The Secret's Out

Sometimes when I tell people that John and I have been married for 17 years now, they exclaim in shock, "What, did you get married when you were twelve?!" And then we laugh and laugh until I wake up and cry a little.

The times I'm not dreaming, though, people sometimes ask what our "secret" is.  I assume they mean the secret to a happy marriage, and not that thing that happened at the fair, because how would they know about that?

So. The secret to a happy marriage?

ROMANTICAL TYPE WORDS AND STUFF.

Yep, nothing bolsters a relationship more than eloquently whispered...um...whispers of affection. 

And stuff.

 

What's more, this kind of mushiness isn't just for your weeding day!

 

Now, admittedly, John is a lot better at this than I am, but I've learned to follow his lead and try to say something romantical every single day.

 

I know it can be hard for you naturally romantic chatterboxes to understand us more silent and stoic types, but the truth is sometimes we just don't know how to express what we're feeling.

And other times you'll have to cut us a little slack because, hey, at least we're trying.

 

 [creepy grin] Aheheheheh. PREEETTY.

But really, I can't stress this one point enough:

 

ROMANTICAL.

And if you want to keep your spouse on his or her toes, try celebrating your next anniversary like this:

 Not that *I* would ever do such a thing, of course. No, I prefer to write John heartfelt missives of the feelings my heart feels. Kind of like this bakery's delivery box:

[turning on slow, sultry beat] 

[grabbing mic] 

[talking over doo-wop back-up singers]

 John, sweetie? There is no need reason. [draping self over piano] You fall - you FALL! - in love with my freedom. [raising roof]  HEE-HEE! So open that window, baby - yes, OPEN IT! So that the soul of my soul and your soul and our souls - oh yes - [sliding to front of stage on knees] embracing you. [biting lip] Unnng. Yeah, boy. UH.

Thanks to Judie V.,  Melanie S., Anony M., Whitney B., Heather R.,  Stephanie & Aaron, Anony M., & Melinda H., for helping me express myself. Like to enjoy the heart was affected, guys. LIKE TO ENJOY.

*****

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Spider-Man And Elsa Walk Into The Millennium Falcon...

Amber's twins were having a birthday, and just so we're clear, by "twins" I mean her actual children. Just covering all the bases for you long-term readers. (FLAAAAASHBAAAAACK.)

Anyhoo, since Amber is one of those awesome moms who doesn't make her kids share a cake, she ordered two. First, this Spider-Man design:

...which ended up looking surprisingly good!

Unless maybe you can read:

Why is "Spiders Man" there?
(Spiders Man says: "I'm not even supposed to be here today.")

I like how the baker combined the D and the A, though. Good space-saver.

Well, we can hope Amber's other cake came out OK, right?

Ohhh, hang on, she ordered which design?

ABANDON HOPE NOW.

::sigh::
Oh, look. Now the mountains are saggy balls with spooge on top.
::bigger sigh::
::that ends with head on keyboard::
::followed by a long moment of silence::

Of course, by now we've seen approximately three metric crap-tons of Frozen wrecks - so let's switch it up a bit and see how Vanessa fared with this new Star Wars design:

Vanessa asked the bakery to make a round version, which they said was no problem.

Uh... Wreckies?

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

Note Vanessa's hand holding up the cake from behind.

The cherry on top was when the baker who handed her the cake said, "There wasn't any room for decorations," and plopped down a plastic bag with all the ships and stuff in it.

DROID PLEASE.

Thanks to Amber S. & Vanessa B. for wreckin' it by the book.

*****

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