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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May112010

The Bakers Wrecked 'Em

Note to the squeamish: some of today's cakes are medically gross. I've seen much worse, but still...put the coffee down.

As the child of a former RN, I couldn't let National Nurses Week go by without showing the nurses of the world some love.

And by "love," I mean this:

Uh...
I don't really know what's going on here ("I'm an escalator, not a doctor!"), but it looks serious.

Nurses have to have pretty strong stomachs to do what they do, not to mention a healthy dose of humor. This combination, however, makes for some...shall we say..."interesting" cakes.

Oooh, gutsy.
(At first I typed "gusty." Bwahahahah!)

Now, while Canadian nurses apparently celebrate their degrees with stuff like this:

A giant...water bottle? And a decapitated bear. And bar codes. And...uh...what the heck, Canada?

American nurses prefer their cakes a bit more bottom heavy.

As a Trekker, I really must object to this. Once I finish sniggering.

And yes, it gets worse.

This was was found over on Emily's blog:

It's a thermometer, not a straw.

Oh, and sorry for putting "straw" in your head if it wasn't there already.

Yeah, hindsight being 20/20, that was a bum crack to make. A real wipe-out. A party-pooping crapshoot*. Sorry.


*or crap chute, if you want to get technical.

Seriously, though, nurses, what's with the butts?

FUNNY-BUT-TRUE-STORY: My hubby John is a 250-pound tough guy who faints at needles. Once in college he had to get a shot in the cheek. The southern cheek. Well, the moment he bent over the table was the moment he first discovered that - you guessed it - he faints from needles.

He regained consciousness on the floor, in the lap of the lovely lady nurse who had caught him, with his pants down.


He now tells this story to every nurse we meet.


Next time, maybe we should bring cupcakes to help smooth things over:

"You take the pink pill, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the bloody band aid, and dude, you are nuts."

Audrey A., Shannon S., Matthias, Emily A., Jenny C., Sila Y., & Corey F., that's one way to call dibs on the vanilla cupcakes.

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Reader Comments (154)

LOl Those were funny as heck. Medical humor is always funny to me.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Awesome!! As an RN, I can confidently say I would not only love a cake like that as a nurses' week tribute, but would totally eat any of them without flinching. Nice work!

In regards to the mysterious "boldly go..." cake, it looks to me like the radiation rods they use (hopefully now "used to use") for colon cancer. The rods each have radioactive isotope in them and are placed specifically in and around the tumor. The patient can only lie on a side or belly while they are in place. I saw them used a couple times while I was in nursing school in the late 90's and it certainly left an impression. The poor patients really looked like they had a porcupine coming out if their nether-regions.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for the, um, shall we call it "support" of us nurses. Bless the nurses (like me) who have actually seen things that resemble these cakes.

Alex

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKyle & Alex

...and so he says, "Rectum? Damn near KILLED 'em!"

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercutelilsnot

As a nurse; I would not eat a butt cake especially if it has "poop" on it. That is just gross.

That being said; most nurses are completely comfortable talking about stuff that would be gross to the average non-medical person. But talking about is different than eating it.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlysa

I can't imagine the reaction in the cake shops when these cakes were ordered.... "An anatomically correct intestine cake? That's the third one this week!!"

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo-Anne

maybe i am a sicko.. actually, i proooobably am a sicko.. but.. i dont think think that first 'butt' is.. a butt. .... ew.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermallory

I'm glad to see that someone other than me saw that the lower part of the GI cake looked like another part of the body, but was totally in the wrong place.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaemi

I've never met an anus cake;
I never hope to meet one,
But I can tell you here and now,
I'd rather meet than eat one.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The band-aid cupcakes were genius! I love the idea. I have a cousin who just passed her exams towards becoming an RN, so cupcakes like those would be much-appreciated by her.

check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

holy moly!!!

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHope Chella

Hahahaha. OMG. So gross. Especially the first one. And the Charlotte & Anna one.

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

EEEWWWWW! What is wrong with people?
Is that ass bleeding as well? Who would want to eat that...

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbigbadteddy

As a nurse myself, I can say with pride that this post didn't make me pause once in eating my dinner while reading! Hey, those 12-hour shifts make a girl HUNGRY!

May 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersambrael

I call dibs.. on being the first to run out the door screaming like a banshee if I ever get presented with a cake butt with a straw/thermometer coming out of it. The first cake is creepy enough with the pregnant belly and monitors and stuff but the straw out the butt takes the cake.. literally to the trash dump.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I've had several people tell me I'd make a good nurse. But with cakes like that, no thanks...I'll stick to office work.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

The comment about your husband farting when needles are put into his butt cheek made me laugh out loud!!!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I am with you about being confused on the first one. I see the fetal heart monitor & one for the contractions on the belly & the amnio hook & was like ok. but then I noticed the wire that one would assume is for an internal monitor and that's where they lost me. You don't usually do both types of monitoring at once...

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLe

That one cake with the nurse giving that guy over her lap a shot in the rear... has anyone noticed that one of her FEET has fallen off? o.o;

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSilver

just be glad they weren't celebrating resiratory care week...

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpunxxi

"American nurses prefer their cakes a bit more bottom heavy."

