Torte Reform

The FDA has issued strong new warnings about the serious side effects caused by cake wrecks.

If you, or someone you know, has been injured by a cake wreck, call the Law Offices of Ann B'Lance-Chaser today!

Because I'm a lawyer. It says so right here on my gavel.

Side effects of cake wrecks can include:

Confusion.

Nausea.

Erectile Dysfunction.

Vision loss.

Crankiness.

And whiplash.

That's right, whiplash:

"My birthday cake was so ugly I did a double double-take and hurt my neck. Ann B'Lance-Chaser got me 3 dozen cupcakes!* THANKS, ANN B'LANCE-CHASER!"

Don't delay! Call Ann B'Lance-Chaser, and get YOUR just desserts.

*Actual award was 5 dozen cupcakes. A 40% contingency fee will be assessed on all edible settlements. Fifty percent if chocolate is involved.

Thanks to Michelle B., Amy S., Juliana & Lauren C., another Amanda S., Karyn T., Bea V., and Claire O'B for the legal ease.