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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul222011

The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE

 

You know how I'm always telling you baby butt cakes could be so much worse?

 

 

Things are about to get so much worse.

 

Heads up!

Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.

 

Because fetus cookies are SO last year:

Goes great with mother's milk.

And lots of screaming.

 

Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:

I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.

 

And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:

 

In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.

 

Or, in other words:

 

SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.

 

 

Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.

« Sunday Sweets: Harry's Sweet Send-Off | Main | Atlantis, We Have a Problem »

Reader Comments (411)

That is disgusting! ><

Do people eat these things?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

I was eating. Ugh.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSonja Wright

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGG!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

That placenta is the MOST disgusting thing on any food item I have EVER seen. I have two kids and am a nurse, so I'm not squeamish at all, but sweet baby dill pickles! A little decorum, please. I literally could not finish my delicious breakfast burrito after I looked at the zoom-in of the bowl of HORROR. So, thanks, Jen for kick-starting my diet for me...blech.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Ew. Ew! EW!

WV: sates. ...nevermind.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Wow. Just. Wow.

The first one is disturbing enough in a pseudosexual kind of way...BUT...the last one that poor baby looks like it's about to become a science experiment!

I think I'll skip lunch for the next week or so...YUCKO BUCKO!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

My niece would have liked the last one, but she is an OB nurse, and see's the real thing all the time..lol For the rest of us, yeah, I may never eat again. O.O

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Eeeeeew that last one...gurg (covers mouth).

As someone who's trying to get pregnant I'm now scared not only of delivering the baby but also of my baby shower. Yay?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDani

These are just wrong on so many levels. Please, no acupuncture on a pregnant tummy during a c-section with a partially exposed mama (c'mon now people, I'm having a 3rd c-section in November and this is not the image I want to have in my mind while I'm on the operating table...for any of these cakes). Let's leave the fetal views to the ultrasound techs...and I'm better off never seeing what placenta actually looks like. Had I wanted to see that, I would have gone to medical school - honestly, who would eat that (and better yet, who would PAY to eat that?)

WV: gessen - I'm gessen these wreckerators have never had their own kids, else their taste in cake would be better!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

Goodness, that last one is disturbing.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

This reminds me of a woman I used to work with who helped her daughter-in-law home-deliver her last child. She boasted that she "caught" the placenta in a cake pan, to which I thought "I am never eating any baked good she brings in again."

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarkPrincess

Ohhhhhhhh, good God. It's a little early for an cake/organ to be that... slimy. :/

So... thanks for that. heh.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiscerningmagpiecakes

omg omg omg i was totally eating breakfast and almost ralphed when i saw the last two....yuck yuck yuck....must go scrub eyes out with bleach and turpintine and whatever else i can find to get the images off of my mind...maybe some steel wool.....

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

Seriously?!?! I do not even want to know what possesses people to think these cakes are a good idea. The first one isn't so bad, but who wants to eat a person? And the last two are a little too realistic. Maybe they were for descendants of the Donner Party?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

Cakes #1 and #3: Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Oh, those are just disgusting. Especially the last one! I could never eat those...Ugh...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

I agree

takes skill to create something like the last one

not the question of could you but should you

I am in the sciences and there is nothing I like better than patology

I think the issue for me is that the baby looks dead.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUpupaepops

Call Inquirer!
Septuplets! Six stars and one
babe born to torso!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Well, placenta does mean cake in Latin...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ew. Very talented people can make a beautiful wreck. Just goes to show that not all wrecks are ugly.

Becky

wv: endisind

That may be the grey thing hanging out of the belly...I don't think that is supposed to happen.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why???????????????????????????????

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! Sunday Sweets two days early! hahahah.... Well, you really delivered today!!

wv-netal: nothing like a few neo netal cakes to start the day...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Right after viewing this post, I got the following e-mail from my uterus:

"I QUIT!!!!!"

