What Happens In Vagueness

Reading a wreck can be like deciphering code. Except it's a code where the sender doesn't necessarily know what she's saying, either.

Some are easy:

Yup.

Others take a little more work:

No.

(Do we need to go over this again?)

And some are downright inscrutable:

That settles it: No more caffeine for Mary.

Now, this clearly says "CoNgrat's Spr 2K9 Noo of the Theta Tall of Kappa Alpha Psi To be Kontrua."

But it's all Greek to me.

(Well, half Greek. All inexplicable, half Greek.)

So in conclusion,

My thoughts exactly.

Thanks to Missie S., Megan B., Tina H., Jessica R., and Jeremy N., for helping us clear that up.

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The Anti-Valentine

Not feeling the love today? Then here, try these Valentines on for sighs.

'Cuz nothing says romance like necrotic tissue!

Another sure-fire mood-killer? Faded pictures of screaming children on motorcycles:

He's yelling, "EWW WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING??"

Maybe you don't want to kill the mood so much as make it really, really confusing:

"Weight 4 me?" "Weight 4 me?" How does that even make sense? I mean, look, I love puns. "Bee Mine" with a honey bee? I'm on board. "I love EWE" with a lil sheep? Adorbz. But what the heck is "Weight 4 me" with a heart lifting hearts? Is this just so meta my brain can't handle it? Who even says "wait for me" on Valentine's Day, much less says it so often they need a visual play on words? How is this a thing? Who thought this was a good idea? AAAAUGGH!

[patting hair back into place]

Ahem.

And finally, when you just plain want to be a jerk:

There's this:

See, it's funny, because nobody loves them! The person who ordered this cake, I mean.
You know, the one covered in pink icing. (We hope.)

Thanks to Jenn W., Gabrielle N., Candi, & Jamie G. for giving us a good idea what NOT to do.

*****

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