Say WHAT

Many of you know I love misheard cake orders the most, but I ESPECIALLY love them when they end up saying something they really shouldn't.

Like the patriotic bar event, "Red, White, & Brews!"

Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark.

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You know how some folks go by a single letter for their name, like J or T? And how those people are obviously undercover MIB agents?

Well, Agent P always has a rough time around his birthday:

Especially since he keeps neuralizing the bakers, so they don't remember for next year.

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And finally, this one's puzzling in a few ways:

1) Is this FOR Miss Piggy? Because there's no comma.

2) If it's not for Miss Piggy, then how exactly is the cake recipient supposed to enjoy her?

3) On second thought, don't answer that.

4) NO BACON JOKES, I MEAN IT

5) Anybody want a peanut?

Thanks to Emma D., Jessica T., & Louisa F. for not hogging the cake.

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You're probably expecting something bacon related down here, but I decided the bacon bandaids were too weird. SO...

"Morning People" Need Not Apply

Shhhhh! NOT SO LOUD with the breathing and the clicking with the mouse and whatnot, ok? Geez.

Now, if you'll kindly take your extra-strength cups of coffee and scroll quietly this way, I've prepared a little photo montage that I think perfectly captures our collective New Year's morning experience:

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Also, I'm sure some of your evenings last night included a bunch of these:

Although whether those are exploding champagne bottles, firecrackers, or phalluses is anyone's guess.

Still, don't worry; we're going to get through this together if you remember one important safety tip: if and when you start to see something like this floating in your peripheral vision:

...be sure to tell someone.

Not me, though; I'm going to be too busy lying on the couch over here with a pillow on my face.

(Confession: I didn't actually drink anything last night. It's just nine o'clock in the morning, and I'm a blogger. Ug. Wake me when it's noon, ok?)

Oh, and this baker would like to wish someone named Mary a happy new year:

So I guess the rest of us are out of luck.

Thanks to Elizabeth, Caitlin C., Tara C., Kate H., Alison C., & Sarah J., for ringing in the new year the best way possible: metaphorically.

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Hey, just in case you need this:

The Hungoevr Coobkook