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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan062014

All Intensive Purposes

It turns out there are some expressions people get wrong ALOT.

So as a public service, here's an easy guide to help you use those phrases correctly. After all, we'd hate to see you...

...hoisted by your own Picard.

[*snerk*]

Let's begin!

 

An irrelevant argument is a "moot point."

Whereas a cow giving directions is a "moo point."

 

When you want to end something before it has a chance to start, you "nip it in the bud."

Not the butt. And technically, I think those should be snipped.

(While we're at it, it's the "repository of knowledge," NOT "suppository.")

 

It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."
But if you're still confused, try drawing a picture:

See how visuals can clear things up?

 

While we're on the subject, it's "exact" revenge, not "extract."

Either way, though, mission accomplished.

 

Never use "irregardless."

...unless it's part of the sentence, "Though she knew it would make her guests sick, she ordered the ear, regardless."

 

The old-fashioned curse is pronounced "doggone."
So try to avoid any versions rated "Arf."

Bow chicka BOW WOW.

 

And finally, when you really mess something up, you "wreak havoc," not "wreck" it.

o_O

Or on second thought, "wreck havoc" is perfect.

 

Thanks to Kelli G., Nikki D., Jenny C., Sherrie, Kathy S., Anony M., Megan N., and Frank W., who we would NEVER take for granite.

 

Note from john (thoJ)- We are aware that "ALOT" is wrong. It was a grammatical error joke in a grammatical error post. We even made it a link to the very funny Hyperbole and a Half post so people would know we were kidding. Have a nice night.

« I Think She Begs To Differ | Main | Sunday Sweets For Roy G. Biv »

Reader Comments (71)

"Moo point. It's like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter."

-Joey (Friends)

The rest are just nightmare inducing.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

BWEE-HEE-HEE!! The grammar nazi in me is pleased by this post. The cake-lover in me is recoiling slightly in horror that someone thought these were good ideas. Also, yay for Hyperbole and a Half!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

http://youtu.be/cvzMON2dZMs

Ha, I totally heard in my head the "Let's begin!" as if Professor Elemental were saying it from Quest for the Golden Frog... (link is the song, may be very mildly NSFW if your coworkers dont like silly references to absinthe and such). Jen, I hope you're a Professor fan...

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDragonBait

These cakes make me want to curl up into the feeble position!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

@Fluffy Cow: I just saw that episode a few weeks ago. About lost it on that line.

Double yay for Hyperbole and a Half. My favorite is the Alot of Beer Cans.

I have always wanted a topsy-turvy cake. Until I saw that last one.

And that "boldly go" cake: Do I want to know what inspired someone to add those projectiles? No, on second thought, I just. . . . don't.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

This is my favorite Cake Wrecks post EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First, I'm glad you included my favorite pet peeve, when people say "I could care less."
Second, perfect pictures and use of wrecks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Third, How on earth did you ever figure out that was supposed to be a cow?!?!
And finally, Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Sad to admit that for years I thought it was "for all intensive purposes" until one day I saw it written down in a book...

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDNA

What on earth, how some people thought of these is beyond me O_o although the science dork in me kind of likes the brain(cringes)

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I really want to see the "request" picture for that last cake. Topsy-turvy becomes flopsy-scurvy with that one!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

“Bow chicka BOW WOW” – Stewie at the race track?

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMinkybink

as a grammar geek, I love, love, love this...! thanks for the laughter (which also helped warm me up...it's minus 14 here right now... excuse me while I go turn the heat up.....)

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Yes, my inner grammar Nazi thanks you. But what on earth is that second one supposed to be? Why are all those straws coming out of a cake butt???

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

What on Earth is that thing next to the brain?? It looks like a male organ. I think. I don't want it to be.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAggiedog

Have a Dog Dong Day is going to make me giggle all day.
At least until I think about the melting brain O.O

Thanks Team!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

The first one is actually a pig in cow's clothing.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I would truly love to be hoisted by my own Picard. Please.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJackieB

I favor the cookie cake. It could be subtly yet brutally honest.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Aggiedog, I just logged back on to post that same question. And...I don't want it to be a male organ either!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

First of all, Jean-Luc could carry me anywhere and I'd hardly complain at all *dirty-minded wink*. I knew someone who'd joined the National Guard, and reported home that his group had gone on "night removers" (secret code for "maneuvers", I guess)! I love stuff like this! My mom was a fan of Mrs. Malaprop, inventor of malapropisms. I just recently heard of something similar, called "Dogberryisms" , attributed to Shakespeare, but I'm not sure what they are. Anyone? =^~.~^=

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Please block the vision of little kids before reading this. Blame the cake, not me.

Is "To that boldly go..." cake supposed to be the butt of a person with a serious case of pinworms or other similar parasite or an ejaculating member. Either way, it is downright gross.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAkgreentea

These are GREAT! Although, I was hoping for a King Cake post o.0

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEllen O

eau d' ear.

that said, or more accurately typed, the 2013 dickerdoodle winners have been posted.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

@JackieB-You took the words right off of my keyboard...

