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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May152014

Copyright, Schmopyright

Obviously-Not-The-Character-You're-Thinking-Of©

is pleased to present an exciting new opportunity!

Bad Enough Baking School!

In just a few short weeks, you too can bake:

"Hell No Kitty!"

and other vaguely recognizable characters that are just Bad Enough to avoid pesky copyright litigation.

 

Haven't you always dreamed of turning out masterpieces like:

Iron Toaster

2 settings: Light or Stark.

 

Mickey Mumps

"Who's the leader of the club
With no immunity?
M-I-C-K-E-Y
Stay away from me!"

 

Buzzankhamun

Boy Pharaoh or Space Explorer?

Can't decide = indemnified!

 

Barney the Carnivore

I love meat, you smell good. Gonna eat your neighborhood! ♫

 

Scary-el

"I'd give anything to have legs so I could walk off this cake."

 

Dora the Deplorable

Brace yourself!

 

And that perennial favorite:

The Cat In Hazmat!

The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
And watched the cat decay.

 

Bad Enough Baking School!
The ability we value most is plausible deniability.™
Apply Today!

 

I can't deny how thankful we are to Brad B., Johanna L., Jayme A., Clarissa W., Katey L., Stephanie D., Anony M., and Kristy C., for being good enough to realize these were bad enough.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« More Confessions of a Master Baker | Main | Tonight at the Lucky Stardust Lounge »

Reader Comments (89)

I know that I've read CakeWrecks for too long when I know that I'll be back later today to see mel's response. :)

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Please excuse me while I go cry in a corner over the poor poor Cat in a Hat

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Do I send in a resume, or can I send my most requested cake, "Frozeden" featuring that cute little snowman, Olump?

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

Sharyn, you are on a roll today! Hilarious post.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Hell No Kitty had me falling out of my chair and spitting tea on the screen. Sharyn, I BLOODY LOVE YOU.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

The Dora one is the best, but I giggled through them all. The commentary is always funny, but today's was exceptionally so. I'll join millbrit in checking back later for mel's response.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

O-M-G, can't breathe after Light or Stark... Good thing it's my last day at work and I don't care that I freak these people out by laugh-snorting this early in the morning!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M

I LOVE your creative sense of humor :) How you come up with these is wonderful :) and i think the cat in the hat looks a little like Achmed the Dead Terrorist ;)
thank you for the giggles :)

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

So 1st Cole doesn't get a birthday? How sad.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

My question on the Buzzankhamun cake: Whose birthday is it? I read "Racpal" with a backwards C. Translation anybody?

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterfrseel

I know I've seen too many wrecks when I look at Scary-el and think, "Ya know, that's really not too bad, except for the face... and maybe the tail... and her right arm is a bit skinny... but other than that, I've seen worse."

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertaf

The Dora cake is proof of a Spongebob & Dora tryst

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuzG

Hell No! by Obvioulsy-Not-Lionel-Richie

I've been decorating cakes
Inside my mind
And I’m obviously-not-who-you’ve-been-thinking-of
A thousand times
I sometimes seem to
Pass for good enough
Hell no!
It wasn’t me you're looking for!
You can’t see it in my eyes
You can’t see it in my smile
I’m almost all you wanted
but your guests might start to chide
'cause I know just what not to say
And I know just what not to do
And I want to tell you so much
I’m from Bad Enough Baking School

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

"2 settings, light or Stark"
"Mickey Mumps"
Bwaahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Thanks for that Sharyn.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I wonder if 1st Cole had a Donald Cluck cake....

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergeeky Heather

The Dora thing up there makes me think of Rex on Toy Story (Or the T-Rex on Meet the Robinsons!) with the little bitty arms. o.O

@Sharyn ~ I less than 3 you in the most unstalkerish way! BTW, it was 80 here yesterday ;-)

I'll join the crowd over there waiting for @mel to come play with us today...

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I read this everyday and have never commented, but I had to today! I almost spit my lunch on my screen when I got to Mickey Mumps and the rest made me laugh til I cried! Thank you so much for making the crazy last day of school hysterically funny instead of just hysterical.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I am going to have nightmares about that Dora... ohhhh man.... She looks like a failed attempted at a new Wallace and Gromit character.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPrtr3210

frseel -- I wondered the same thing about the name on the Buzzankhamen cake. Raquel? Rachael?
Sharyn, wtg!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertmmvol

Oh my gosh! That Dora cake looks like Nigel Thornberry! Dora Thornberry? Nigel Dornberry? Dora the Explornberry?

