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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar132012

Politically Correct Leprechauns

In a groundbreaking move to unite the world under the banners of multiculturalism and type 2 diabetes, the bakers of America have released the following new designs for their St. Patrick's "Leprechaun Line." Enjoy.

 

"Cee Lo Green Sees Mo' Green"

"I see you driving 'round town with the gold I love, and I'm like, F*&@% YOU, I'M A *&%#'n LEPRECHAUN NOW GIVE IT BACK."

 

"The Rabbi Rabble Rousers"

"Kiss me, I'm wearing a yarmulke!"

 

"Luigi the Irish Plumber"

"Psst. Hey. I'll trade you some purple horseshoes for more spotted mushrooms. THEY'RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUS AND I WANT TO SEE MORE RAINBOWS."

 

Or, for a one-size-fits-all option, there's:

"Colin, the Tap-Dancing Cheeto"

[tappity-tap-tap-tap!]

Aaaand...

*JAZZ STUMPS!*

 

Hey, Juliet R., Dan B., & Emma D., ya feelin' lucky, punks? Well, are ya?

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Reader Comments (66)

*jazz stumps* Brilliant !!!
Thanks, Jen, for my morning snort-and-try-not-to-spew-coffee.
That first cake, though...... *shudder* .... i think the cake wants to eat people.....

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrinimum

Do the people who make these even KNOW what they are celebrating??

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Those examples in the 2nd picture - Leprecohens? Too tacky?

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJT

Oh gosh, the cheeto got me!! I snorted out loud on that one! Glad nobody else was in my office this morning!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmbeedee

As a musical theatre person "Jazz Stumps" just made my morning....

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKat

...said one of the "The Rabbi Rabble Rousers":

"Oy vey, where are my eyebrows?"

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergarth

Colin the tap dancing Cheeto - OMG, I should KNOW better than to be drinking something when I read this blog!

I can't wait to see if there are any "Ides of March" cakes come Thursday!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermiladyblue

*** Jazz stumps! *** Oh dear lord, thankfully I left my cup of tea in the kitchen or I would have ruined the computer! Freaking BRILLIANT!!!!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

Cheeto's magic bulge.
Is it in front or in back?
Hard question, that one.


~~~
GrnEyes6, I didn't get to tell you yesterday, but your haiku for the Angry Birds was excellent. Well-done, little nonscary haiku monster!
~~~

Prediction of Sunshine Mary's comment:

The last one looks so happy despite his shortcomings! We should all be like him!

Alternatively:

I'm glad I live in a world where these cakes are possible! Some people don't get to live in that world, and we should be thankful!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

...said one of the "The Rabbi Rabble Rousers":

"Oy vey, where are my eyebrows?"

Dont forget, he's missing his mouth, too!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterobxbride

You gotta admit one thing, for a CCC that's actually not all that bad.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

PS. I mean #3, the Luigi one.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

JAZZ STUMPS!!!!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmbarrassed Iris

Holy cow, funniest post in quite awhile! Great stuff, "jazz stumps"!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterroxy

Oh.WOW. That first cake looks like an evil cross (is there another kind) between a goblin. leprechaun and the scarecrow (or at least his straw!) from Wizard of Oz. The next two cakes just make me wonder what flesh-colored frosting tastes like....(is that wrong?)

Dancing Cheeto! Love the jazz stumps, just TOO hilarious!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Hmmmm, once again, except the rabbis, they're all cupcake cakes!
Did anyone else notice that on the last one there's a little pump sticking out under the black outline? Insert immature comment here.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

Are we sure #1 is not part werewolf?
ot that that could make it any scarier.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I managed to suppress my giggles of amusement up until the "Jazz Stumps!" and then lost it. Thanks for making my title of Office Lunatic still stand! :D

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H

St. Patrick is credited with banishing all the snakes in Ireland by driving them into the sea, but that's actually not the case. A few manage to find their way back onto the island every year. To keep these snakes from overrunning their country, the Irish came up with a secondary line of defense. Each year, enterprising wreckerators spring into action, creating an array of cakes so awful the remaining snakes die laughing. While it has proven to be a workable strategy for controlling the snake population, the psychological damage to the human population was devastating. Then, researchers discovered consuming large quantities of beer -- often fortified with green nutritional supplements -- effectively cushioned the populace from the worst of the psychological ravages, and beer became the traditional drink to celebrate/survive St. Patrick's Day. What no one predicted was the thriving snack industry that sprang up to provide munchies to help wash down all that medicinal beer. The snack industry is now almost as famous as St. Patrick's Day itself. Its mascot is Colin, the Tap-Dancing Cheeto, often depicted with his sidekick, St. Funyun. (Thank goodness for Wikipedia...)

