My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Armed To The Tea

Have you ever wandered through a bakery and thought, "Man, I could really go for a cake shaped like an arm holding a cup of hair right now"?

Well if so, then YOU are a very disturbed individual. Seriously. Maybe you should talk to someone.

But also, you're in luck!

Now, I know what you're thinking, and I completely agree. TOTALLY. But where would we even get a robot monkey at this hour? 

You may also be wondering where the hair is.

There it is!

("I see...THE GRIM. And he's shedding like crazy.")

I'd say it looks like someone plucked out their mustache, but only because there are children present and I wouldn't want this to get too...public. (HI, KIDS.) I'd also go out on a limb and say this baker has single-handedly created the most disarming assault on the funny bone yet - but only because puns make me snort-giggle.

But in case that's not enough hair for you, fear not; there's more!


Er, I about a hairy situation that must have taken a lot of elbow grease! Haha!

K, I think that's all I've got. SO, let the Professor Trelawney jokes...begin.


Thanks to Julia for reminding us of our universal right to bare arms. (Ok, that's the last one. Promise.)

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Reader Comments (54)

I'm kind of intrigued by that one single arm hair. Is that a characteristic of fortune tellers? When children are born, is that how they can tell they have the "gift"? Does having that one hair on your arm thus enable you to predict the future from a cup full of hair?

Oh wait. This is a CAKE. Then it's just kinda gross.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Yet the sea themed cake beside it looks lovely! It's like the baker has some sort of Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde complex and swings from one extreme to another.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

Jen, thank's for this morning's Grimm Hairy Tale. You'll be happy to know your plan worked and I DID read "public" as "pubic." (Nice touch...)


Sung to "The Addam's Family Theme Song"

It's creepy and it's spooky
And all that hair is ooky
Plus, drinking tea is kooky
When you're dis-em-bodied...

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Wow, Jen, you really *nailed* this one. But, that cake must have cost an *arm* and a leg!

*high five*

(I am so sorry. It's early and I am not really awake. This makes me feel brilliant and inspired. Not a good combination on so little coffee...)

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The Old Tonsorial Way
Tricheomancy is a divination
or fortune telling method that interprets patterns
in loose strands of hair. has a simple seven step method for practicing tricheomancy;
1. Make a cup of tea.
2.Steep your tea and quiet your mind.
3 Sip your tea while you find your focus.
4.Swirl tea three (3) times and empty cup.
5 Rub the tealess cup over a particularly hairy part of your body.
6.Identify symbols and jot them down. What you think you see is entirely up to you.
7.Create your tea leaf reading. What you think what you saw means-also entirely up to you.

Alternate method:
Skip steps 1 through 4.
Go directly to step 5 if you like that sort of thing.
Skip steps 6 and 7.
Make up some crap about your future.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I like thinking that maybe this was Professor Trelawney's revenge on Umbridge--here, Madame Inquisitor, have a cup of tea...whack! Bwahahahahahahaha!

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCDN

May it be gone tomorrow.....

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

I think so, Jen, but
it's a miracle that this
one ever grew back!


February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Ewww. That's a pretty gross cake.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Is this a wreck or a really creepy choice of subject matter? Okay, so it is a bit wrecky too, but mostly creepy.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRikki


February 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercraftycassie

Blech. Maybe they're supposed to be tea leaves. Do gypsies read tea leaves at the bottom of cups...? I've got nothing on that arm hair though.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLee

@HaikuJoy - *claps with glee at P&tB reference*
*ahem* Well then...

My first thought was that is a mighty meaty arm.

My other thought was that I thought those looked like squished spiders in the cup.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Grimms don't characteristically shed. Maybe it was a Blutbaad she saw?

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

At least her nails are clean...if somewhat disturbingly square...

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

Of course they're not supposed to be tea leaves, lee. I mean what could possibly lead u to that conclusion? Other than the text at the base of the arm saying "tea leaves". :P

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDavid from Brazil

They're tea leaves. Not all that bad a cake actually.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The hair in the cup was bad enough. Then I saw... the arm... hair...



February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

What possible occasion could call for such a cake DX I don't even want to know...

Sharyn and Haiku joy BRILLIANT

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

You know, Jen, you really shouldn't be thumbing your nose at those who read tea leaves to predict the future. Some poor souls have to arm themselves with whatever information they can get before they knuckle down and face the perils of what lies ahead. And sometimes, these fortune tellers can nail it perfectly -- especially if they also do palm reading.

So while we're wristling with this issue, let's give a hand to those who try. Like this wreckerator. Although I hate to tell this person, the reason everyone is elbowing each other to get a better look at this . . . . cake . . . . . is NOT because it's so well done.

Few can shoulder the responsibility of being a wreckerator.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

If I'm not mistaken, the leaves say, "There is ice cream in your future."

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

I saw spiders as well. :P

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I, WAS drinking a cup of tea while looking at this. I'm scared as to what I'll find in the bottom of the cup if I finish it...
What is really bothering me is that singular arm hair - what did they make it out of? I can think of nothing edible that looks like an arm what was used? Hurk....

