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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Castle Came-A-Lot

Making a castle cake?

Then here's a tip (or seven):

Photo removed at the baker's request.  Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot.

Always use protection.

As you can see, King Richard erected a castle here so safe it's absolutely guaranteed that nothing comes in OR out, no matter how hard the wind blows.



John: "Uh, Jen, it was King Arthur, not King Richard."

Me: [deadpan stare]

John: "Oh! Ahahahaa! Ok, I like where your head's at."

Me: "Tell it to King Richard, dude."


A seven turret salute to Sarah for finding a cake where the rubber meets the moat. 

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Reader Comments (146)

@diddleymaz... And how many female Allisons(Alice's son), Shirleys, and Marions do you know? I know at least twenty(including both me and my mother).

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

@mel - perfection!

This is quite the giggle-induser, which is probably not what King Richard was aiming for..

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

@Bea -- The Friendly Giant fair takes me back, that does. It was on a UHF station in southern Cal that required a lot of fiddling with dials to receive. "Look up and see the big boot..."

There was a King Richard the Lionheart in actual history, if memory serves. Not that I remember actual history that far back, but I remember reading about him. [Checks Wikipedia]

Yes, some *perfectly innocent* wreckerator put a lot of time and effort into creating something innocently perfect. Right. One sees so many pink castles with shiny, un-turrety turrets that are a darker shade of pink. Would this be the same person who created the Fireman Cake, by chance? At least it doesn't have a fountain.

I just hope Aubrie is at least 18 21.

Now playing on the mental soundtrack: David Gates. Make it stop.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

That is quite the pink castle! Very erect indeed!! Snicker!!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisy H

I wonder if the "towers" can be used as vibrators? They come in so many sizes!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenise G

I think this is the cockiest post yet!

If they made it purple and replaced the flags with rainbow ones, they could really expand their market!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

That. Is. AWESOME.
Anyone have a Bachelorette Party come-ing up?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMags

I know you said King Richard, but I keep thinking of Lancelot...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAth

Haha first thing I thought of was Dirk Diggler haha

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKymiesun

oooooh, a Marvin Lee Aday reference! Thanks, Jen!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

That cake suffers from Turrets syndrome.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnndii

@keltikat My name is Marion!! and I am female its a female name a diminuative of Mary of early maedieval Italian origin
Alison is a female name and means noble bred Allison is a surname not a first name .
Shirley is the name of several places in the UK and as such was pre Bronte Sisters book of the same name an unusual male name it then became a relativley popular female name and as such could be used for either.
Aubrey means king of the fairies and as such is meant to be a mans name,
PS we have had 3 King Richards , and I am a suporter of King Richard III victim of the propaganda of the Tudor dynasty that overthrew him. Richard II was the Black Princes son overthrown by Henry IV and youve all heard of Richard the Lion Heart who spent most of his time away from England.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Good thing those are flags and not balloons.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

Someday, my son, all this will be yours.

What, the curtains??

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

If this cake lasts longer than 4 hours, please consult a physician.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimi22

Bet that took a long time to ERECT! Bwahaha!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBabs/cakelady

My little daughter, age 4 1/2 looked at this cake and said, "Can I have a cake like that for my birthday?" Well sweetheart, no, but I might try to make a pink castle that won't make the parents at the party wonder "What was she thinking?" I'm just glad she can't read yet and wouldn't have gotten the comments even if she could. I'm just hoping that Aubrie was still in that oblivious innocence stage of life.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Thanks, I needed that. =D

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIggy

blush: imagine the expression of the faces of the other moms at the party???

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodi


April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueT

Bwahahahahah.... Thanks Andrea.... totally singing AC/DC now!!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Well...either somebody is overcompensating or somebody has "tower" envy....
And at least it wasn't blue....that's a whole other ball of.....uhhhh hidden treasure...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

@ Tricia..."The baker nailed it!" Bwahahahahahaha!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmyM

Ahhh yes. The pink penis palace. I'd hate to see the king's crown

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrach

and all i can think of is Miracle Max from The Princess Bride...

"Bye boys...have fun storming the castle!"

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNancyJ

Are you sure that's not the Castle Anthrax? ..."The beds here are warm and soft... and very, very big."

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermisslissa

So few cakes these days are ribbed for her pleasure.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertommyboy

Me thinks King Richard may have been over compensating for something!

Sorry, my little dud was just watching Shrek this morning...and this just seemed like the perfect time to use that one! :)

Thanks for the laugh!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara

As if the cake wasn't funny enough, the conversation between you and John really "took the cake" *ba-dum-tisshhhhhhhh*

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTheblackdog


April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjillybean

I have almost posted so many comments today, but I just couldn't do it. Everything I think of is far too rude. So I will simply point out that almost every tower has a heart on it.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

My three year old says that's not funny at all. It's beautiful. It has hearts!

(She also reprimanded me sternly for the ensuing hysterical laughter.)

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAce

Oh Poor King Richard of Came-a-lot
He seemed to be off of his game a lot.
Seven towers erect
Did his problem correct.
Now he need not hang his head in shame a lot.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeneric

I saw this post and had to laugh because my sister (who is not at all a professional cake decorator, but gives it a go when it comes to making her kids' birthday cakes fun) just made a castle cake for my niece's 12th birthday to take to school. Her cake doesn't look anything like this, but it also couldn't be used in an ad for Trojan, so I call it a win.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLela

@Salaanb - "E-Wreck-tion." I am dying.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

Those, um, turrets wouldn't happen to be, say, slightly re-shaped twinkies, would they?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

As a mother of twin daughters (who are just starting to enter that drama-filled land known as The Tween Years), I find myself hoping that Aubrie was still young and innocent enough to squeal at her shiny pink castle cake. Now the grownups...I can just see them snorting behind their hands. Are those actual CONDOMS?!?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Naomi - I had the same question! What about those top 3??

@ Mel - So funny, you deserve a knighthood!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMickey

John: "Oh! Ahahahaa! Ok, I like where your head's at."


Must stop studying psychoanalyst theorists before coming to Cake Wrecks.
Otherwise, EVERYTHING becomes a Freudian slip.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBon

A pepto pink phallic palace. King Richard must be whistling that catchy "extendz" tune.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney R.

My favorite part is when the hunchback goes up to the highest tower in that castle and just rings the bell for all he's worth!

DONG..... DONG..... DONG.....

Yep, it's just magical.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEric

OH dear. Guess what I just finished? Yep. Castle cake w/8 errrr, turrets. No they really DO look like turrets!!!! Well, at least I think they do. Ok, going back to check. Nope they're definitely turrets. I hope.

True confession time...I didn't get it at first. Until I got to Lynne's "painful" comment. Yep, I'm slow. And old. And really really busy making TURRETS!!! Really.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffyGrannyHeifer

It could be worse.

They could have put balloons instead of flags.

You know, those classic wreckerator balloons that look like....

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScott

Dang, I hoped someone remembered the batteries!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBethieofVA

At first I thought they were diaphragms.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThePinkSheep

I am SOo.. saving this idea for a suitable "girls night" party.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNeroli

I have castle envy in seven different sizes! :-D

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterUTstatsgirl

So THAT'S where my diaphragm could have left a note!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDina

Great merciful heavens. That's just...I mean...really? For a cake? Ewwww...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwhowillibetoday

Birthday Game That's Out: Pin the Tail on the Donkey
Birthday Game that's in: Pin the Flag on the Tip (or more affectionately called "Just the Tip").

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

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