My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Big Bangs

Note: Today's post contains a word that starts with "p" and rhymes with "Venus." Parents, please parent accordingly.

Before you head out to stock up on fireworks this weekend, here's a handy tip from the folks over at Lamebook:

Perhaps I should rephrase that.

(Also: ow.)

What I meant was, when it comes to fireworks, you really want the most bang for your buck:

So always look for the cartoon steam whistle shouting, "Bang!"

You should also familiarize yourself with what fireworks actually look like, so you don't end up with a bunch of...bombs. (See what I did there?)

Even if they are patriotically potent powerful penis-ish ones.

No, trust me, you don't want sprinkles.

I see...slushies.

Oh my gosh! They killed Blinky!

(That's the red ghost from Pac-Man, kids. Now stop making me feel old.)

Important rocket safety tip:

The flamey bits should always come out the back.

Also, don't forget your patriotic donut holes!

At least they remembered the blue balls this time.

Oh, and Canada, lest you think I've forgotten you:

Happy Bloody Band Aid day!

(Once you see it, it's all you'll see.)

Thanks to Jessica G., Dawn S., Gail D., Deanna T., Amber S., Leanne O., Saralyn T., & Jennifer O., who make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh" while they shoot across the sky-y-y.

In a firework-y way, I mean.

Not a penis-ishy way.

NEW GOAL: Work the word "penis-ishy" into as many conversation today as possible. Starting...NOW.

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Reader Comments (65)

I have no idea why but the statement at least they remembered the blue balls this time.. made me die of laughter and my poor hubby just looked on at me. Ahhh Blinky they finally got you you mean Pac-Man eating jerk. He got me so many times as a kid I guess I hold old grudges lol.

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Craig -

Don't forget the mayonnaise. I'm just sayin'...

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

happy *used* bandaid day :) to you too.

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdykewife

I'm impressed. I donated to "mycharity:water" 18 months ago (during your x-mas 1 dollar a day challenge ) and today out of the blue I received an e-mail updating me on where my donation went & the difference it made AND they didn't ask me to donate more or even suggest that they needed more money; Which of course makes me want to donate again. When does this ever happen?

Thanks for putting me in touch with what seems to be a really refreshing (yet it, refreshing, HAHA) charity.

and of course thanks for all the penisy-ish humour.

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkirstie

Unfortunate color choice on wreck#1, or my mind must be in the gutter a lot...

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

I just ordered a cake for my son's July 4th birthday. I asked that they put fireworks on it. The girl who took the order had just told me that she was new and had NEVER done a cake order before. I was already worried about what kind of wreck I'll end up with; now that I've seen this post I'm positively frightened!

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

LOL I would have so given the decorator at DQ an extra tip for that first wreck. Mondo funny.

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersteveandonna

My new favorite word, which I am going to try to introduce into as many conversations I can, is penis-ishy. Thanks for the laugh.

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDoughball

It's astonishing how much time and effort goes into making some of these cupcake cakes epically bad. Making them decent boxes of cupcakes would actually be easier. Take that patriotic . . . Christmas . . . stocking . . . thing. Start with bald cupcakes. Swirl on some white frosting in a big old rosette using a big old rosette tip or smooth on some of the glossy kind, whichever. Sprinkle with red white and blue sprinkles. Done, and probably in half the time.

The first cake: Thanks for warning me. How the hell didn't anybody at the bakery notice?

Word verification: tuper. Dat cake id dust tuper, idn't it?

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, so what is there with the band-aid? I really cannot see it. At all :/

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

bloody band-aid cake is a rather apt description

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbmpashle

I called my husband over to look at this cake "that's supposed to be a firecracker." He walked over and blurted out "Why is that a penis?" I told him it was supposed to be a firecracker and he replied "That's a broken a penis. Someone actually made that for a real person?" And... we have the whole point of CW!

July 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEsther

Reading this post with a guy was doubly amusing-- your humour, his wince ;)

The only thing I can think of to explain #1, 2, and 6 (all with fire/explosion coming out of the side of the 'rocket') is that (a) the wreckerator has only seen fireworks disasters, where those lighting the rockets get maimed because the cheap rockets blew up rather than shot up, or (b) they are in rather desperate need of sex ed.

@Anonymous at 10:17-- brilliant.
@pikkewyntjie-- well, of course, Canadians would never be so impolite to actually assert our independence with weaponry ;)

Is it just me, or is that so-called maple leaf upside down? (BTW, "Bloody band aid" and penis-ishy were definitely awesome descriptors!)

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

The idea that donut holes might be feeling patriotism or any other sentiment is a little too frightening for me at this hour of the morning.

July 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

When I saw the "firework" cake at first, I thought, "bending over, pants exploded!" BANG!

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