This Missed Mark Will Bug The Heck Out Of You

Ever heard of Stanley Stinkbug? 

 Yeah, me neither. 

 Apparently he's a children's character who looks like this:

As far as anthropomorphic bugs go, I guess he's not TOO terrifying. I'd put him somewhere between Heimlich the caterpillar and Hopper the evil grasshopper: Not a bug you'd want to cuddle, exactly, but that probably wouldn't make you run screaming from the room, either. Plus the neckerchief is fun.

Anyhoo, of course - of course - bakers have been asked to make cake versions of Stanley, and of course some of those bakers have done so... poorly.

The good news is today's baker was only asked to do a flat illustration on a cupcake cake (patooie!), which is a running head start, right? No molding or sculpting, just a picture. Heck, they could even print one out!

So what do you think, did they make Stanley's eyes all wonky? Is his scarf the wrong color, is he missing some legs? Oh! I know! I bet... you just want me to just show you the cake, don't you.

 Fine.

 BEHOLD!

Actual footage of my reaction:

Also now this gif is blocking my view of the cake, so... BONUS.

Now, before I nope right out of here, I'd like to point out that the baker CLEARLY thought management wanted an actual stinkbug cake for the display case, but never thought to ask A) WHY DEAR LORD WHY, or B) why it was named Stanley. 

 I mean, c'mon, you get told to draw a random bug named Stanley, tell me you wouldn't add some glasses and a sweater vest. That's just common sense.

Also, is this the sort of bakery where random horrific requests are this common? Was the baker asked to make a "Tiffany Tapeworm" last week, so Mr. Stinkbug was par for the course?

::dares to scroll up briefly to see the cake again::

K, last question: Did the baker think putting the giant semi-realistic stinkbug on a bed of lettuce... was helping??

Aaaaand I'M OUT.

Thank you(?), Emily S. I do not approve.
*****

P.S. After my crack about cuddle-worthy bugs, naturally I had to go see if I could find some. And I gotta say, the ant? ADORABLE:

Plush Bugs
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Cats, Bats, & Cakes That Bite Back!

Good news, gang: we can officially go all-in on our Halloween celebrating, because it's less than two weeks away! Eeeee!

And for those of who've been all-in on Halloween since August: I see you, and I approve.

This week I thought I’d focus on one-tier cakes, because a) they’re cute, b) I relate to short things, and c) I could conceivably eat an entire one myself in one sitting. Not that I would, of course. I'm just saying it's a possibility I'd be willing to explore if, say, someone were to bring home all three of these:

(Whipped Bakeshop, Pennsylvania)

::waggles eyebrows in John's general direction::

Oooh, now here's a cake that deserves a hand:

(Loren Bakes, California)

Sorry, sorry, that was a terrible pun for an incredible cake. The one orange butterfly! Swoon.

Is there really anything scarier than the year 2020?

(The Sugar Alchemist, UK)

Ouch. TOO REAL. But at least in this case we can eat the messenger.

I had to watch a video of this next baker piping the design to believe it, because WOW:

(Qookie The Cakery, Nevada)

That's all hand-piped! Ahh-MAZING.

And now an adorable bat:

(Cakes By Kristi, Illinois)

D'awwwww.

Bakers often use melted marshmallows to make cobwebs, so now when I see spider-webbed cakes I just think how delicious they look:

(Vanilla Bean, Alberta)

Nomz. Also I'm a big fan of all the pastel Halloween goodies this year!

Now the age-old debate: Is Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween movie, or a Christmas movie?

(Bake-A-Saurus, California)

The correct answer, of course, is "both." And this cake should be an art print, because SWOON.

If you liked those colors as much as I do, then hold on to your hats and watch your fingers:

(Charra Jarosz, Washington)

Sweet and snappy! This is a fun mix of traditional piping and creepy weirdness, A++, would recommend.

Or how about some classic black, white, and red?

(Ela's Tortenwelt, Germany)

OoooOooh. Those candied apples look like giant cherries! The daisies are an unexpected touch, too.

And finally, a Sweet you can really sink your teeth into:

(Cake No Mistake, Essex)

A little mouthy. sure, but in the high-stakes world of vampires, it's a grave situation if you don't count Dracula. Besides, I love the cape. :p

Happy Sunday, everyone! Here's hoping the rest of your week is sweet and spooky.

*****
P.S. Really the only way I could follow that last cake is with this:

"Gracula" Garlic Twist Crusher

Bahaha! This goes great with that witchy spoon rest I featured last week.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: