think I am freaked out by that one the most!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

That log/axe/cherry picture?

I'm going with....Washington's Birthday?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Thanks for explaining who or what Mr. Hanky is. As for Red Bull, I was amazed when they changed the commercials to explain that the drink really doesn't give you wings. Why would they have to explain that? Are people really stupid enough to believe a drink could help you fly? It boggles the mind.

But at least the Red Bull drink gave Mr. Hanky some very pretty wings. Or something did!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbelphebe

For the record, I had no idea why the pooh logs had cherries on them.

And...oh wait! I totally get the title now! "Regular"!

But back to the previous, I even magnified the picture. Had to scroll down to see the 50 posters solve the mystery for me over and over again.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreen

i think the logs with the axes and cherries are maybe "supposed" to be chopped down cherry trees..perhaps for george washington's birthday?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Are you SURE that last one isn't actually supposed to be poo? The little thing stuck in it kinda looks like a dog biscuit to me.

WV: rethum. These cakes looks like they came out of someone's...

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

And, yet, strangely, I have a craving for frosting...yummm....

(I need help)

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

The last cake is wrong on so many levels that I wouldn't know where to begin. I am so glad that I'd already eaten my lunch.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKnit Wit

re: John's Update -

At least you can be thankful that they are not personally attacking you for not knowing what it was unlike the EPCOT fiasco.

I don't see it either. Even with the comments telling me what it is.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Not denying the Japanese obsession with poo, not saying the Japanese would not make a poo cake (in fact I'm pretty sure they would), and not ruling out the possibility of a Japanese poo cake disaster, but judging from the label, the "Japanese" wreckreation in this post is Chinese.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLuxVesperis

I walk dogs as a part-time job, and that last cake looks a lot like what I cleaned up today.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

maybe those were Christmas yule- logs-for-one, like the French Buche de Noel. but like, on a cupcake. with a shovel/ax. and a cherry on top. (and the red and green)

otherwise I can think of no other explanation. unless it was the wreckerators last day and he was messing with the display.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

but since these cakes inspire so much debate (is it a yule log? is it for Washington's birthday?) maybe they should be considered "art"?

I don't know what to think about intestine-cake though...

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, you know those logs are supposed to be for George Washington's Birthday? Because, of course, a cherry and a poo-log with a plastic ax is the PERFECT way to commemorate his being dead for nearly 200 years. Wait, are we supposed to celebrate someone's birthday with cake even after they're dead? Ok. Count me in.

WHAT?! NOT AN EPBOT! Oh me gorsh! Quick! Someone tell me what it is! I *never* scan the comments to read what others say, before me, so someone PLEASE enlighten me....oh...wait....you mean all those other comments about...yeah...uhuh. Ok. Nevermind. :D

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I don't think the Japanese poo cake has bunnies on it. I think those are it's "hands" with a peace sign on one and a rock 'n roll sign on the other? It's party poop!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

That last one had a cherry on top AND a dog bone. Or is it supposed to be a gingerbread cookie? Hard to say.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily A

The Japanese poo cake would ALMOST be cute...but the one eye looks like it's falling off, and I've been watching horror movies all October to prepare for Halloween, so...

*runs, shrieking*

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Good thing my son is in school when I read here. I'd have to explain my mad dash for the loo after a burst of full out guffaw and sploosh of XS energy drink on the computer.

Jen -- awesome on the costume --- PROOF!!! PROOF!!! WE WANT PROOF!!! *indoor voice -please-?*

Poor George. So mal-igned.

Why do Japanese get cute poo, and we get Mr Hanky? (Also very glad that it's been a while since I heard that stupid Christmas song with him in it - I am NOT looping it all day today!!)

Thank you again for helping me with my ongoing decision to avoid sweets, especially chocolate flavored ones. *sigh*

~~Di

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They are hilarious, hope non of my cake sturn out this bad!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterangelscupcakes1

First of all, the swirlies on the ends of the Poop-cot cupcakes are a nice touch.

Secondly, there is an ad in the sidebar for one of those "cartoon yourself" sites, which, unfortunately, features a man who appears to be straining a little too much. How apropos.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

I rarely read the comments unless someonementions an Epcot (Poocot, Canadepcot, etc) moment. About 30 comments or so down you can kind of see the Epcot tide shifting...

...And now back to your regular post.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdessertschick

George cut down a tree with a shovel?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlittle gator

"We have an EPCOT!" Snort.