*JAZZ STUMPS!*

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

"Jazz Stumps"
GENIUS!!!!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@Haiku Joy - I wonder about the cheeto's pants bulge as well!! :) LOL

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

*snickers* Jazz stumps... nice.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Oh. My. Gosh. It was all I could do to suppress bursting out laughing in my cubicle after I read the "Jazz Stumps"! Jen, you outdid yourself today. Brilliant as always.

The other cakes make me shudder a little.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

Before I read the caption on #3, I thought it looked like one of the dwarves from Lord of the RIngs.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Are some of the Rabbi's also wearing a white flower?

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Jazz Stumps almost made me pee myself.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

@ marilyn

inserting some immature fact that to kiss the blarney stone, you gotta get down and crawl into a hole.
PASS.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

"Jazz stumps" for the win! ROTFL!!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

particularly hilarious today! Love it!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterramalama

"I see you driving 'round town with the gold I love, and I'm like, F*&@% YOU, I'M A *&%#'n LEPRECHAUN NOW GIVE IT BACK."

---Ahahahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahaaa! *wipes away tears OFJOY!*

@ drgns4vr: Teen Wolf: The Leprechaun Years...What was spawned on a foreign exchange trip to Ireland!

@ Sharyn: Brilliant, as usual!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I think that first wreck is just PO'd because Warwick Davis nixed it as an extra in the third "Leprechaun" sequel...

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The little cheeto dude just looks so happy.....he clearly is not deterred by the stumps.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterquisty0174

Alternatively, St. Patrick at first thought his mission was to drive the snacks out of Ireland (much like some are trying to do in America today). When he realized his mistake, early wreckerators sprang into action to restore the supply as quickly as possible. Today's wreckerators continue this fine (?) tradition.

#1 An evil teddy bear (is there any other kind?) in a gold turtleneck, or a steak decorated with Cheez Whiz and bits of pepperoni. BTW, 'Cee Lo Green' is a Favorite Fetch on the Dogpile search engine right now. I wonder why. ;-)

#2 I can't see any other explanation for these than 'Rabbi Rabble Rousers.'

#3 Or Luigi. Love the charming 8-bit cupcake rendering. CCCs always bring words like 'rendering' to mind, for some reason.

#4 This little guy is celebrating "St. Patricks Day". The tradition was started by John St. Patrick, who drove the apostrophes out of America.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

If you had leprosy of your right ear and gangrene in your scalp (like the first example), you'd be nonplussed too.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Dea Jen:
You Should make a tumblr!!! It would be so fun! I wouldn't have to think of interesting posts, because I could just reblog all of cake wrecks!!!!!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

That first one, I've seen that expression somewhere before, on a trade mark or something before... But I can't quite place it...

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

# Bea.....I think it's Yoda....yep....Yoda

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

That is by far the happiest tap-dancing Cheeto I've ever seen... and I don't mean that in a weird "he's got some sort of dongle" way, I mean it in a sweet "look at that great smile" way. Though, upon closer inspection...

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Does anyone else this part "I see you driving 'round town with the gold I love, and I'm like, F*&@% YOU, I'M A *&%#'n LEPRECHAUN NOW GIVE IT BACK." remind of the song "F**k you" by Cee-Lo Green? (WARNING: ear worm)

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNight Owl

@ Craig -- Snakes, snacks. I always get those confused. Your version makes as much sense as mine.

Did Mr. St. Patrick drive all the apostrophes out of America, or simply encourage them to hide in inappropriate words?

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Jazz stumps? What does that mean?

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterted

Well, that first one does take the cute and friendly trope out of the leprechaun image and return to the original crafty/evil, to be feared and avoided image. I think I prefer cute and friendly.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

I love this blog. I have always loved this blog. And I like Colin the tap dancing Cheeto! :)

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermalapeanut

@ Linda, I don't think it's Yoda. Maybe I'm thinking of those Grateful Dead bears.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I am a little disturbed by what is going on south of the equator and outside the lines on that last one... HEED, DOWN NOW!!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Jen, you're sense of humor is awesome. I am putting "Jazz Stumps" in my list of favorite Wrecky quotes.

@ Night Owl - I think that was the point

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Is it just me or is there a jack ( like the metal toy ) on the Luigi cake?

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

@Sharyn,

The apostrophes took to hiding in such places as collective nouns and non-possessive plurals in an attempt to escape detection. Unfortunately, the confusion thus created merely provided aid and comfort to those seeking an outright ban.

BTW, I nominate Theardare the apocalypse cat to be the official mascot of DOC.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Colin, the tap dancing Cheeto, is totally holding a pot o' poo, not a pot o' gold!

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

But Anna, to someone suffering one of the many faces of constipation, a pot of poo is totally a pot of gold.

March 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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