My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Be Our Guest

Cakes so full of grime


Possibly diseased


Oozing from both ends!

These could kill your friends...


Just a little mange


Y'all come for the feast!


What’s that over there?

Dirty underwear?

Who would pay for these?


Everyone’s the same

Spongebob in disguuuuise!


We should tell the store

Sometimes less is more

Those cows hurt MY EYES.


These cakes are a crime


Misery prolonged


Sticky, green and strange!

Makes you feel deranged

These are just so wrong.


Certainly this one

Has infected yeast


Festering, with slime

These cakes are a crime

Who would pay for these?

Festering, with slime

These cakes are a crime

Who would pay.... for theeese?


(Off to the Dumpster with you now, cakes. It’s past your sell time.)


Thanks to Chloe, Louise F., Megan P., Anony M., Eric P., Pete & Erika , Anna S., Tiffany S., Ashlee M., Joanna B., Hannah C., Chani, & Mona S., who recommend skipping the gray stuff this time.


*Made by the awesome Jennifer Lewis of The Connoisseurs. Check out the making of here.

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Reader Comments (81)

Another Disney song "wrecked" by your rewritten lyrics. I love it!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKen D.

that was perfection. especially when read with mrs. potts' voice in my head.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterslartibartfast


September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNewb

Absolutely awesome, in a horrifying sort of way. I love the song-based posts!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Brilliant lyrics!

But the cakes? Where the heck's the eye bleach?! GAG

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

That was simply amazing! A great start to my day! :) It's my husband's birthday today... hopefully we don't get anything like this.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

For anyone wondering the provenience of the catfish cake, that is a work by our dear Artist-in-residence Jennifer Lewis at
For the whole story, check out the making-of here
And for more amusing and educational articles on food, drink, and entertainment, please check us out at or follow us on Twitter ( @theconnoisseurs ) or Facebook.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConnoisseur Tom

I am trying to understand why you would have a "congatulations" cake that is internal organs?? Was Drew constipated and he finally made a poopey or was his family shocked that he wasnt an alien after some surgery....Baffled.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephi

None offends like these cakes,
Gives the bends like these cakes,
Makes depictions of human rear ends like these cakes.
There as sick’ning as old rotting garbage,
Medical waste and such muck.
Old entrails on these cakes,
Bloody trails on these cakes,
Can’t believe there are so many fails on these cakes.
They’re the worst of in the long line of Wreckorating.
I can’t stand to look at these cakes…

With apologies to Jen, Sharyn, and Alan Menken andHoward Ashman.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

WE ARE SURE YOU'LL FIND THEM PURE (or at least more or less)
TRY THE GREY STUFF (It's horrendous!)
THEY CAN SCREAM THEY CAN DANCE (After all, guys, this is Cake Wrecks!)

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHannah A

Haha! Haha! Ha-HURL....omgosh Even with a rare weekday breakfast of bacon, pancakes and eggs awaiting, My appetite = GONE

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Those rusty colored "panties" cake is actually a Burnt Orange Longhorn, mascot of UT in Austin.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

Why put grapes with a fish? It brings eggs to mind.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleyMcFaceandPants

Who knew Beauty and the Beast's soundtrack was so versatile? :)

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Okay. The fish one. I know you'd be horrified if you had it put in front of you, but it's at least well made. The rest of them - SWEET MARY MOTHER OF INTERNAL ORGANS!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

My eyes,my eyes DX DX Sharyn, you amuse as always

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Can't sleep... The Poo Monkey and Noseless Belle will get me... Can't sleep... Can't sleep...

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Oh my gosh...that was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are flipping geniuses with your song rewrites!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

the "dirty underwear" is most likely trying to be the University of Texas logo the Longhorn...I know this because I am from Texas and have seen many botched tattoos and cakes/cookies trying to be this symbol. here is a link:

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa @ travelmiamor

I almost admire the cakes that are icky on purpose. I suspect that the fish and liver-stomach-intestines were EXACTLY what the customer wanted

Also I hate you a little - that song is going to earworm me all day.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

Must report all of these 'cakes' to the department of health, not to mention the bakers themselves.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanet in NYC

Thanks for that - I was about to shuffle off to the kitchen for a little something but now I've gone off the idea for some reason....
Is it wrong that I quite like the catfish cake?

