My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Jane Austen's Baby Shower Chronicles

"Thank you all so much for joining me on this joyful occasion, as we celebrate the impending birth of my first child. It gives me such pleasure to see your smiling faces on this wondrous, happy day. Indeed, I am all amazement!

"I understand that you all mistook the "BYOC" on your invitations to mean 'Bring Your Own Cake.' [giggle] No matter, though! If we have no chairs, then we'll simply stand!

"Now, pray, show me these glorious confections you've brought for our afternoon respite! Eleanor, dear, you first.

"Oh. Oh, my, Eleanor. Isn't this...lovely? I am...well...truly speechless!

"Lydia, what deliciousness have you prepared?

[blushing] "Good heavens! I...I thank you, for your kindness, Lydia. Truly. I'll just...put your cake over here. Out of the sun. Under this bonnet.

"Elizabeth, darling! What kindness have you done me, in preparing such a large platter?

"AAAEEEII!! [faints]

[coming to] "Oh, do forgive that unpardonable display of emotion, Elizabeth. I was simply overcome with unimaginable...that is to say,'s just that...

"Oh, c'mon, Liz. Really? I mean, really?

"Ahem. Do excuse me, please. I believe the heat must be addling my senses.

"Now, Lord Harrington, I understand that you have also prepared a dessert! I am honored beyond words that you would bestow such a kindness...

[crickets chirping]

"Are you frickin' kidding me?!?

"What is WRONG with all of you? I invite you to my estate, I let you stand on my lawn, I have my servants cook for you, and THIS is how you repay me?!? You're all JERKS, you know that? Abominable, improper, insensitive, butt-faced JERKS. And you smell. Yes, I'm looking at you, Elizabeth.

"Catherine, do I even want to know what monstrosity you've brought to ruin my party?

"Oh... [blinking]

"It's actually quite nice.

[flourishing serving knife] "Cake, anyone?"

To my dearest acquaintances, Lora, Angela W., Anony M., Kelly R., and Crystal B.: I should imagine that this year's Proper Ladies Society will be the most popular yet!

« Ad Men | Main | Fit To Be Tied »

Reader Comments (73)

Well, now i think that over 3/4 of the baby shower cakes are cursed. Getting a pretty and nice spelled one must be like winning the ticket. (talking aobut the ones you get in bakeries , of course)

Mine was a simple sheet cake, nothing fancy, with 4 words on it. They misspelled 3 of them... Next time, my mom will do the cake.

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

i hate the human shaped ones- what happenend to duckies and bears???

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

Drool. :P

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire J.

I really need to know now: is that a baby's head coming out or a really hairy area? If it was a baby coming out, by the look on the face of the woman, why was it blocked out?

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

Is it just me, or is the "Got Milk" one holding a baby pig?

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

I don't check Cake Wrecks every day, so I always get my updates in one long stream. My only comment on the long/short debate is a request to change the settings so that a set number of days rather than posts are on the front page, so I don't have to click "Older Posts" more times when the posts are shorter.

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix


Great idea. I changed it so that there are two days showing. So right now there are four posts up. We try to limit the number of posts on a page because the load time on Blogger is reeeeealy slow but the most we'll ever have is four so not so bad.

Thanks and Wreck On!


September 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of JEN)

Hey! My name is Elizabeth! :-P

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

And to think.... they all procreated AAAAHHHH

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Baby G cake is so well done, I'm sure there are arms somewhere (possibly across the chest under the bling, gangsta style). If it was made from the Wilton teddy bear pan, at least they removed the ears.

The commentary was the best part of today's post. If I buy Jane Austen, it will sound like that, right?

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I admit the "Got Milk" one is creative, but like you said - are you kidding me?

That and WHY... WHY do bakeries actually do the nude cakes? If someone asked to do that at the bakeries here in our town, they'd be told no - after blushing red.

I think the only place anywhere near here that'd do it is a place that usually leads to needing nursery cakes to begin with.

- Melissa

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok so it was just brought to my attention that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to be on cake wrecks. My mistake. Would've liked to know my picture was being shown here though. I guess I'll have to visit this site more often.

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Swarts

Hilarious! This blog is a hoot!

September 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJAN BRADEL

I am beginning to think that anyone purchasing these cakes for a baby shower has lost their minds lol. They really either hate the mother to be or think she might have a great sense of humor about it but that ahem.. naked woman giving birth would give me nightmares no amount of therapy could cure. Oh man did your Jane Austen crack me up.

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Maybe the mom-to-be receiving the first cake is a Gwen Stefani fan?

Though if that's that case, it should read: "This is the most craziest sh*t ever!" (I would personally die laughing if somebody got me a flowery, girly shower cake with that written on it.)

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEve

She's just upset because nobody brought any naked mohawk baby carrot jockeys.

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAneela

if the "GOT MILK" cake was cream filled THAT would be freaking hilarious!

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My goodness, what a collection of hideous cakes! But your narrative is the best part of the posting! Keep up the good work.

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Being a huge Jane fan, this is one of my favorite genres of commentary you've done, Jen! And THANK YOU for the link. I hadn't seen Jane Austen's Fight Club yet. HILARIOUS!

September 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

AAAAAAHHH!! Extra nipples, and NO ARMS!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Good night! What IS that thing in baby G's clothes???

September 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris HARRINGTON (really)

Perfection! I want to see Don and Betty and the kids in the next episode, LOL.

September 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdesigner replica handbags

I cannot understand what twisted mind keeps thinking that a cake with a woman IN THE MIDST OF GIVING BIRTH with all the details was ever a good idea! o_O

September 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Nice bling bling babies. hahaha. this one, is it a cake this women in the top?
Mickey Buarao

October 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBaby Games

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>