My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

To Bee Or Not To Bee

As we get closer to Valentine's day, the amount of animal puns on pastry increase exponentially. "I love ewe," "Can't bear to live without you," etc, etc.

The only problem is, many bakers don't understand puns. So, I've assembled this handy primer to help them out.

And also so we can laugh at them.

But that goes without saying.


Alright, bakers, today we're going to cover the most basic Valentine's pun there is: "Bee Mine." The trick here is to write "Bee Mine" and accompany it with a bee. Got that? Good.

Now you try.

No, no; see, you got the bees right, but your "be" needs another "e," you see?

Try again.

Good, good, but let's try to get the bee back in there, ok?


[massaging temples]

That's just a dead bee.

What the...? What does that even mean? NO!

Now you're just screwing with me.

Fine. I'll take it.

Thanks to Katie G., Saera D., Megan I., Sarah Beth J., Sarah M., Eleanor S., Courtney A., & Laura A., who think some-bunny made that doggone foxy bee a little too hare-raising.

« Countdown to V-day | Main | A-ha! I Fixed It! »

Reader Comments (81)

Oh dear...

'Cuz, you know, nothing says 'love like the word 'mine' and a flying penis. Bonus points for that i can only assume is a yellow pinstriped condom on it.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdest/jess(ie)/etc.

Nobody knows the difference between be, bee, and bi?
I weep for my country.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I think my favorite is the 'Mee' - why I wish people had 'spellcheck.'

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline

Ok, You've got me laughing out loud again at the office.

The dead bee and Bi (was this intened to hint that the giver wants some bi-sex on Vday?) But the penis bee with the striped condom... OMG I just can't stop laughing.

thank you cw!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

I kind of like the last one. He looks like a comma, or at least a comma as it would look if I tried to put one on a cake...

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

That last one... "Worm mine?" 'Cause honey, that ain't no bee!

Oh, and I love the irony of having the two hears next to each other, one right, one wrong.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

"Bi Mine" would make sense as a pun if your switch-hitting sweetie swings both ways, so to speak.

I know that 500 Epcots are going to say this today, but maybe I'll be the first.

... Whoops, no, Sandy C beat me to it before I could hit "Publish Your Comment."

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The dead bee made me laugh even before I read the caption. It just looks so... squashed.

WV: trate. Wreckerators' misspellings of cliches are just so trate.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

No, no; see,

you got the bee

but your "be" needs an "e,"

you see?

A little quick editing on my part and you've written a lovely poem.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Nothin' says "love" like a flaccid bee...

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbluewhite

The last cake brings to mind an old joke-"is that a banana in your pocket....?"
wv: failie - anyone of these cakes could be a fail-ee! LOL.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdebbo

I sort of like the half-dead, pirate butterflybee--he's jaunty

I looked and looked for two "hears." Thought you meant bears and I missed something.

Mary Connealy<
You may well be the Dr. Seuss of Cake!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennaline

oh lordy, don't know where to bee-gin.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstella

A "bee mine" is where bees are dug out of the ground. Most of the best lodes are in countries with poor work-safety regulation, and the miners work in appalling conditions for very low wages. Even these lodes are starting to play out, leading to the current worldwide bee shortage.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

penis favorite kind

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

Bwahahahahah Bi-mine.... priceless cakes... *slapping head and in my homer simpson voice *doh*

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo You!

"Banana w/ tumorous growth mine"?!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't think that "dead" bee is quite dead yet. He appears to be cursing at whatever whacked him!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

I thought that last one was trying to say, "That herpes-infected member wearing a stetson? That's mine!"

It's really a sweet sentiment if you think about it. For a guy to know his gal still loves him and his parts despite his sores and cowboy fetish.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Thank you Cake Wrecks for always making me smile, even when I'm down.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Gary -- so also to / too / two, except that all three of those are words, where 'bi' is not. Well, not really. Really not going there.

@Caroline -- it's the cakes that need a spellchecker. Of course, then we would just see a lot of cakes with words that have a squiggly red underline.

If one has never seen a live bee (I suppose that could be possible, these days), a flying banana is... still from Mars.

I never knew there were so many forms of 'bee'.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Is slimey dead? He has wings now?


February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

first I want a large "Bee mine" and underneath that I want sprinkles...

I think that last "bee" look more like the handle of an umbrella, than a bee or a comma, or a you-know-what

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

or better yet could you write "Bee mine with sprinkles?"

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

"Bi mine"?


"BI mine"?

