My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Star Wars: The Next Generation

Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!

This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?

Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.

Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.


("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])



Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:

"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."



In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.



RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:




Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.



But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.

Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:



Accio pixie power!!


But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.


Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke:

And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.




Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.


UPDATE from Jen:
Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!

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Reader Comments (232)

Anyone who can combine Peter Pan, Lost, Harry Potter, Ghost Busters, Star Trek, Star Wars, and Spiderman into one story is pure genius!!!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Oh my gods, that was utterly hysterical! I must share this with all my fellow geeks!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura B.

Oh thank you No 1, that was a wonderful start to a busy busy day!

MC from NZ

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the Harry Potter and Princess Bride references juxtaposed with a very accurate description of the Star Wars films.
Well done.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenny


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJilly_bear

I think this might be the greatest post I have ever seen.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate Madalene

Aww, you mentioned Scully and Mulder and got me excited to see an X Files/ Star Wars smash up!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGwen

Life savers and psychic muppets. This is pretty much how I understood Star Wars for the first 20 years.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

So Darth Vader and Tinkerbell have joined forces. No surprises there. I never trusted that little bit... um, little bitty thing.

WV: enstril
Just looked like a good name for a drug for menopause or PMS or something.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I actually started hyperventilating in horror over the cupcake assortment that had Star Wars mixed with Spiderman!!! Oh the horrors!

But the astoundingly brilliant commentary more than made up for the cake travesties!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

Fraktastic post, Number One. I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah Tuggy

Need this reposted with an audio track ... in Valley Girl dialect. That's the way my warped little mind heard it. Like, so awesome.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Okay, now I know for sure I am a geek. I understood every reference. Absolutely hilarious post. Thank you.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

LMAO! That was so freakin' funny, #1. Way to capture everything that Jen holds dear and get it "wrong".

Superb work!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Beautiful! Would have been funny if you'd said "may the fork be with you" or something like that.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

LOVED this post!! The ending is EPIC!! "And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin." GENIUS!!! LOL

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This post is definitely going down in history as one of the CW classics.


Best. Post. Evah!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJana

Best. Cake Wrecks. Post. Ever.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

Best Post Ever!! I was laughing all the way through! Oh man, I lost track of how many references there were!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie (Kali)

LOL, i love all the movie references in this post. i've never seen star wars, but all the movies are on my netflix list. i'll get to the them eventually. i have seen spaceballs, though (in fact, i just bought the dvd)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH I've read since the beginning and this is my most FAVORITE POST EVER!!!! Pure hilarity :D

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBec

Holy Saber Streams, Dark Helmet!!!

Sooo lovin' the cross-overs aplenty, especially Firefly references!

Certifiable geek, yes, I am. All references, noted, I did.

Thanks for the trip/lift!


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

Oh! My daughter would love the Tinkerbell and Vader cake! I might have to get her one on purpose. :)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I had to look up a few references, turns out they were all Battlestar Galactica references, but other that that, I'm pretty proud of my innate geekiness. I absolutely loved this post. I think it's probably my favorite.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I have tears running down my face, from laughing! This may be the funniest post I've ever read in here. Thanks for the very good laugh!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermichira-70

I think I smell BBQ'd dog hair... Aheh...

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

GENIUS. And is it sad that I'm proud that I understood *every single reference*? I'm such a nerd! :D

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNaazju've never seen Star Wars??! least you've seen Firefly :]
awesome post. :D

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the Firefly references!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLivingInSong

I prefer Jen's blogs, sorry #1. Didn't your parents take you to the movies when you were a kid John? Were you raised in the jungles of the Amazon? NEVER seen Star Wars??? OMG!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You are definitely a Cake Warrior, Jen! However as a Star Warrior, you're deliciously hilarious! Or is that deliriously hilarious? Oh, bother......


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

My daughter would ask for the Tink/Vader cake. She's 4, and quirky as they come.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

the pixie cake is as good as the pink cake for the girl that had vader. thats so funny!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HU.LAR.I.US!!!!!!!! Coming from a major Star Wars geek home, I approve. And was proud to say I knew most of your references and laughed out lout! Tink and Darth. Tisk tisk. Those wreckers....

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly's Korner

Well done, Number 1!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela K

Bravo! Loved all the nerdy references!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy's Cooking Adventures


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAthene Numphe

Great post! So fun to see my son's birthday cake (the first one) posted too! Keep up the great work!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandaK

This made me laugh so hard, I was to tears. Thank you.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

That was pretty much the most awesome and positively geeky post I've ever seen!!
And I know you were intentionally messing up all the geek culture references, but one really bugged me. The planet is called Vogsphere, not Vogon. Y'all can't be disrespecting my beloved Douglas Adams.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflarglepuf

Awesome! Amazing! Brilliant! Seriously, this should be made into a movie! So Wrecktacular!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Spider Man? You have got to be kidding! Who would Spider Man with Star Wars?

Tinker Bell and Darth Vadar? Oh WOW!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is my favorite post of yours! I love all the movie references. Great job!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle_K

O...M...G. Been lurking here for a year, but this post did it - I'm coming out! Too funny, finding it difficult to control my shrieks of laughter, which is a little embarassing since I'm at work...

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! Did anyone notice that on this picture the plastic at the bottom looks like a row of penis'? I did.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm guessing you saw the story on about Katie and how you found her mom's blog about it and then blogged about it yourself. Nice going, Jen. :) You helped rescue one more child from being bullied and holding onto the stigma of feeling insecure and unwanted the rest of her life. Wish you could have been around when I was a kid.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

Love the Princess Bride reference - that was the only thing good in that mess of wrecks!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

I especially liked the Vogon and "Accio" references :)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermblonde7

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