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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May082014

Foot In Mouth

It's National No Socks Day!

Time to kick off those shoes and socks and bare our soles! Woohoo!

And what better way to revel in the glory of all our freed tootsies than with a little cake, amirite?

[cranking up Footloose]

Hit it!

AAAUAUUUGGH!!
I didn't mean LITERALLY!

 

I have a feeling the rest of these are going to be equally unpleasant, guys, so you, uh, might want to put the coffee down.

Ooof.

 

Arrrrggh.

 

Hurk!

 

OH COME ON!

 

[Breathing deeply through nose]

 

Maybe if we just scroll faster...

ACK.

 

EEEK!

 

NooOOOOOoooOOOO!!!

****

 

Oh, we're done?

PHEW!

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

 

Thanks to Teya, Jessica M., Breanna, JB, Mike R., Rachel B., Sam H., Anony M., & Anna I. for really socking it to us.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Word To Your Mathar | Main | That Crowning Touch »

Reader Comments (62)

ok, best post for appetite control ever... Thanks! I think....

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Tiptoe through my two lips
If I notice you, THEN I'll scream
So tiptoe, through my two lips
Tootsies.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Oh, dear heavens.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Yes it was. It was bad. Heather was right - best appetite deterrent ever.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDaphne

So, so wrong...

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTuri

The beautifully moving poem, "Foot-Cakes on the Screen"

One night I dreamed I was scrolling across a screen on my PC.

Many horrific cakes appeared before me.
.
Suddenly I noticed foot-cakes on the screen.

Sometimes the cakes made me vomit, other times I was only squeamish.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, Cake Wrecks made me laugh joyfully, so I said to Jen, “You promised me Jen, that if I followed you, you would entertain me always.”

But I have noticed that during this, the most trying minute of my day there has only been one set of foot-cakes on the screen. Why, when I needed you most, have you posted these for me?”

Then Jen replied, “What the hell are you complaining about? I run myself ragged finding ridiculous photos of incredibly messed up cakes so that you can start your day with a laugh and the one time I post something that makes you a wee bit nauseous you start complaining and spouting really bad “poetry!” What the wrong with you, woman? You like tasteless baby shower cakes but feet make you sick? Well, that’s not my problem. You need to deal with your issues and stop being such a whiner.
Allelujah...

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Why?! Why would someone order a foot cake for a birthday?! Or any occasion really?? I just don't understand, how do feet and celebrations connect?

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

I suspect that the stories behind some of the cakes would make for good reading...

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJT

O:
D:
*sliiiiides breakfast burrito to the far side of the desk*

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

each one is a definite deterrent to putting your foot in your mouth......

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Wow! And...yikes!

The one with all the green grass looks more like a grasping hand.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

WHY? WHY? WHY?

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBW

If all cake looked like these, I'd be slim as a whip!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Thanks for kick-starting that diet I needed...*shudder*

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Gross, but some of them were well done O_o

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

As icky as these are, I would LOVE to know the back stories....some of them have got to be pretty darn funny

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

What the freak is #6 all about???? No wait -- I don't want to know. Really. Don't tell me.
Hrk!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

The "Happy Birthday Little Geek" cake looks pretty good next to the other cakes. No fungus, weird toes, missing toes. The bronze finish makes it look more like a statue's foot than a real one.

But what is with the woman (nurse?) kneeling on the giant, fungal, corned foot? Is she washing it? Laying hands to cure its ills? Worshiping the Great Giant Fungal Foot?

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermagicdomino

Still wondering when birthday wishes and feet with fungus were a thing.....

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

Is #1 what happens when you were shoes made from wicker? (Or is it just me?)

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMin

Let's all take a minute and appreciate that #2's name is Dr. Pachman! Pac Man! That's awesome!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

I find it oddly appropriate that I'm reading this just as I've put up my very sore feet after a busy day at work...

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I'm sorry, but those were just disgusting!!! Gaaag

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGerri Lauzon

WHAT would ever possess someone to want a cake like any of those??? I truly wish I could unsee them.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterC Campbell

That was a painful post to scroll through

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinny

Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

My oldest has a scar on the top of her foot from an idiot boy who was practicing his knife throwing abilities. It looked a lot like that first one. o.O

Our family welcomed a sweet baby boy last night! I get to go snuggle little Liam Michael on my lunch break today! I LOVE being an Auntie!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

What on earth is that first cake even sitting on?? Looks like dog food!