{rubbing forehead}


Excuse me while I lay down on my fainting couch with a cold compress and a cocktail to recover.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

By "Bi" they were referring to the Korean popstar. It is pronounced the same as "bee" and means "rain". And if you think I'm serious, think again (although the facts are true).

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

I'm pretty sure that last one actually says "Banana slug mine".

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

that winking four legged dead bee freaks me out! and Bi Mine? is that some sort of "swings both ways" reference??

Kiss Mee sounds like someone's begging for a smooch!

that last shocked-looking bee looks like a phallic symbol. "(phallic symbol) mine"--is it a guy advertising his wares? now the white heart dripping down its back is freaking me out. put some legs on that thing, wreckerator! it is NOT looking like a bee...

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I thought the last one was a sperm. "Sperm Mine"

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTravlnbard

That last one makes me want to wish someone a Happy VD Day

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for always making me laugh.

Bought your book and it was delivered today, awesome!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

ROFLMAO @ "That's just a dead bee." Thank you for always making me laugh. Out loud. At my desk.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

a smirking, winking, spread-eagle bee. ok. *sigh* Yeah, my appetite's dead.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I laughed really, really hard at "That's just a dead bee".

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I just cracked a rib from holding in my laughter at work.

My favorite is "that's just a dead bee". Haahahahahaahahhaaahahaaha, haaha, haaha. Hahaahhaaha. Haha. ha. Okay I'm done. Hahaha. Heehee. Okay, really. I'm done.


February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bi Mine absolutely cracked me up--I woke my sleeping child lol

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy's Cooking Adventures

I would like to point out that the dead bee's stinger is...well, let's say delicately placed.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdele

Why am I only reading this blog now! It's brilliant. I especially can't wait for more Valentine's cakes to come up. The cheesiest day of the year has to produce some of the best cakes.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCGambee

@Joel--Bwa-ha-ha-ha!! I love it!


wv-lusser. Which is the lusser of two evils: bi-mine or kiss mee?

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

BI MINE has some meaning to it if you mix languages. In Mongolian 'BI' is I, the first person pronoun. So if you mix Mongolian & English, you have a very self-centered, prideful individual because their cake reads "I, MINE." Don't think they are getting a date for Valentine's Day!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatthew

Shocked-looking-overripe-banana-penis-with-fungus mine? What a lovely message.

And the dead bee answers the question Walter Brennan's character keeps asking in To Have and Have Not. Whoever paid for that thing got stung!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Cake 1: Shame, nice icing-manship.

Cake 2: BEE my ValentiNE. Say that with emphasis on the letters in caps. Sounds silly doesn't it? I'd run the other way!

Cake 3: This bee looks like he's laying on a couch trying to look all sexy with his stinger hanging out.

Cake 4: The bee *was* there, it just flew away after getting the pollen from the flowers.

Cake 5: That's just a dead bee. ROTFLMBO! I see Mr. Peanut with a striped shirt and butterfly wings.

Cake 6: Maybe it's for a computer geek? Bi-nary?

Cake 7: It would have been slightly funnier if they were switched - "Kiss Me. Kiss Mee." Kinda like what jo said - they're beggin' for a smooch.

Cake 8: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about the birds & the *bees*!

wv: cemat: When frosting sets out too long and gets hard (not like that!).

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I am truly afraid of what the Bi Mine was getting at... not that I'm judging, I just don't swing that way with my pastries

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTonya

How hard is it too draw a good bee on a cake and write "Bee Mine" on it? I'm not asking for a perfect bee, either. Heck, it can even be squashed like that dead one (I have to point out, that one's a cupcake cake [shudder]!). I just wish people could get it right for once. Sigh... I have forgotten what a GOOD "Bee Mine" cake actually looks like. The dead one is super sad, too, 'cause they didn't even try to write "Bee Mine" on it. They just stuck a little plastic pick on it!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Flying Penis Mine"? I don't get it :)
Damn, I am laughing at loud at my desk (again!)

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

OH that was hilarious, your comments make me giggle so much :)

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda V @ Bubble and Sweet

That dead bee is creepy. Bi? That just makes me laugh. As for the last one that is the strangest looking bee I've ever seen since it looks more like a flying penis or maybe a flying worm.

Maybe the Bi one has something to do with getting a threesome as a Valentine's gift.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

the ones with no bee are spelled with bee, and the ones with a bee are spelled be, why? LOL!

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark Thuesen

Okay, this is my favorite post of the week. The commentary is spot on. Well done, Wreckwranglers, well done.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSoupAddict Karen

Oh, man. I have the PERFECT picture for this, and I CAN'T FIND IT. It's a cookie at Target, and it's iced to read "BE MNE".

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjenthegreat

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