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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov202012

Shoo, Horns!

Are you tired of buying a special dessert every Thanksgiving, only to have your friends and family snarf it all down before you get a piece?

Then this year, why not buy:

 

The Cornucrapia
Leftovers Guranteed!™

 
That's right, your local bakers have twisted the traditional "Horn of Plenty" into something MUCH less appetizing! Just choose from any of these exciting designs!

The Black Hole

 

The Stinky Slinky

 


The Mud Slide

 

The Twirly Turd


The Purge

 

The Litter of Runts

 

And that relentless best seller:

The Miserable Vomitous Mass

(or Humperdink, for short.)


Find yours at a local wreckery today!


Thanks to Kelly G., Sarah, Joanna C., Roni F., Jesse, Maureen S., and Dan W. for horning in on our Thanksgiving parade.

« Cake Wrecks Finally Gives You The Bird | Main | What About The Twinkie? »

Reader Comments (68)

Well, you can't say we weren't warned about poop tornadoes.
Love the "Princess Bride" reference!
Wow, these are just scary. I think some wreckerators need to be thankful that they still have a job after putting these on the store shelves.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Princess Bride! Can't get much better than that! LOL

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Humperdinck, Humperdink, Humpeeeeeerdiiiiink!

Thanks for the early morning poo fest

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKeri

The Princess Bride references ALWAYS make me smile.

Which is needed after looking at those cakes!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Witch's Kitchen

In the spirit of the season, I want to offer my thanks (sincere!) for giving me a guaranteed laugh every day. Cake Wrecks rocks!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Inconceivable!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Dear God! What is that thing?

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Definately "too the Pain"

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

I cannot believe the laziness on the runts cake. C'mon - it's not even a cone!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I shudder to think what someone ate to come out with The Twirly Turd. **blech**

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I think that first cake needs a little less frosting, a little more Preparation H. Oy.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

I think that last cake just sucked one life out of me. I need Miracle Max! LOL

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

All that icing... Yum!!! Cake is just a conduit for icing after all. Right?

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Humperdink also reminded me of Shai Hulud...or maybe I've just read Dune one too many times.


Hey, Dune-inspired cakes. Now there's a thought.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanna

Okay, I tittered at the plastic fruit on the "Stinky Slinky"... And the guffawed - quite loudly - at the "Humperdink"... My co-workers are already convinced I'm a bit -ahem- tetched... This did nothing to sway their conviction. Thanks! Aheh.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I cannot believe that any decent baker would think these appetizing, much less worth your money O_o what is wrong with people?

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I... I feel ill... [And I'm thinking of saving the picture of "The Purge" to show my D&D players what a shoggoth looks like!)

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGoryDetails

I was going to eschew the poo today....but a quicky..

What are those things...the Cornucrapia...
These designs are all over the map-ia...
Looking at this can really sap-ia...
My head hurts...I need a nap-ia...

@Sharyn: good job! And the title...it was a shoe-in...

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Have these wreckinators ever even SEEN a cornucopia? Or read a Thanksgiving picture book?

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

The "Humperdink" actually made me nauseous... We have to re-watch "Princess Bride" - it's been too long & I know I missed some of the jokes. Sharyn - I'm really glad you're part of the writing team :-)

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

It's just so not okay. so not okay. >*

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin Redhead

When I see these "Message Cookie" stickers, all I can think is...

The is a cookie with a message in, and the message is "beware". This is not a cookie for eating, this is a cookie for lying down and avoiding.

I could certainly envision some of these opening up the sluices at both ends...

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCat

"The Purge" kind of looks like a multi-eyed brown scorpion--now THAT'S an appealing holiday dessert!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Mmm..nothing quite like a slice of RuntLoaf....

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMona

That first one is actually a cookie!! Even worse!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeazy

Ok I'm sorry I looked at these so soon after lunch ... but my question is this - how much icing can you put on a cookie cake anyway? Did you see the Mud Slide? Is that really six inches of brown frosting piled on a cookie?

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

The second is disturbingly realistic.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

That last one reminded me of the 1990 movie Tremors.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTNM

No, not "too the Pain", most assuredly "POO the Pain" ;)

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Runts? When did I eat Runts?

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamlin

"The Black Hole" looks like the unholy offspring of a king cake and a bar of Ex-Lax.

"The Purge" looks like something I battled in an MMORPG once.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I'm with you on Humperdink--reminds me of a Dune worm, too!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Have you burnt your spiral cut ham and cried so hard you've dripped big green boogers all over it? Don't worry! Slap some Runts on that baby, call it a Cornucopia and your Nearly Homemade centerpiece is finished! Also, if you just have some tapers and corn nuts....

Please tell The Purge to stop looking at me with its many partially digested orange eyes.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I do not think this holiday means what you think it means wreckorators.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKitty Soft Paws

The Purge reminded me of the multi-eyed creature from Labyrinth, one of my all time fave movies!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

Runts? ... or Grunts!?!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Lost iron marbles?
Thankful metal detectors!
Black Friday special.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Stinky Slinky" ftw! Lol! But srsly, what is UP with the Litter of Runts?! It looks like a hay bale!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Is that... rice? And grapes? On a cake?

Maybe they're trying for the native angle. In which case they still messed it up, since it should probably be wild rice and cranberries.

I don't know. I just don't.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterC

The Runts cake was inspiring. I am, as I type this, stuffing my cornucopia with real bananas, oranges, limes, eggplants (those are eggplants, right?) and hearts. Getting those hearts wasn't easy, but it was so worth it. This will be the best centerpiece ever!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wow. I didn't think a cake could look as unappetizing as these (particularly the Humperdink). Even with the organ/diseased feet/suggestive balloon cakes, I could look beyond the immediate gross factor and see cake. With these, not so much. And what is it with the cookie-cake? I can understand a piped-on "Happy Birthday" and maybe even a decorative icing border, but WHY would anyone WANT a cookie covered with so much GAK-Factor? Inconceivable!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Gotta love the Cornucrapia...the only thing these were missing were the actual kernels of corn! Hungry anyone? ACK!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNicole S.

I just sent the following to a friend on G-Chat:

I'm about to send you a link.

Swallow anything you currently have in your mouth.

(link to post)

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBuenaSuerte

:::blerg::: Ugh...that last one....:::blerg:::

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Would the one with the Runts also be called a Logucopia? Or would that be Cornulogia?

At least the leaves were pretty...

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabethB

I'm afraid to ask what the "purge" cake is...uh....purging? The least scary thing I can come up with is fruitcake.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K

Boss: I need 10 cakes with a "cornucopia" on them.

Wreckerator: A what?

Boss: You know, a horn of plenty...looks kinda like a curly ram's horn with fruits and veggies coming out of it.

Wreckerator: Oh! Sure. I can do that.

Boss: (looking at poo tornadoes) O.M.G. why did I think this was a good idea? Oh well. No time to make new ones, so we gotta put them out anyway.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

@SuBee ~ Two days in a row you made me snort. Hats of to you!!!

@Sharyn ~ Awesome job!

@mel ~ Thank you... no... seriously... thank you!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

My God, how can anyone eat ANY of these? Bleah!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

We Nebraskans are used to tornado warnings and strange things dropping out of the sky and flying through the air. However, I have never seen anything that remotely resembles that last thing with the vomit tornado of doom on it. WTF?

Thanks to those who pointed that that the first "creation" was a cookie. I was so entranced by the flying saucer with braided pony tail spewing multicolor alien ribbons and ornaments that I didn't pay any attention to the label.

As for the rest: it should be a felony to do that to chocolate frosting.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

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