(I didn't even know it had e-mail. Must be wireless...)

WV: debaces -- yep, that pretty well sums up these cakes.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Do you think it tastes like cherries?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDom

Who THOUGHT about making those cakes ????? Wow !

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMel

That's it, i have officially switched to pies.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

The close-up of the placenta cake... I actually shuddered. That is so disturbing.
Jen, do you just sit back at laugh at our horror after you post something like this? (I totally would if I were you!)

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

There are no words created that could possibly describe these cakes. I thought the first one was bad, until I saw the next one, which was worse, the next one (in the words of my grandson) worser. Until finally the last one, the worserest of all. Ew

Jackie

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Drink Ladies

I wonder exactly how one goes about ordering a placenta on a cake. I mean it's not exactly something that they proudly display after you have given birth or anything, more like something you find in a medical journal. So the customer had to say, "One placenta please" and that baker had to ask, "Placenta? And what exactly does a placenta look like?" I can only imagine the conversation that followed describing the placenta in all it's glory. "NO! More red than pink and make sure you EMPHASIZE those bulging veins!" BLECH!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJayde

Oh my.
Oh. Me. Oh. My.

One word: Wrong!

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!

Did I say those cakes were just plain wrong?

wv: essesse: When reading Cake Wrecks, one needs to essesse the damages before eating or drinking anything! Feeling queasy or spewing beverages on your screen is always possible. :-D

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I actually WAS eating while reading this post. I gagged a bit at the fetus cake, and it just got worse from there. This is most definitely the most disgusting CW post EVER. Much worse than poop cakes!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Well, I've been saying I have to start a new diet (again) and now it will be easy. I'll just put today's post on the frig.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I'm not easily grossed out but EWWW EWWWW EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertina

yeah i have a pretty strong stomach but today's post actually ignited a reaction. Having birthed all four of my kids at home with just my hubby, I saw it all. But I never would want to eat any of it! No matter how much I craved a sugar fix! lol
sick sick sick ( but talented especially the last one)

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

lol the word verification that came up after I posted....wayou

Wayne & Garth say these cakes are totally wayou (pronounced way ewwwwwww)!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Oh dear.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathy W

Slimey the Worm and
Thing march in proud protest down
Belly Avenue.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'm a lurker and rarely comment here, but I had to put my 2 cents today. WHAT were they THINKING? I'm convinced it was actually a lack of thinking that created these monstrosities. Great birth control, thanks.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterogorka

Nasty. Just nasty.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

@DarkPrincess "LIKE!" (in a grossed out sort of way...)

wow.

In the grand scheme of things, that first cake is actually not so bad. Mildly disturbing, but not bad at all......

The rest, however, I think are best summed up by today's WV --- "hurlid" -- I hurlid after reading today's post.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia

Not to disgust anyone further, but did you know that there are people that actually EAT placentas? REAL placentas, not just placenta cake! I saw it on an entry on the STFU, Parents blog. Some mom made a shake out of her placenta and posted a picture on facebook. Absolutely disgusting. DISGUSTING!!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

MUST. SCOUR. BRAIN. WITH. BLEACH.

Make it go away.

Please, please make it go away.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My eyes! Ack, those are the most disturbing cakes since the meatloaf baby.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wanted to scream after looking at those. I know I gasped at the last one. I agree, that last one is showing a lot of talent to make all of that, but did someone along the way forget that these are cakes? Meant to be eating? And that NO ONE wants to eat that?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

I am without speech...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Who wants to bet more
realism awaits?
Panoramic view.

wv: ositsp

So whens my students slouchs, I says "ositsp."

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I've never had a baby... thank goodness.... but here I am tentatively asking...

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE SPATULA LOOKING THINGS ON THE TOP RIGHT OF THE LAST CAKE??? WHAT ARE THEY USED FOR??? AHHHHHHH!!!! don't tell me...

**Telling my husband to start adoption papers**

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