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Bea, allow me to serve you some . . . ladyfingers.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

If there's hair in the cup, does that mean it was brewed in a hairy pot? Er.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

What disturbed me the most was the little veins painted on the arm. What baker takes the time to paint micro-veins and insert a SINGLE arm hair? The whole thing makes me wonder if the baker wasn't a REAL gypsy, and whether this "cake" isn't ACTUALLY a real arm. {Shiver}

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTK421

Long time lurker, first post.
Could it be there's only one arm hair 'cause she plucked the rest to make the tea? Yuck!!

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDSA

@Haiku Joy, so much love for Pinky and the Brain. I even read that in Pinky's voice!

As for the cake. Just...idk....ewww. The tea leaves look like insect remains and and single hair? Really?

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMary

@ SuBee: I'm totally picturing teacups being rubbed in all the wrong places. Thanks for that.

Also, I'm entering the iron stomach race: I managed to eat my veggie burrito while reading this post and all of the comments. Only a slight gag reflex on the single arm hair picture :)

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMom A


February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

The arm hair reminded me of the scene in The Fly when the fly hairs start growing out of his back.


February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Psst... Jen: Grim has only one "M".

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCyberjar88

Ummm... I thought that was a real hand when I first saw the picture! That's entirely too real looking to want to eat. I swear these realistic people cakes are for cannibals.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

The armhair looks like a fly leg stuck in the frosting!

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkat

The armhair looks like a fly leg stuck in the frosting!

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkat

I think that cake is AWESOME! It's weird & cweepy in a funny "What the ???" way. And you know nobody will ever forget it!

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterP.U.

Although the arm (and arm hair - singular) are pretty gross, oddly enough the tea leaves in the cup do actually kind of look like what tea leaves look like if you're going to do a reading. My mother used to do it occasionally - she only knew what a few of the shapes meant, but it was fun to guess.

Still a weird subject for a cake, unless maybe you're having a tea party. Or opening a gypsy tea room.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbW

was this the student that Prof. Trelawney predicted would die this year?

and EWWWW on that arm hair.... that's the one that got me running to the BR!! :O

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSueP

Someone went to a lot of trouble on this. Check the fine hairs in the upper left. When something looks this lifelike even in extreme close-up, other possibilities start lining up to come into mind...

> There's an incredibly patient person under the table.
> The -- almost hate to call him or her a 'wreckorator' -- really ought not to be confined by the cake medium (that wasn't intentional, really) and should look into sculpture. Or perhaps creating anatomical models for medical schools.
> Might want to think about calling 911...

I have to hand it to this person, though. I mean, who could have foreseen something like this? The person who made this has a bright future -- he or she could make a fortune.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

That arm hair doesn't look painted on. It looks like actual fuzz, as if someone brushed up against it while wearing a fuzzy sweater. Don't care if it was intentional, that is just disgusting.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I used to have a robot monkey.

the Old Gypsy Woman is sporting a manicure better than my current one. wow.
also, those knuckles have proper wrinkles. so, there's some skills going on here. NOT impressed with the wonky tea cup...

@TLC wooooo hooooooo you pulled a "mel!"

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Yeah, that arm looks like it's actually covered in pet hairs. Yacky.

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAllison C

As a tealeaf reader, I somehow feel outclassed by this cake. I'll never match its, um, presence.

It's tricky without seeing the whole cup, but it looks like rediscovering your passion and what brings fun into your life, and that opening doors to new experiences. There's a heart there but I'm not convinced it means romance so much as a general love for life.

Aaaand, I just read the leaves in a picture of a creepy fake cup made of food. Nope, I'm not weird at all. 0.o

February 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlverdine

Oh heck.. I really thought the leaves were itty bitty spiders..and I still am freaked out lol. Ugh just the thought makes me never want to drink tea again. Or eat cake. Who on earth wanted a cake like this one?

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Oh. My. Gawd. I think I actually heard my skin crawl when I saw the one arm hair. Ick *shiver*

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCara

But where can we get rubber pants at this time of night?

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie L.

Alverdine, you are my hero!!

As an avid tea drinker and lover of all things divination this cake makes me cry in so many ways!

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNewbie

BarbW & Alverdine - you're kidding. What type of tea are you using? I was brought up (in the UK) on tea made with leaves, no strainer. There were always leaves at the bottom of the cup, but they never looked anything like that. Do tea leaf readers use a special type?

I'd like to know what that cup is made of. If it's food, how is it so thin? If it's not edible, why does it look so bad?

As for the sea cake - those look like real shells to me. Yum, yum! I just hope the 'sand' is sugar.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I just wanted to say thank you for referencing Harry Potter. That made my morning. :)

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

@DSA - hahahahahaha!!! Great first comment, keep em coming!

@Tracy - thanks for the Stephen King reference! I was totally thinking about that book!

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFlower Girl

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