*hurk*

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Why?????

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Usually I read the comments and check back against the cakes to see if I agree (or to see things I missed the first time around). This may be the first time I rushed through them and couldn't bear to look at them again. And I'm a long-time reader and Jen sets a high bar for this sort of thing. But...foot fungus cakes? An amputated toe cake? Ewwwwwwww.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFiddlebabe

Random thoughts:

When I was fifteen, I nearly cut off my second toe on my left foot (being a typically stupid teenager), giving me a scar that lasts to this day (I'm 43). My second toe actually curls up slightly over my big toe. But I can't imagine the occasion that would make me order a cake resembling it.

Blech!

Can you imagine saying, "I'd like a slice of the little piggy, please."

I now know why none of those feet wanted socks on them.

@Jodee, congracturations on being an Ant! That's the best job--at least in our house. My twins' Aunt takes them to the mall, paints their nails, takes them swimming, gets them all hyped up...and delivers them back to me. But we love her.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Little Geek, Hoof and that mind boggling sixth cake. I'm VERY impressed and equal parts disturbed and envious.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Not eating those.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Yikes! Fungus nails, hammertoes, warts--you mean (a) someone actually wanted a cake like that and (b) someone could stand to make a cake like that?

I was wearing flip flops when I looked at these. I now have socks on.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain's Girl

blargh.........

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjoylovefun

I'm a nurse. I've seen all of these IRL and worse. You don't scare me.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

I guess you have to be a Podiatrist to appreciate these cakes. Blech!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarni S.

No Jen, it wasn't that bad. IT WAS WORSE!!!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrigham

@Tammy: Ooo, tough crowd. I'll have you know that the 'CVT' in my name refers to 'certified veterinary technician'. We do just about everything the vet doesn't do. I've even closed up (routine) surgeries a few times. My specialty, though, is emergency care. Yeah, I've seen worse than this, too. But would I want to EAT a cake made to realistically resemble a golden retriever whose head had been run over by a lawnmower or a python stuck in the forehead with a screwdriver and then left in a box to die? (Both real cases.) Most probably not.

Just because you've SEEN them doesn't mean you want to partake. (And both survived. :)

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Congrats to your family Jodee!

And, may I say again, (with regard to the cakes), EEEWWWWW!!!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I'll be coming back to this post later on since I have to do a fast. It should be Put Socks On Day instead. I wonder if people actually plan on eating these cakes. I guess if you're blindfolded it could work.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@SaraCVT ~ I'm sure little Liam's daddy won't mind at all I take him to get his nails done ;-) Might wait a few days though. I will admit, however, being an Auntie does have the distinct advantage of doing all the stuff I would probably never do with my own kids for fear of the long term effects of things like cookies and chocolate cake for breakfast.

@SuBee ~ Hope everything's ok in your corner of the world!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Missed one!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=445965644785&set=a.433206689785.216282.578069785&type=3&theater

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKayLee

I'm a nurse, also, and find these amusing. My problem is that the writing on cake #7 looks purulent (like pus). Sorry guys. Just makes it that much grosser.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenn in Tenn

I wore flip flops for the first time this summer today. I didn't even realize.
Also, eughkoghok!

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTaya

I agree with Daphne. It was bad. So.Very.Bad. golf claps for you. and a couple of hurks.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Had to laugh out loud at the first one. I did that, to myself, when I was four or five, with a pitchfork. Right foot, right there at the little toe!

All the rest, yeah, they make my stomach queasy.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

Cake #2 appears to be for a goodbye party for a podiatrist. So that explains it, if not excuses it.

That first one, though? WHYYYYYYYYYYY?

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

I would like to know if the foot-as-birthday cake is an expected joke for the birthday peeps or if it is some sort of "fun" surprise.
"HURK" is right.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

This is congruent with the Venn diagram of: left side = things you shouldn't laugh at, right side = things I think are funny. Intersection = reason I'm going to hell.

Just saying. Love the gangrenous looking one. Oy.

May 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPaula Helm Murray

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