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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul182014

Accidentally Insulting Birthday Cakes

I generally don't post name misspellings, because let's face it: there are people out there who spell Jennifer with a Q. Names are hard.

Still, sometimes a baker will botch a name in such a hilariously insulting way that it. is. magic.

 

Don't you agree, Whitney?

Talk about a bellyache.

 

And what "Bart" hasn't known this pain?

 

Believe it or not, this guy's not fat. He's just a little Cubby.

Good luck losing that nickname, though.

 

Is Beth happy they didn't dot that second "I"?

YOU BETCHA.

 

Funnily enough, I think Bobby did request some of these on his cake...

 

And perhaps the most subtle insult of all:

"IF that's your REAL name...."

 

On the one hand, kudos to this bakery for recognizing that a boy can like pink fairies:

On the other hand, little Jess was PISSED.

 

(If it's any consolation, Jess, they messed up Jeff's cake, too:)

 

And finally, while I don't know which name this Asian bakery thought they were writing on their display cake, I'm pretty sure it wasn't this one:

0.0

 

Thanks to Heather B., Susan F., Laura R., Beau S., Brian C., Anna G., Debi, Eric C., and Rebecca M., who will all henceforth be known as Chuckles.

*****

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Reader Comments (48)

Not sure why cake decorators don't put mistakes in the freezer for 15-20 minutes. The top surface of the icing freezes so you can lift mistakes off (like the "Jess" instead of "Jeff") without damaging the surface. We did this in the late 70s, and we weren't pros - we wrote on premade sheet cakes in a grocery store bakery.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

I'm not a Kiss fan so I feel no need to apologize:
Maybe I'm a little bit sorry for Beth. She has enough problems

Bitch, I hear you callin’
But I can’t come home right now
Spelling names is a bother
And I just can’t find the vowels

Just a few more hours
And I’ll learn to spell for Jeff
Cake makin’ aint my callin’
But “Jeff” does end in “S”
Please tell me that’s a yes

You say that you’re not chubby
And you’re not a pedophile
And misplaced quotation marks
Simply do not make you smile

Just a few more hours
And I’ll learn to spell for you
Cake makin’ aint my callin’
Oh, Bitch what can I do?
Bitch what can I do?

Bitch you’re not a Booby
And you understand my plight
‘Cause I will be working on spelling

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Let's all sit here and smirk for a while
Whiney, Brat and Chubby make us smile
Booby and "Anna" aren't deft
The next two -- what the F?
(At least they weren't called "Pedophile")

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

All night

I think I lost the "all night!"

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Why it's Peter File of course! (With thanks to the IT Crowd)

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

happy birthday Pedophile?

Well that's a new one on me. Maybe they can send this one to wherever Jerry Sandusky is "staying".

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

"Anna" is correct. She is the sister of our old friend Amber' ....

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

'Tis but thy name that is Whiney;
Thou art thyself, though not a Brat.
What's Chubby? It is nor frosting, nor filling,
Nor fondant, nor sprinkle, nor any other part
Belonging to a cake. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? That which we call “Anna”
By any other name would taste as sweet;
So Betch would, were she not Betch call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which she owes
Without that title. Booby, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all the cake.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Why, oh why, is this site still so darn funny after all these years? Surely the hilarity must go downhill at some point? Jen & the Minions: thank you for making me laugh out loud for years now.

I will blame you when I get fired from my job when they figure out I'm not laughing at the latest spread sheet. They haven't caught on yet! (Some of the spread sheets are pretty ridiculous.)

P.S. "Jen & the Minions" would be an awesome name for a rock band.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCuriousT

I really love these kinds of wrecks. Not just misspellings, but misspellings that take on a whole new meaning. Thanks for starting my Friday off right.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Hilarious!!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I agree with CuriousT so many years and still so funny. This one had me with my head on my desk laughing with tears rolling down my face. Thank you!!!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

I went to high school with a girl named Whitney who was not a pleasant person. I think she was the only one who was surprised when her personalized yearbook had "Whiney" engraved on it.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter"Michelle"

I assume that the last cake is for Pedobear himself! I'm sure he's proud.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

@curiousT... Love it! And now, live on stage, flinging cake into the audience with every beat...it's Jen & the Minions! *and the crowd goes wild!*. I mean, who doesn't like cake, right?

In a totally unrelated to this particular post way, I need to share the newest Disney Fairies short. Makes me miss the cake competion shows they used to have on Food Network. What happened to those?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFo6xgtFxlM&feature=youtube_gdata -

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

Wooooooooow. I have no funny comments to add to this, or witty puns, I'm just glad I finished public school and know how to write properly. And proofread. And know what dirty words mean. And realize that if I get the same complaints about misspellings, I should probably find a different career. Like a schoolteacher. Or a signage maker. Or hell, even the guy who sings the ABCs at the kiddie fest in the library.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

@ Sandy: That was brilliant. :D
Jen, hilarious commentary as always. Thanks for helping perk up my days! :)

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

That last cake O_o what name could that POSSIBLY come from????

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The first two would be absolute correct for my niece and nephew. As a bonus they'd never speak to me again!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGin

What is the Jeff cake frosted with? It looks like raw cookie dough!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

If the last one was from Japan, as means as it may sound, with all their Hentai, maybe they DID mean what it says on the cake....(!)

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterOriana Giudici

I was prepared to kind of smile at todays posts, expecting a Barf or Fart intend of a Bart. But honestly that last one, I just busted out laughing. Really want to know what they thought they were writing?