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I'm not sure that I ever want to eat cake again.. For that matter, think that I've lost my appetite entirely. Yuck.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I actually liked the spawning blue catfish cake. It was awesome, and would be perfect for my son.

However, the 2nd-to-last one with the horrible gray giant grub-things had me wondering WTF??

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

No-thing icks like these wrecks
Nothing squicks like these wrecks
Nothing makes your face go into tics like these wrecks
These cakes are renowned for the wreckorating
Oh me oh my, these wrecks!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

I especially like how the baker used cheese slices for Belle's hands!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The catfish cake is amazing, and the tapioca pearls are inspired (though I thought they were grapes at first). But, yeah, not something I'd want to encounter in the average bakery case.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I like the catfish mother with eggs.. Sorta sweet and well made. The others ?? WHY OH WHY?!!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpeg

What this REALLY reminds me of is the "literal video version" of "Total Eclipse of the Heart."
You can thank me later. :-)

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

*Applause* Spot on! Well done!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLis

Sharyn, as I sang through today's brilliant post I knew early on that this was your work. Then when I got to the end and saw your name there I actually squealed a bit in delight for you. That's got to be like seeing your name in lights for a CW fan! Well done!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I think some of those are props for the Dr. Oz show. I'm donning my purple gloves just in case.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I am so glad they wrote "grillin time" on the infected yeast cake. I thought the item on the right was a uterus with an IUD.

I lived in Texas for 2 years and saw the Longhorn logo everywhere. I did not recognize it here in that cake.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

HAHA, the grilling cake, should've said "Yay for IUD's!" OMG!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVixen

I'm laughing so hard at work I'm crying. Just imagining Ms. Potts singing this song.... the cakes are absolutely puke-inducing but I can't stop laughing.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertyrantduck

Well, those are images that I'll never be able to scrub from my mind...

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Fabulous lyrics!

Also, that Belle cake looks like Roger from American Dad.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNavy Jones

wait a minute...WOW! One of my pics actually made it up there! I took it forever ago but holy moly, what a freakin honor!

Megan P.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertyrantduck

I thought the catfish cake was freaking amazing! And the story (as provided byConnoisseur Tom) behind it is brilliant! Kudos to the chef!

Okay so maybe it is not everyone's idea of awesome but this biologist thought it was perfect. :)

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

Blechhhh! Just had my lunch. But my tummy is bouncing around due to singing along with the song and laughing at the same time. Yes, I too, can multitask!!! :) Expecting more of this....say to a song from The Jungle Book? Or Finding Nemo? Just sayin'. Thanks peeps!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeemawof11

I look at these cakes and ask myself...


The fish was actually well done but still...


September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Those pig-cows look like the Swine-Things from The House on the Borderland.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAaron

I had to read today's post twice. Once to sing Beauty And The Beast with the new lyrics without messing up the cadence, and once to actually pause and look at the cakes. So, thanks a lot Sharyn. You (and possibly a small amount of musical OCD) forced me to live through this post two consecutive times.

Cows are my favorite animal but seeing them wrecked and moldy/on a rusty grill just makes me sad.

That poor fish...

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGennyDiggory

Long time reader, first time comment. Made me laugh so hard, I woke up the baby!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Willis

I have been visiting this site daily for a long time and have never lost my appetite, not even through the slightly-too-realistic embryo cakes. And even today I was doing fine as I ate my leftover meatloaf until I got to the infected urinary tract and the mention of yeast. Hurk! I didn't need to finish my lunch anyway. Where's the pepto?

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMom A

These are just... gack!

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjinx

ah I really though the "cow" cakes were petri dishes with cultures growing until I looked closely.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindo

Sharyn, brilliant post! Commenters - brilliant mash-ups! The only problem I have now is that Gaston's song is an earworm I can't get rid of...

As for today's cakes, with the possible exception of the catfish - urgh.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

CHANI?!?! What Chani is this, that has contributed to this post? It's rare for me to see my name, so I got super excited!

Great post. Loved it. Sang it in my head. Very well done. :)

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChani

The only thing I've got for the first cake is maybe Drew just finished his surgical residency, in which case, well done. Otherwise....
Everything else.... BLECH! I may never grill again.

September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

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