My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Improper Grooming 

Grooms-to-be, we need to talk.

Your future wife has probably been planning her dream wedding since puberty. So your job is to pick a groom's cake that shows you gave this one small decision more than 5 minutes' thought with a Magic 8 Ball while you waited for Halo to load.

So. A few tips:


- Don't give your infantile friends the chance to make "Big Melon" jokes: 

Because you know they will, and probably to your future mother-in-law.

(You might avoid this situation by printing out a simple reference guide for your baker:


- While we're at it, don't give your friends any openings for "limp hose" jokes, either.

 They'll probably save those for their toasts. 


- There is no place for entrails at a wedding. Ever.

Trust me, the bride will hate your guts. 


- Do not, under any circumstances, insinuate your bride is a female dog.

Not cool, man. Not cool.


- Also avoid any implication that you're having a shotgun wedding...

(...and that multiple shots were required)


...or that you were a sitting duck.

(That is a cake, right? The masterful camouflage is making it so hard to see!)


- And finally, never, EVER, give your friends and family a reason to think your marriage might go down the crapper:



Thanks to Todd Kim, Anon M., Katie L., Allison, Anna C., Anon., and Solli S. for joining me in a rousing rendition of "Here Comes the Snide."

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Reader Comments (54)

Maybe that 1st cake, instead of being a failed bsktball? Maybe It's a "Can't Elope"? badda-boom

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkitmom

Tank or bowl, madam?
You see, they're different flavors.
Ah, Dad! Tank or bowl?

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I kinda like the duck cake. Without the ugly camoflouge or the weeds, I would totally like that. Ducks are awesome!

January 13, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternai

I have to agree the dead dog is one of the most awful cakes I have EVER seen!

Many times, groom's cakes are a surprise to the groom, so I'm guessing on many of these, he had no idea he was even getting one! When someone orders a groom's cake for the groom, they try to go with his interests, job, etc., hence (unfortunately) the toilet cake.

The white blob on the limp hose cake - yep, pretty positive it's supposed to be a fire fighter's helmet.

I'm just amazed at what people think is good to send out the door!!! Keep the wrecks coming!

February 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

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