Friday Favs 1/8/16

A few of my favorite new submissions this week.

How To Get Proper Credit At The Potluck:

Next time I'm totally spelling my name in deviled eggs.

***

Is it too late for Christmas cakes? Yes.

Is it too late for the world's most legitimately horrifying Christmas wreck?

Well, you decide:

0.o

No, you guys are right: it's definitely too late for him.

SAVE YOURSELVES.

***

Here's one way to decrease your chance of getting a wreck:

With instructions and drawings this clear, what could go wrong?

Ahh, allow me to answer that question with another question:

Did you know the letters "NHS" look exactly the same upside down?

*headdesk*

***

Considering what a smash hit the new Star Wars movie is, you can bet your sugar-lickin' mixer thingies there are new Force Awakens cake kits!

Drum roll, please.

[insert drum roll here]

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAwait.
That's it? That's IT? THAT'S it?

What is that even supposed to be? I feel like the orange airbrushy stuff is trying to communicate, but sadly I don't speak Bocce Pictionary. And the brown dot? What is with the brown dot?

Well, I'll give them this: at least Rey has her own piece.

(HEYOOOOO CURRENT EVENTS BURN)

***

And now,

The Weirdest Display Cake Of All Time:

Ok, sure, there's a floating fetus. Let's drink that in. But also, how about those hairy bamboo shoot things? And the spider fingers up top? This whole thing is basically Coraline: The Prenatal Years.

(BONUS CREEPINESS: look for the face in the glass. Or don't, if you ever want to sleep again.)

Thanks to Susan S., Stacie, Lisa R., Christy L., & Cathy G., who's just happy that last one doesn't have jam-covered lady bits. We're with you there, Cathy.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Yes, Bakers Are Still Making Disgusting Baby Shower Cakes

Warning: Graphic cakes of a medical nature to follow. Hide the kids, and hold on to your appetites!

Additional Helpful Warning from john (the hubby of Jen): There's lady bits ahead.

Remember when all we had to worry about on baby shower cakes was the occasional creepy doll or demonic ultrasound photo?

Next were the boob and belly cakes, because apparently moms-to-be harbor sado-cannabalistic tendencies:

Then they added those Alien-inspired belly-burster baby feet - which is SUPER fun to say three times fast. (Go on, try it. You know you want to.)

Soon even celebs like Christina Aguilera were getting in on the gross-out-your-guests act:

So how do you top edible naked moms giving birth?
Why, make the cake wet plastic shiny and embed a bunch of CLEAR GELATIN, of course.

Mmm, that's the stuff.

Or you could go for classic realism:

Sure, everyone will 'ooh' and 'ahhh' - until the carving knife comes out.
("No, no, YOU serve." "No, you!" "Maybe we'll just have ice cream.")

(If you need more nightmares, just look at this baby cake being sliced.)

But for maximum hurkin'-in-the-gherkins, there's really no beating the spread leg, peek-a-boo head:

With extra jam filling.

Hang on, it's missing something. No, not feet. Or a torso. Or common decency.

PUBIC HAIR!

Ah, so much better.

But really, aren't those legs kind of, I dunno, unnecessary?

I mean, let's get back to basics, people:

All a good dessert needs is stretched vagina lips, and a crowning fetus head. Am I right, or am I right?

Thanks to Kasey V., Sandy R., Linda G., Darren W., Devon H., Lynds, & Maggie for understanding that there was really no good way to censor those last three, short of blacking out the whole photo. Which would be preferable, but less educational.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.