I don't believe that first one is a bottom. I think that's what you see if you flip him over though. I also believe that is a man "going" boldly however.

Hint: I C.U.P.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKenkire

OMGOODNESS!!! I just noticed the transvestite nurse on the couch has a broken leg!!!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love your blog! I can't believe there's a blog completely dedicated to wrecky cakes!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenix

Well, the monitored pregnant belly was pretty good, but they forgot the outie belly button. No fully preggie gal has a deep innie like that!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess Parsons

Wreck #2 -- Will someone please tell me why a wreckerator can get guts right, but so many fail more conventional decorations? More disturbing question: what did he/she use as a guide?

Wreck #6 -- If not blown up, it looks like someone's been naughty.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Hahahah, oh dear, I thought the first bum one was actually a... erm... element of the male anatomy, splattering forth. The second bum one though - we have an actual turd, I do believe! Hurrah! Chocolate poop! (and blood... strawberry flavoured anal blood...). Is it a special diet cake, cos I certainly wouldn't want to eat it!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Highwater

Kim, sweets, not everyone has kids. Not every cake is served to kids.

I am REALLY tempted to do "pill" cupcakes for my next party. My friends love that kind of stuff! XD Would probs get lazy and use tic-tacs.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

My 10 year old and 7 year old cracked up at the title to this week's wrecks. I'm so proud!!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrue

Hahahahah! These are hilarious!

I"m the baker who made Charlotte's (my daughter) and Anna's (her best friend since kindergarten) homemade cake, and yes, they had just graduated nursing school.
It's an orange cake, the thermometer is a huge candy-making one, that's a TOOTSIE ROLL underneath it, and the 'hair' is a Hershey's Special Dark run through cheese grater. :-D

They and their guests LOVED the cake!
Thanks for including it on Cakewrecks---made my day!

Here's my own blog post about it:
http://emilyanthony.blogspot.com/2008/04/gift-sign-in-caricature-for-nurse.html

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily Anthony

I love these cakes! The pregnancy one and the GI one are beautifully done. A bit concerned about the footless blow up doll nurse with the fainting fellow (he may be enjoying that shot a bit much!!)... although I have friends who react the same way John does to needles. All I need to say is the word "needle" and one turns green and woozy. Of course I'd *never* tease anyone like that .

I'm Canadian, but not a nurse, so can't help explain that cake.

And as for the cupcakes: that's MY kind of way of popping pills!!

PS A friend of mine is at the end of her pregnancy, and her (huge) belly's still an "innie", so it's possible.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

LOL these are cracking me up!!! Pink Pill Please!

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMysticiris

Did anyone else think the thermometer-in-butt was a cigarette being put out? ... D:

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie Franz

I'm Canadian and I still say WTF! Sorry children :oP

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersleeplessnights04

I'm a nurse and I loved this post. Dirty band-aids on cupcakes! That is the most hilarious thing ever.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatience_Crabstick

It's a fetal monitor on the belly (the right colors too!) and, for some reason, electrodes on the chest.

May 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusanlee

On the first cake, I also recognize the hook they use to break the water.

May 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

All those cakes are fabulous! As an RN I can tell you that almost nothing ruins my appetite! Especially for cake! I love them all...
The only thing I can ever remember making me sick was looking at a kitty litter cake...that was just gross.

May 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Wth is that third one??

And I agree with Anony... nurses deserve much better cakes!!

May 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

hahahahhahah I just got the title!!! wrecked em.... snortling like a juvenile parakeet.....

I have to say this though- the GI nurse cake....not a lot of people would have attemted that bad boy. I mean, considering that came from a regular old store, that isn't so bad. Frankly, I'd get one of those and have at it. I love me some frosted colon mini bites.

May 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

By the way, what up with the packets of surgical lubricant surrounding laboring headless wonder?

May 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

disturbing. utterly disturbing. i actually feel ill!!!

those poor nurses. they have to see that stuff every day... and then on their cakes too!? why not a cake with some pretty flowers on it instead!? :)

May 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

I just showed my roommate these pictures. She is a GI nurse. On the second picture she kept declaring "That is AWESOME!!!". I asked her if she would eat the cake and she said "of course".

...I think I need a new roommate.

May 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

The two versions of cupcakes reminded me why I'm in pharmacy school instead of nursing. No, I'm not looking at your rash, take your meds and gtfo.

May 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercheeb

Hmm. Yeah, as someone who knows the subject better than he wants to, I was impressed with the GI tract.

OTOH, I'm no OB Nurse, so I have to ask: how often does a woman about to deliver have a navel that looks like the one on that cake?

May 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRichard

So, yeah, I know this is late, but do you notice how on the sixth cake the nurses foot has been chopped off, and is resting in the bow?

September 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are HILARIOUS! Just the kind of stuff we nurses love!!

October 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Most serendipitous! My brother is graduating from pharmacy school this weekend. He is quite the joker. I've been amply inspired to create a cheeky cake!

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVal

oh. my goodness. how did i miss these.

July 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I'm just curious how anyone would be willing to /eat/ that after seeing it...

October 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAwktastic

I am a nurse, so these cakes do not offend me. I am, however, offended by your use of the word "Trekker." Get it right. It's "Trekkie." That is all.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGoodjedi

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