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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb082012

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Felony

We here at Cake Wrecks care deeply about Bakery Copyright Infringement. (BCI) So to avoid any unpleasant legal entanglements, and allay the concerns of you -- our valued readers -- allow us to present:

"Obviously-not-the-character-you're-thinking-of!”©

 (All characters depicted in “Obviously-not-the-character-you’re-thinking-of”© are original characters created by their respective bakers. Any similarity to any character, living or dead, real or fictitious, cute or creepy, liberal or conservative, is merely coincidental, and shame on you for thinking otherwise. Characters depicted herein are the sole property of “Obviously-not-the-character-you’re-thinking-of”©, and may not be duplicated without the express written consent of “Obviously-not-the-character-you’re-thinking-of”©. Violators will be prosecuted.) 

 

She's welcoming! She's feline! She's...

How Are You Cat!

(“Hello, kiddies!”)

 

Looking for something for your train-crazy little boy? He's just like your favorite train character, but he's obviously not your favorite train character, since making a cake of your favorite train character would be technically illegal! He's...

Larry the Liquid-Carrying Locomotive!

(Wow! That’s one tanked engine! You can see how original he is, right?

Aw, c’mon. Don’t be such a Doubting Thomas.) 

 

Ooh! Wait a minute! Who's this sexy -- but completely unrecognizable -- little blue fictional character with blonde hair? That’s not Smurfette, is it?

Of course not! Because that would be Against The Smurfin' Law!

She's "Smurpette" and she's totally different!

"Why don't you take your smurpin' smurp and smurp it where the smurp won't smurp, Smurpes?!"

(See? Totally different!)

 

 He's concerned for your well-being and he's a bear. He's a...

Concerned For Your Well-Being Bear!

(Be kind; he has many cares to bear. )

 

And finally, this absolutely unique character lives in a pie tin beneath the waves, and he’s safe for your non-stick pots and pans! He's...

Squeeze Blob No-Scratch!

(Anybody have some spare pants?)

 

Just remember, bakers: When in doubt, eat the evidence.

 

"Obviously-not-the-character-you're-thinking-of!”©
“Our bad judgment makes us judgment proof.”™

 

Thanks to Beth W., Caitlin P., Cheryl V., Jen M., Dixie, and a very VERY special thanks to Sharyn, one of our favorite commenters and today's guest collaborater. If you laughed especially hard at any of our lines today, it's probably her fault. Thanks, Sharyn!

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Reader Comments (79)

That was a great post. I didn't see any resemblance to the characters you were alluding to. Or to anything I'd want to buy, eat, or share.

But the comments were great! Awesome team effort on the post.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Rainbow pox upon
Squeeze Blob No Scratch! Might want
to get that looked at.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I can confirm that that supposed-train is no character anyone would recognize as a copyrighted character. And I should know. I have a 2-year-old son.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

The bear looks incontinent.

Eew.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

See, and I was thinking that the "Smurpette" character has a much closer resemblance to the California Raisin claymation guys that were so famous twe..*mumble mumble* years ago

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Very nice, Sharyn!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Concerned For Your Well-Being Bear looks like the love child of Grover from Sesame Street and a Kare Bear (maybe with Huckleberry Hound as the godfather?)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDominic

Wow, I felt a little piece of my childhood die when I saw that NOT Care Bear. Great sadness. Must look at NOT Spongebob and shake it off. I'd actually eat that one, despite only vaguely resembling the real thing, gotta give them props for all the colorful candy sprinkles, really adds that extra touch to the obviously insanity of the character. As for HAY kitty, she needs her nose wiped and how does one go about making florescent yellow frosting??? It boggles the mind.

@Amy I'm with you, I remember that too. :)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Larry locomotive looks like a mouldy slice of bread that fell under the stove last year. Is his mission to invent a new line of fungus-based antibiotics?

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersuzuki_dvr

High-heeled hitchhiker:
Perfect preschool role model!
Blonde wig included. . .

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Larry the Liquid-Carrying Locomotive is really the result of the infamous Toxic waste scene from Robocop.

You see, he only APPEARS to be smiling, but in fact his grossly misshapen face is dropped down to ground level and frozen in that grotesque grimace forever. Unlike any characters we've ever heard of before...

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

Smurpette looks like a Smufette who's had a little work done. Are you sure Smurfett just hasn't changed her name?

Brava, Sharyn!!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I love every one of your posts but I don't think I've ever laughed as hard or as long as I did while reading today's compilation of creativity. Just LOLOLOL!!!!!!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMags@the Other Side of 50

The bear kind of looks like he has a camel's toes. That is not to be confused however with looking like he has camel toe, which would be really weird.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Perfect break from studying for the bar :)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKLo

It makes me happy that you're allowing people to help you. You guys rock!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMW

MY EYES!!!! D:

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Sharyn,

I laughed very hard. I've also been pulling midnight grading sessions for days. Thank you for being today's hero.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Are you sure that's Smurpette and not one of the Smurps in drag?
Larry the Liquid Bearing Locomotive is truly hideous and How Are You Cat is close behind in vileness. One has to assume the wreckerators were totally fried when they made these because that's the only circumstance I can assume where they could have finished their efforts, looked and thought, "Yep! Nailed it!"

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

These aren't the droids you're looking for.....

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLadyMac

"How Are You Cat" also has a runny nose. Talk about ruining your appetite.