I don't know. It's magnificent.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterruffinaclone

Dear Sharyn/dba/Bad Enough Baking School:

First of all, please excuse the dust upon this missive. We are in the midst of remodeling our offices and things here are a little messy. We have hired the premiere architect in the area, Lloyd, a pillar of the community, a cornerstone of the industry, a man of stature, to do this so we have high hopes. However, things don’t always work out as planned. Our man is somewhat unresponsive to our requests. We asked the architect about installing an elevator, but he just gave us stares. And sometimes our own staff is a bit stubborn. Frank, from our Forthright section, (where they translate legalese into everyday English – it’s located up front) kept insisting that one area was designed wrong. Finally, I had to tell him, “Frank, Lloyd’s right.”

Also, we’re busily involved in a large infringement case, and we’re spending a lot of time getting the copy right about the copyright.

Which brings me to today’s concern. I received a call from Mr. Gotno Tipps, one of our new clients. He’s corresponded with Cake Wrecks recently, and, as you may recall, he’s the President of CloseEnuff Bakeries™, which makes the Incredibly Similar Cakes ™ line, as well as the popular Adequates™ series, which includes the Princess-In-Waiting Cake™, What’s That? Cake ™, Faint Resemblance If You Squint Cake ™, and the I’ll Take Anything Cake™.

He is also about to release his newest line, Patty-Cake-Make-A-Cake™ Cake-In-A-Box®. This is a pre-school product designed for small children just learning about cake and all its joys. It consists of several Pieces of Cake™ (left over from other cakes, or sections of day-old-cakes), and several plastic bags (NOT A TOY)(DO NOT PUT ON HEAD) of various colored frosting (our choice of colors, but there will be a lot of brown). With this highly educational kit, the child will be encouraged to explore their creativity by arranging the Pieces of Cake™ into any shape they like and cover the whole thing with frosting from the Bag-O-Frosting© selection. Mr. Tipps has tested this product on a small, inconspicuous area of children, and it seems safe when used as directed.

As you know, finding and keeping bakers and decorators for these lines is no easy task. While the traits of being indifferent and nonplussed, along with an air of que sera sera and a total distain for accuracy will carry a decorator a long way, eventually one will make something that actually resembles the request, and the, oh, boy…their head swells and off they go to open their own shop.

Therefore, Mr. Tipps is proposing that CloseEnuff Bakeries™ either acquire Bad Enough Baking School through an outright purchase agreement (which could include cash, stocks, and pieces of cake – not, however, Pieces of Cake™) or through a partnership which could involve CloseEnuff Bakeries™ providing instructors for the School (one of our best decorators, Mr. Add Hock would be perfect for this) and placement opportunities for the School’s graduates, should there be any.

We understand you will want to consider this and due some diligence before making a decision. Mr. Tipps’ fiduciary would be Sid (known as Sid the Fid). He’s worked with a lot with law schools, so he’s a man well familiar with legal principals.

Please consider Mr. Tipp’s offer. We think such a purchase or partnership would be, as they say, the frosting on the cake of less than mediocrity. In fact, that could be the School’s motto: Bad Enough Baking School – When Less Than Mediocrity Is More Than Enough©.

Sincerely,

Mr. Potato, Head Counsel
Tinker, Toys and Tops

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Dora the Potatohead! I've been looking for one of those since...never!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I thought the last one was Waldo... I found him!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

@frseel, I was confused too. I thought the name was "Raspul."

That is the derpiest, most frightening Dora I've ever seen!!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Dora and the cat in the hat are terrifying! The cat looks like some demented skull with a swirly hat. I will have nightmares I'm sure of it!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I honestly thought that the first one was supposed to be Mog from the Final Fantasy series of games.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFlatlander in VT

Awww...I felt kinda bad for some kid getting an Iron Man cake that looks like a toaster. Then I felt a little worse when I saw that it was for someone's 23rd birthday.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDude

This was a literary masterpiece

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

How exactly is that The Cat in the Hat?
I had to Google the image to remind myself what he actually looks like. Answer: Not anything like that cake.

Mickey Mumps made me laugh out loud, but I sobered quickly at the thought of eating all that black icing and the biological aftermath. Ugh.

And Mel . . . no pressure, OK? :)

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Frseel: Racpal with the "backwards c" is Rajpal, I think, a somewhat common Indian name.

Laughed so hard til tears came out of my eyes at "Dora". Ay-yi-yi - that thing is the stuff of my nightmares!

Excellent commentary, Sharyn!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterallie

Between Sharyn and Sandy I think my face will be cramping the rest of the day from stifling my guffaws.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterE. Anne

That last cake: apparently the Addams Family now operate a bakery.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterM.R.