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

And the English teacher in me is saying, "Wait, actually, 'I could care less' and 'I couldn't care less' BOTH work." I could care less... but I don't. or I couldn't care less. :) I've been following that one for a long time.
When you find a good cake mistake for "verses" vs. "versus," put it on here! lol. That's the mix-up that always drives me completely crackers, especially because the people using it are usually trying to be really stuck-up about how professional-sounding their writing is. Well, they all drive me crackers. I love Cake Wrecks! Hurrah!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

Oh my. I have no words. That is one waxy ear. Are those straws in the butt crack?

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@mel-Your cold air should be hitting my neighborhood early tomorrow morning. Rather than cursing and moaning as I try to defrost my car door, I'm going to try saying, "good morning, mel!" That might just keep my blood pressure withing the normal range...

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Cry havoc and release the frosting of war!

Great post. Two thumbs up.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Um... what is the.. I. UmKay. I think that is a placenta. 5th cake. Anyone? Placenta? Am I going crazy?

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLDNurse

I can't help but wonder how the ALOT has been doing since 2010.
=^o.0^=

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

C'mon, you might damage the self of steam of the wreckerators.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I love, love, love it when my two "worlds" collide in a great post like this!!

I spent fifteen years as a cake decorator/bakery manager. I was published about six years ago and was recently able to quit my job and write full-time. I've always been a grammar nazi, regardless of my job, so the Hyperbole link was appreciated, too.

Thanks ALOT for the laughs!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKellie

Sorry. It's a lot, not alot. 😁

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

@Aggiedog and Jodi: maybe it's a dog dong?

Also, ALOT. <3

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlenxa

Hallo, @sendingtheclowns! Shakespeare tended to include the occasional comic-relief character in his plays, often working-class men who used rough speech and low humor. One such was Dogberry, who comes from Much Ado About Nothing. His main shtick was the malapropism--so a Dogberryism is pretty much just a malapropism, before Mrs. Malaprop was around to provide the name. :)
also yes so help me Picard can hoist me any place any time
*eyebrow waggle*

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElvenbookworm

Well, I have been thinking about whether or not to say this but decided I would. But you can boo me if you like.

It's a lot.

Not alot.

You'd never write "alittle" (that's how I remember).

Carry on.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

@sendintheclowns Dogberry is a character in Much Ado About Nothing. Think Michael Keaton in the Kenneth Branagh version, (Keanu Reeves doing Shakespeare!)

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkjo

I'm assuming you made "a lot" one word on purpose. Trying to be funny, right?

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIMHO

I kind of liked the cow...cute enough yet could still eat.

I should have stopped reading there. Oh my eyes...eww. >.< :D

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThePearLady

@HAL: "I'm afraid I can't care at all, Dave. I'm not human. I shouldn't even be using the word "afraid".- HAL (2000). (Now, that would really be crackers!)

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@sendingtheclowns, Dogberry is a character in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. He uses malapropisms throughout such as: Comprehended for Apprehended and Dissembly for Assembly. If you haven't ever seen Much Ado you should find Joss Whedon's version where Nathan Fillion plays Dogberry. It is fantastic!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersandy

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
Ironic that you used it in a blog about misspelling and grammar. Ha!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Mitsui

Enact revenge, isn't it?

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Love! Great job, CW Team!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Why were there straws in the butt? Is it fart?

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkat

Flatulence illustrated by straws? Odd! Maybe someone's having a colonoscopy, or performing them? I really cannot figure out the object next to the gooey, leaking brain. Any help? Thanks "alot" dog dong it. :)

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBSheer

@Sharyn, @Haiku Joy and all the rest of you in the Midwest, stay warm my friends!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Thanks, Elvenbookworm, kjo, and sandy!! Fascinating! (Methinks I have quite missed much of the *heat* the Bard radiated, by the sound of things!) =^~.-^=

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Moot is a confusing word. You're using it as most people do now, to mean insignificant, or no longer relevant, but its original meaning was 'open for debate' or 'questionable' . Dictionary.com stills lists that as the first definition. In law it could also mean hypothetical. That may be how the meaning got so twisted around, if lawyers were raising hypothetical 'moot points' that had little to do with the case.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarkinSF

Am I really the only one who noticed Kilroy? It's unpossible!

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCyberjar88

#2: A cow with boobies? Someone needs to tell them that cows' udders are under their bellies.
#3: As disturbing as the message is --to baldly go where no maz has gore before (!?)-- what sort of occasion could possibly be appropriate for a naked-butt cake? And why would the naked-butt cake have straws sicking out of the anus?!
#5: This is your brain after seeing #4
...but really another "what were they thinking?" design.

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

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