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Bravo @Sandy!
So nice to know someone out there is showing some kindness to the poor pedophiles...*snerk*

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The last cake, as anyone who has seen "The IT Crowd" knows, is for Jen's ex-boyfriend Peter File. Yep, imagine having that name announced over a loudspeaker in an airport.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Wow, Sandy - that was awesome!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenAK

That last one should be the cover image of a new book titled, "Even Pedophiles Like Cake." I don't know what it'll be about but I am sure the sales will bomb.... on the other hand it'll be fun to plant a hidden camera near it at the library and see how many people look around suspiciously before picking it up, rifling through it, and leaving more confused than ever.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

okay, I can almost excuse the pink fairy and Jeff one, I used to teach with a female whose first name was "Jeff" yes, really, it was her name and cause a lot of confusion at first, so maybe??? I'm just saying maybe it wasn't a total mess-up!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersuzie

Brian often gets complimented for his brain

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn McIntyre

I can understand this mistake when someone has a unique name or spelling (to this day I automatically spell my name after giving it to anyone who might type/write it) but most of these seem like they were common names with the usual spelling.

...And how on earth did the decorator think that was 'fixing' Jeff's cake?

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

@Sandy: well done, well done! The Bard is smiling....

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@MovieMom, I really miss those Food Network Challenges too! I have always wondered why they canceled that show, because I bet it got pretty good ratings for the network.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The Happy Birthday Pedophile cake was probably the work of an English-speaking prankster. You know, the ones who tell novice spammers "In the subject be sure to put the word SPAM. Then they will be sure to open it." (evil chuckle) Apparently he is now advising non-English speaking cake decorators too. "Here, write this real pretty. People will love it."

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

When I was 9, I loved Garfield, so my Mom ordered a cake with an "fat, orange and black, striped cat" on it. (The bakery didn't have the license for Garfield). My Mom requested "Happy Birthday Catherine" written on it. What I got was..."Happy Birthday Cat" written in Orange with black stripes. The black stripes across the orange writing made it look like the decorator was trying to cross off what was written. As for the "orange and black, striped cat," it never made it onto the cake.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

SuBee, you've outdone yourself! Take a bow!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDNA

@SuBee ~ Well done! When I was little my 12-years-older than me brother had a door size poster of KISS on the outside of his bedroom door. Every morning my 4-year-old self would come out of my room to see a life size Gene Simmons with his tongue sticking out in all its glory. I'm not really a fan either. I like your version better ;-)

I've been checking back all day trying to see if someone can explain the frosting on the Jeff cake. It almost looks like they did the piping around the edge THEN did the coconut pecan (?) cookie dough (?) frosting??? I still don't get it.

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I think the "Beth" cake is supposed to be Butch? Maybe?

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDeserea

You have NO idea how much I needed a laugh. The last one had me shrieking. Sandy, that tribute was amazing!

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

....How sad is it that I've had the first cake happen to me before as a kid? It was before the days of Cake Wrecks...My Mama took pictures and everything of it and showed it to my aunts and everything. No idea where that picture went....

Ah well, it was atleast an icecream cake :D

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

I thought that first cake was supposed to be for someone named Winnie. As in Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years." Or Winnie Mandela for those who are a looking for a reference that's a bit more highbrow.

I never would have thought of the name Whitney if it had not been mentioned. How can someone completely leave out the T?

July 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterahimsa

Lmao!! I am so glad you have yet to find one with my name on it. I know it is out there waiting for me. I just don't want to find it hehe. Poor Bobby. I hope he ate that part before his friends could see it.

July 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

My friends and I call each other "betch"

July 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpaylo

A) the song Beth was my son's lullabye since before he was even born (what? It was the only slow song I could consistently remember the words to! KISS rocks!) so that was a little hard to take yet hilarious at the same time!
B) I'm fairly certain that the mystery stuff on the Jess/ff cake is German chocolate cake coconut frosting.

July 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdakota

Isn't Bart Simpson's birthday cake missing a candle or two?
("Don't correct the man, Brat!")

And what the frosting was the name on that last cake SUPPOSED to be? I know parents give their children unusual names these days, but if there's someone out there actually named Pedophile, I will eat my glasses. (Since I'm not wearing a hat.)

July 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

The "Chubby" cake was for the daughter of a friend of mine. Her nickname is Cubby. Don't worry too much about it, though, Laura finds it just as hilarious as the rest of us!

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMyra Fishburn

In the unlikely event I have get the honor of naming a child, the first name will be very traditional with the most usual spelling and his/her middle name will be Withaqueue in your honor.

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I'm guessing that maybe "Pedophile" is supposed to be Penelope? That's the only thing I can come up with. Unless it was meant for Jerry Sandusky, of course.

August 4, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRiaB

http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2014/2/4/face-meet-palm.html#comment20759652

I can't believe it. SueBee's prediction has come true.

August 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'm obviously late to this post, but the first cake brought back a memory for me. A guy I went to high school with had the middle name "Whitney." Occasionally students' middle names would be called out, and that one often confused people who didn't already know it and thought of it as a girl's name.

One day the school paper had an article that listed several students' full names, this guy among them. Unlike with the first cake, the T made it into the printed name. Unfortunately, the N did not. I thought it had the ring of a nickname that's included with someone's first and last name. Poor "Whitey" seemed to take it well, though. And the icing on top of the cake: this guy wasn't white.

August 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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