Unlike other posters, I can actually read the other posts before posting (said with snooty erzatz British accent)...

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

LuxVesperis is correct--I'd guess that cake is probably from Taiwan (which does have a pretty strong Japanese influence, after all). And it's the home of the Modern Toilet Restaurant: http://yeinjee.com/2007/taiwan-modern-toilet-restaurant/

Yup.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLQ

In Japan, the Golden Poo is for good luck. There's a whole product line for it. Here's an article about it. http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/ek20070320wh.html

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTwilightTwins2

I didn't get Washington's birthday with those cupcakes. I did get Lorena Bobbitt's birthday . . . maybe? That's what it looked like to me, anyway.g

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Three things:
1: LOVED the punnage (is that even a word?)
2: I want to see Super Jen's costume!
3: John's update was the cherry on the... OK, lame joke. :P Seriously though, the "WE HAVE AN EPCOT!" cracked me up. :D

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Hmmm, maybe the poo logs with the axes (?) and cherries were for President's weekend. George Washington did chop down the cherry tree.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

@TXpiespies: My husband is a big fan of Japanese (pop) culture and has that tiny lucky golden poo hanging from his cell. No joke. Best $4 I ever spent for a Christmas present.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I think the cupcakes would be ideal in case Congress decides to move either Washington's birthday or Christmas so that they coincide. You know, have all the holidays in the same month, as a money-saving measure. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Yes, I did read the other comments first. By the way, the real name of 'Epcot' is 'Spaceship Earth'. And 'Pave Paradise' is really 'Big Yellow Taxi'. Just thought you'd want to know.

Redundancy rules!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Giggling over Epcot. Had to research that one first.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I think aside from looking like a poop, the last one may have been intended to look like a cappucino (with a cherry on top.. yeah maybe not) or something. It kinda looks like a coffee from above? No?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

heh. Danger boy said duty

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

Wow..

I think #4 has hands making both the peace sign and rock on...There are no words to express how disturbing it is...

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCorri Anne

I sense the "chopping a log" picture could be a poor representation of the historical story (though a myth) of George Washington chopping down a cherry tree in honor of Presidents day?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Oh poo. I should've read some comments before posting since there are other more smart people than me. :P

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Why would anyone celebrate George Washington's Birthday with cupcakes that look like poo? I mean, on George's birthday, wouldn't you be compelled to tell the truth?!? Hopefully, it doesn't taste like it looks. Actually, I'm just sorry I didn't think of it for my office! There's always next year! Go, George!!!!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

My calender for today is blank/fails to note anything special.

As for the logs, how thoughtful. Someone remembered to bring a shovel to scoop up/bury what the dog dropped. Just doing what's best to keep Spaceship Earth tidy.

Mr.Hanky? What? Who? Too many jagerbombs I think.

Smiling, air-scratching kitty and, yes, golden poo -- that's in a local donut/ice cream shop. I go there for the after 3P, half-price, half dozen donuts. and fudge sundaes.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

The Nuts and Corn comment has me cleaning off the monitor. Very spew-worthy.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToni W.

Is that a sponge on the last one?

-Journey

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJourney

Logs with axes and cherries gotta be Washington's Birthday (and I refuse to read all 84 comments so someone has undoubtedly got there before me).
"I cannot tell a lie - it was I who chopped down your cherry tree."

Still and all, those logs are the closest things to poo 'logs' I've ever seen on a cake.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroballen

Is there NOTHING the Japanese can't make cute? They have definitely cornered the market in that area. From Maru to poo, there's nothing the Japanese can't, uh, doo?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMyCatsRule

Ohmygoodness I most definitely laughed out loud (L'd OL, if you will) at John's update!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Is it safe to come out from under my desk yet?

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is waaaAyyyy worse than Epcot!! Epcots shall hereafter be referred to as GW Cherry Logs.

Alex

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@roballen: just reading three of the 84 comments would suffice. Don't be lazy and drive everyone else crazy. The comments can be entertaining. Then y'all have to go and mess it up.

Alex

Wv: rexthrath
Thothe rexthrath some tathsty cakths.

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well that's just some crappy decorating. ;o)

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellie Jensen

Jen, you're brilliant! But (butt?) of course we have all those Wreckerators to thank, too!

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I'm no expert, but I believe the "logs" in question are perhaps cherry trees, from which to celebrate Washington's birthday?
Sue

October 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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