Awesome awesome post!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I think Thomas & Percy had a crash or something... or maybe they were being really useful engines and took a trip to Chernobyl and were attacked by radioactive mutant ninja bears (or possible Smurpette) and welded into an entirely new creature.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

The train looks a little more like Chuggington to me, Disney Junior's train cartoon, but that is purely subjective.

http://disney.go.com/disneyjunior/chuggington

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

"Squeeze Blob No-Scratch"...that was Brillo-ent...! And, huge congratulations to Sharyn!!!!!! Way to go!! ! A tip o' the toque to you, my friend!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

I thought the first one was a poorly-done Ruby, from Max&Ruby.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterB

Great job Sharyn!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

Squeeze Blob No-Scratch is actually kind-of cute. It looks his Mother (Sponge Roberta Yellow Dress) had a run-in with Mater the Tow Truck from Pixar's "Cars". LOL!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddess

Now I understand why, all those years ago, there was a call to ban the Care Bear books from the library. Someone had foreseen the baking of today's cake and had hopes of saving us from the sight.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Oh, y'all out did yourselves with the puns today! Awesome team work! Nice job, Sharyn!

Maybe we can also have a haiku-filled post from Ms. Haiku Joy??

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

Concerned For Your Well-Being Bear appears to be SO concerned that he has neglected his own, erm, bladder control issues. Poor thing. How absorbent ARE cupcake liners, anyway?

(argh)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarmiehead, the Un-Stalker

Two words: Loved. It.
OK, two more: Great job. :)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The Smurpette is blonde? I thought her hair was green. Remember the bad old days when you tried to do a home hair-coloring job and the blonde dye turned your hair green? Maybe that's her problem. :-)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Sharyn, it is awesome the way your sense of humour blends in so well. Adding a new ingredient to something that was already perfect can be a delicate procedure, but I think adding Sharyn to the Cake Wrecks Team worked out wonderfully! Flawlessly done, Team.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

The last one's not so bad actually, if he's shouting happy birthday, but I don't know about that first Top Cat one. It still might get the baker in trouble.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I'm trying to figure out how you even knew that Larry the Liquid-Bearing Locomotive was supposed to be a train, much less what train...! He looks like what my bread aspires to turn into if I leave it too long in the bowels of the cupboard. The other cakes bear a passing, if spastic, resemblance to familiar characters, but he looks like something the Doctor would meet.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Wow, you used "Smurf" as a verb, and did it properly. I thought my car forum came up with that. Win!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTaryn

Thank you! What a delightful post to show my nieces and nephews! I knew you liked children.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

This was so much fun!

Thanks, All.

@Haiku Joy -- I'd send you chocolate, Advil and an ergonomic correcting pen if I could.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That's not Prozac Kitty?

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

Great Job, Sharyn!

Don't hit me (anybody) but I actually think the CCC-ness of the Concerned For Your Well-Being Bear actually works in it's favour and looks sort of cute, if more like a monkey (sans tail) than a bear.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I don't know why, but I feel sorry for the carebear.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephat

I think Sponge Smurpette's hair is tinted green because of the chlorine in the pool she escaped from.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

How Are You Cat looks like she's up to no good. Look at her eyes!

I don't think Larry is carrying a liquid. I think he is turning into a liquid of questionable toxicity.

Smurpette has been to the community pool one too many times this winter and turned her hair green. I question her use of the square-one-piece-bathing-suit-and-heels look.

Awww. I feel sorry for the CFYWB Bear. He was almost cute. Except for the poorly done rainbow, the exceptionally long legs, the "toes" and the accident on the cake board. You know, and the fact that he is a CCC (patooie!).

Sqeeze Blob, No-Scratch those colorful sponge-pox you've got all over you!

Wonderful job Sharyn and the rest of the CW Team! Woot!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Laura-really, the bear is cute? Did you go back and look at those demon eyes? And the fact that he has a leakage problem doesn't make him look so cute? I am not hitting you, but I am grumbling really loud. Robyn > great job!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeg D.

How Are You Cat© must be getting really popular. I just saw her in piñata form at the local 96¢ Store (because 99¢ is just too expensive).

Seriously, it looked just like that and was hanging next to Squeeze Blob No-Scratch©, something I'm going to call "Shelmo©" and a familiarly animated version of Fireplace Debris Girl©®™☠, who is "Obviously-not-the-character-you're-thinking-of!”©

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmamonkey

@SaraCVT: I have a horrible feeling that the only reason we know "Larry" is supposed to be a train is because that's what the customer asked for. I feel deeply sorry for whoever is opening that cake box.

I agree this "creation" would look right at home on Dr. Who

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

Go, Sharyn! WOOT
Ah, these are the days we’ll look back on when we sit on the front porch of the DOC Retirement Home for Really Awesome Broads and Dudes.

@ LadyMac Perfect!! Move along.

I think the Concerned for Your Well-Being Bear is a she. It’s the heart tattoo on the hip that clued me in.

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

OMG!! LMAO!!! I so love this website, but the post today really took the cake (no pun intended). Those "fake me out" imitation cakes & descriptions were hilarious!! Love you guys!

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKenya

ha-ha-ha!!! I was laughing my pants off until I got to Smurpette....then I got really, really scared...

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCharlene

"when in doubt, eat the evidence"....... have fork & stand ready to help! :)

February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueP

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