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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
May302011

Flagging Enthusiasm

For reasons so obvious I won't even bother trying to explain them, Memorial Day has come to be synonymous with one thing and one thing only.


(Wait. There's also the furniture sales.)

Ok, two things and two things only.

Furniture sales, and this:

Just to clarify, I'm talking about grilling, not fecally suggestive icing puddles.

Yep, all over the country people are celebrating our military heroes by consuming good old-fashioned American hamburgers...


Flattened and with mayo on top, the way our founding fathers intended.

Hot dogs...

You can tell it's a hot dog because it clearly says, "Hat Dog."

...and, of course, whatever these are:

I'm going with "flaming Doritos."

Of course, bakeries know there's more to this holiday than food that looks like the other food you'll be eating today. That's why they also offer more "patriotic" designs; to stress the importance of remembering and honoring the sacrifices of our military.

It's just about dignity. You know?


Or how about a duck? A duck is totally patriotic:

Especially when you write "USA" on the flag so people know what country they're in.

Well, however you choose to celebrate it, may you have a wonderful Memorial Day. And remember: always show pride in your country by letting your freak flag fly.

Unless you'd rather eat it, of course.

Whichever you choose, just get rid of it. [shudder]

Thanks to wreckporters Chris W., Olivia I., Ashley P., Ashleigh G., Sarah B., Jessi J., & Heather M. for the grilling.

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« Save The Cakes | Main | Sunday Sweets: In Memory »

Reader Comments (75)

On the "Flaming Doritos" cake, all I can see are clown fish on a pan of brownies.

WV: sychei - These cakes are sychei tragedy!

May 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJellyJo

Oh man that first one turned my poor tummy. Never will I look at grilled burgers the same way lol. Makes me wonder why the wreckerators are so fixated on poo. Poor misguided souls...

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Dave(4:43)~~

Check it out:

PLAYING THIS WEEKEND
at the Cake Club-(9PM-2AM)

"Hottest" New Band in the area!!

VOWEL SHIFT HAT DOG

Fresh from a "Sold-Out" gig at The Wrecks

I.D.& proper dress optional.

Minimum drink order required.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@ Juniper
that pun was AWESOME!!!

I laughed so hard I snorted.

-Barbara Anne

wv: comottic
the commode where you dispose of comedic attempts that failed

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 (or should I say #2?)--why are they grilling ketchup? and cat turds? is that real cheese? YUCK

I love the flaming dancing mini T-Bone steaks. At first they looked like shields until you realize they're on a grill. Unless maybe they're mini-steaks with doritos.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Flaming Doritos....a new spicy flavor? A rock band? a gay rights group for snackers?

compelling phrase...

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

why are the flaming doritos stuck to the dirty window?

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am pretty sure that cake 2 has a tongue sticking out of it....

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What are you talking about? Ducks are the most patriotic thing! I mean, our bird was supposed to be the turkey and they're relatives... ?
Also, I think your "flaming Doritos" should have been a T-bone on fire. Someone call the fire department!

Sara

I think those 'flaming doritos' are flaming t-bone steaks.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This'll probably get me in real trouble, but those flaming Doritos look like nothing so much as symbols of the Sacred Heart. Fellow old Catholics, am I wrong?
Except for the one with the 5 flames--that's just going too far!!!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCloudy

I'm almost positive that cake says 'Hut Dog' which, in Cape Breton vernacular, is spelled correctly. Finally.

wv: psyclap. Gosh, I don't think I'm qualified to come up with the awesome definition that deserves.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJay

I just lost it when I saw the squashed green parrot with the USA label on it. But what does it mean?--who cares, it cleared my pollen-laden sinuses. (sinuses? sini? Sinai?)
Happy Post-Memorial Day
--Blondie's Mom

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lol i love the duck one :P

Tara
www.greeneyedopinions.blogspot.com

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I *think* & mind you I am no expert, but those Doritos ARE flaming T-bones!

Ok So...Out of all the things that were wreckably wrong, WHY WHY WHY do they have to make the lines on the grill cakes so far a freakin part...THE FLIPPIN HOT DOGS aka blobs of poo, would FALL aka plop RIGHT TROUGH....arggggggg.....Meg

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mind of Meagan

Kinda digging the last cake there, not gonna lie. It's like "What if we make it look more stylistic and less accidental".

wv: cationey - A short-length animated-motion method of entertainment.

"Silvester and Tweety is a cationey about this cat with a speech impediment that can't catch this bird, which has a different speech impediment."

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDamon

Was that little droplets of iced bacon on the first one?? 0_o

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

The flaming Doritos are obviously meant to be the Pokemon Shuckle.

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeren

Woah... I looked at the duck cake before reading the comment.This is what I saw: Look at the "USA" on the cake sideways. It looks like it's saying "DUC" which was very cake-appropriate.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

I think that the Doritos are meant to be steaks being cooked/grilled/massacred!

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDolphie

FLAMING DORITOS COSTS 23 DOLLARS!

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJane age 10

The second one down looks like it has a face on the side of it! It's got a red tomato nose, a big green mustache, and the mayo looking stuff at the bottom would be the creepy little smirk!

October 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNyx

Flattened mayo-which
blows raspberry at your face.
Eat seaweed burgers!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'm guessing number four is sparklers. But I like flaming Doritos much better. 😛

June 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

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