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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Apr122010

Don't Toy With Me, Man

It probably started innocently enough.

"Hey, let's add a little stuffed rattle to this design, as a free bonus!'"

"We all know how much babies like cake!"

Now, despite the fact that this design requires no decorating skills whatsoever, it does have the fatal flaw of being a cupcake cake. [hawww ptooiee!] Which means, more often than not, you're going to get something like this instead:

"What the heck is it?"

"Who cares? Look, a free baby rattle!'

So, they nixed the CCCs and started putting the little stuffed toys on mini-cakes:

The vicious Venus Monkey Trapcake snares another victim.

Then they really started to mess with us.

1) Just how big is this cake?

2) Conversely, how tiny is that stuffed lamb?

3) Whichever it is, did the Wreckerator really think that lamb effectively "filled the space?"

4) Why put a baby's stuffed animal on an engagement cake, anyway? It has nothing do to with the design! It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him.
(Ok, that last bit could be wishful thinking on my part.)

Of course, just when you think a little stuffed lamb might be appropriate, like on a baby shower cake, they go and do this:

That is solid icing, y'all. "Suprise!" indeed.

(Yes, I know "suprise" is spelled wrong.)


But getting back to the stuffed animals: like goldfish, these things are growing to fill their containers:

Sensible? Sanitary? Sane?
Good questions, all.

But perhaps the most important question of all is: When future generations look back on the day the "fake fur fiber fad" began, will this be one of Wikipedia's illustrations?

"With its high levels of sugar, fat, and 'colon-cleansing synthetic fiber', the Plush & Flush Diet soon became an overnight sensation in the U.S."

Bill B., Caryn C., Becky, Lisa Z., Kristen F., Allie C., & Emily B., more on point (ballerina pun ftw!), when do they start plopping Xbox 360's on these things, with little icing borders? "That'll be $467.39, please. Oh, and if you want games, then you have to buy the cupcakes separate."

- Related Wreckage: Phony

« Once in a Lifetime Wrecks | Main | Sunday Sweets: Hope Springs Eternal »

Reader Comments (120)

Cuz I love a little stuffed animal fur on my cake AND a little frosting on my stuffed animals! That's 2 levels of gross!

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Mr bear
Oct 2009-April 2010

Our sweet Mr. Bear went to that teddy bear picnic in the sky early Tuesday morning in a tragic bakery accident where he suffocated after falling into a frosted cake. He lead a short life but had recently fell in love and married a loaf of bread he met while working in the bakery. He is survived in death by his wife and two bear claws. Funeral services with be held Thursday morning behind the Wrecky bakery next to the dumpster. Cake to be served after.

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBigMomma

The very first one is missing an ear. ;)

The small 'e' on the end of Rosette's name is properly scaled to the toy, if not to the cake.

Someone suggested that 'rosette' was a cakewreck instruction to place a rosette on the cake. I agree and add that possibly "tom" was an instruction to also place a tomb on the cake, for the little rattle.

Also... in ballet it is "pointe". Obviously you haven't paid thousands of dollars each year to have your child take dance lessons.

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous said...

"... in ballet it is "pointe". Obviously you haven't paid thousands of dollars each year to have your child take dance lessons.
*****
Punny you should be so picky...
Hey, look on the bright side: at least all that spent money is making you a stellar speller!

=^~.-^=

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

If you look -really- closely at the sides of the Rosette&Tom cake, it looks like it is a baby shower cake. I can see the plastic strip they stuck to the sides as part of the decoration. I hate those! They never fit right. And now you have plastic to peel off which will pull off all the icing on the sides, too. Why did the toykit-makers have to come up with this idea?

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFelis

Surprise boy and a grey sheep? $24.99? Sheesh! Were the recipients surprised they'd had a baby or that it was a boy? Either way, the splatted sheep is just weird. Why a sheep? Why? Why? Why?

Pinnywearer

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPinnywearer

Why? Why would you put a stuffed toy in icing?

Gross, not to mention messy. Fur in icing, icing in fur. . .it's all bad.

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristy

"Mom, why does my birthday cake have hair on it?"

*Phhtoooie*

Honestly, who in their right mind thought that a STUFFED ANIMAL was a good topper for a CAKE? It's just more proof that combining two good things does not automatically make them better.

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

1) The "lamb" on the baby shower cake looks more like a teacup poodle. YUMMERS!

2) The bear on that last cake is clearly being sacrificed in a cute, girly Satanic ritual...

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

as always.. highly entertaining. you never cease to please me :-) and I am SOOOO scared to screw up after seeing all your pics! Yikes! LOL

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllysa

The sensible, sanitary, sane bear looks like it has a gun pointed at it!

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I think bear #2 looks like Princess Leia.

Love your site!

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bruce Willis - I'm still laughing!!

April 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra

All except for the first cake, this post is spot on. The first one actually got an "awww" out of me. Every cake can't be a decorator's dream and that one would be passable for me for a kids cake if the occasion weren't too special. Maybe a teacher bringing cupcakes to class or something.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThatDeborahGirl

I use Kuddable Kake bears, they come with a plastic tray to protect the cake and the animal. They are having new animals all the time and they are the perfect size.
Vanessa.

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I really want to free those poor animals - they look trapped under the plastic tops

January 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wouldn't lick the icing off of some dirty stuffed animal's butt for 1,000 dollars!

Olivia

P.S. if somebody did pay me that much I probably would, but my point is... that's disgusting!

January 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awww, I had the first cake for my baby shower :( I really liked it. It had both ears though, and the little rattle was not just placed on the icing! I still have it, my lil mans' first toy.

August 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, I don't mind KISSING synthetic fur (personally, if the REAL Timon were right here, right now, and he liked me back & gave me permission, I'd rather kiss HIS facial cheek, but since he's a cartoon character, I'll just have to kiss my plush toy of him on the cheek instead), but the thought of it getting stuck to my cake & then me eating it is gross. Funny, but gross.

July 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeaghan

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