You say Iron Toaster like it's a bad thing.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

@milbrit and @Carol: the pressure! the pressure! Legal stuff is outside my area, but Mr. Potato, Head Counsel, had some thoughts on this. I see he wisely decided that the best course was to join 'em.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I am very glad to know that was supposed to be Dora because I would never have guessed that on my own. I also wish to confess before you all that I sang the Barney line. *hanging head in shame*

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

What I don't understand is why, after viewing a post of even the most egregious and horrible cakes, I want cake? Maybe I just want the IDEA of cake. But not the poop cakes.

that said, I kinda like the Buzzankhamun cake. I think it's the eyebrow. And wait ... that means there is a Tutankhamun cake pan ??

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

Sharyn: You've done it again! Hell No Kitty and Mickey Mumps will live forever! And loved Brace yourself! spp....

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

The Cat in the Hat? Looks more like we found Waldo, no?

In any case, I am SO using that Mickey Mouse one...

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterComicBookGoddess

@frseel: It's not a backwards "C", it's a "J", as in: RAJPAL.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Dark Ferret

Oh, Sharyn, that was brilliant! My giggles will last the afternoon.

I love the "missed mark" wrecks. Such lovely imperfection. LOL!

Poor @mel - such pressure to perform. Just remember - we'll always love you. :-)

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Dora reminds me of some of the human on "Ahh! Real Monsters!"...which would make it a double not really copyright, right? Unless it's in China.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Doesnt the cat in the hat one look like where's waldo the cat version?

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKeira

I personally think the first one looks like a Moogle from Final Fantasy.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMochaKitty

I thought #2 was a school bus. I don't know why.
Mickey after waay too much novocaine. Amd abbaremtly no moh teef.
Does anyone else see Lucille Ball as the mermaid ("eeew")? Or Debra MESSing for you young folk.
Poor Dora. Not only does she have Cushing's, she....NO! Dora, no! DON'T go to Mickey's dentist! And why is she sitting next to three exposed screws, with the lockwashers on the wrong side? (Forgive me, I'm trying to put up a screen door...)
And the poor cat. Is that even a cake? Styrofoam with 5 ladyfingers in front and blobs of buttercream doesn't count, does it? Or was this the Sandra Lee division of the Bad Enough Baking School? (But the face reminds me of an old boss of mine, who was actually a very nice lady, so it's OK...)

"I'm almost all you wanted" ::snork:: thanks, Sandy

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

Frseel, it's probably Rajpal.
Love the commentary!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLM

Being in love with anything that has to do with ancient Egypt, I lost it when I got to the Buzzankhamun cake. @frseel - maybe the wreckorator didn't know how to spell Raphael and thought, "eh, close enough."

And concerning the Dora/SpongeBob lovechild cake: what the heck is a 3 Lily Birthday? Is that the number of flowers one gets?

I've been reading this site too long also because I also thought "Poor 2nd Cole". Did 1st Cole get a better cake or did he get Minnie Measles?

Bravo, Sharyn, Bravo. I nearly spit out my water at the Mickey Mouse song parody.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoeMama

The last cake looks more like "Where's Waldo" rather than Cat in the Hat?! Maybe I'm giving too much credit to the wreckerator!!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlana

Oh, can't breathe...Sharyn, you've done it again! No immunity Mickey! I am going to share this with all my artist friends (fiends?). I know a few illustrators, one even worked in Hollywood - on the movie Avatar. Yeah, that's the limit of my "six degrees of"...whatever.

@Sandy: are you taking lessons from Sharyn? Sharyn, how much are you charging for your "Weird Al" lyricism classes?

and yes, I ALSO WILL be back later to check out mel's response

LOL

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Do they still have to pay licensing fees on these? Or is this the wreckerator's way of getting around that?

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Dear Mr. Potato Head,

Thank you for your recent, dusty missive concerning Bad Enough Baking Schools. We hope your remodeling project is going well, and offer a word of advice about your architects. Our past dealings with Frank and Lloyd have rarely gone right. We strongly suggest you invest in an independent plumbing consultation, or your offices will probably have some issues with falling water.

Now, concerning your client’s interest in Bad Enough Baking School: Please send us a concrete offer, and we’ll see whether it stacks up or is half-baked. In the interest of full disclosure, let me warn you we’re currently involved in a Trade Name Infringement lawsuit with Badenov Bakeries (Makers of fine “Mousse and Swirl” cakes since 1969) and are feeling pretty battered. Perhaps you would be willing to help us resolve that case? I’m sure with your help we could whip it quickly.

We look forward to receiving your offer.

Ima Schei-Sterr, Partner
Crooks and Crooks Law Firm

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

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