My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Otherwise Engaged

In all fairness, who doesn't want to look like a hot Victoria's Secret babe on her bridal shower cake?

Although with those silver eyes, white lips, and hair streaks, Lubna is looking more like a bridal banshee. Assuming that "bridal" = "bikini" of course. (Hey, it's happened before...)

At least Lubna gets a rockin' bod on her cake, though. As opposed to... well, a rockin' bod:

Behold, the bridal shower weeble wobble!!

Yep, this cheeky little lady salutes all Wreckerators who would pipe icing over a lace-wrapped cake board.

Still, which is worse, ladies? Bad bridal thongs, or raiding your toddler's toy chest?

Wowza. There's so much unidentifiable pellet flotsam on this thing, I'd be looking for rogue bunnies nearby.

Well, never mind which is worse - because this one beats them all, hands down:

Just take a card, and back away slowly.

Jonora A., Megan S., Anony M., & Travis D., isn't it nice to get these things off your chest?

- Related Wreckage: This One's for the Girls

« Seussical Sweets | Main | Wacked Out Wrecks »

Reader Comments (103)

That butt picture is HILARIOUS. Who wouldn't want to cut into it and eat it? I call the rhinestone!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

....... WOW. That last one... I just... do they realize that if it's supposed to be her own hands that they're backwards? But I guess if it's someone else groping the decapitated torso, that it would be right.
Those first two are just...wrong. Have some tact people! I blame those who order these cakes just as much as the wreckorators.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

That last one... oh. my. The detached hands. oh. my.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterellemck1

Is that last one supposed to be a cake for a recent graduate of a masseuse school maybe?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

I don't know that I agree that the last one is the worst, but it may well be. The Wreckarator didn't even bother to finish ICING THE HANDS. I guess she needed to wash her own hands of the thing (Or not, since there were business cards there).

That flotsom and jetsom? OMG! UGLY! disgusting. Are we sure that was professional? Worse, WHY does that person actually have a business in the first place?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Wow, that little icing thong just kinda disappears there, huh?


February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Those cakes are going to lead to some awesome apres cake sex...!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Shitty Astrologer

You forgot to mention that the victoria secrets banshee also has a pink mustache.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those white lips make the bride look as if she has a moustache! Do you think the pellets all over the Cinderalla cake are supposed to be pennies from heaven? But what the dickens is the story behind the hands-on-chest cake? Celebrating new implants, maybe?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

One question... On cake #2, Where exactly is that thong disappearing to?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #4...congratulations on what? having your hands amputated and reattached to your chest?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBev

I love love love Cinderella driving HERSELF to the ball, chariot-style!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGoosey

Lol, weeble wobble :P

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Looks like the Princess Bride is about to bail from her carriage. I would love to see the look on the face of the first one to take a bite of that pre-chewed wreck of a cake, when they bite into one of those peppercorn pebbles scattered about!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As bad as those cakes are, what you'll see if you click on the "it's happened before" link is even worse.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go scrub my brain.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

These were very it wrong of me to think the one in the thong looks kinda hawt? lol

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Whoa, man. In my day, weddings were a dignified affair....harrumph!

Is #2 marrying Sir Mix-A-Lot?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Oh. My. They are all horrendous, but that last one? Unbelievable. I cannot imagine having anything so mortifyingly tasteless at a wedding shower!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

At least most of the flotsam Nadia's cake looks edible. I can identify the strawberries, gooseberries, blackberries, raspberries and blueberries. Are there currants that small, or are those peppercorns?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhmmm...

What's with Lubna's mouth? Is she sporting a Wilford Brimley mustache or just foaming at the mouth?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Deranged Housewife

What is that last one supposed to be? Or represent? Or anything?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

As terrible as those are, I don't think anything beats the link posted with the first cake.....

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Getts

Boy, these are some classy cakes! Is the second one . . . um . . . kneeling? And that last one, what is it even supposed to be? Is it a man's chest with a woman's hands on it? Or is it his back? Or maybe she's cupping her own chest in a suggestive way?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

i wish i could capture the puzzlement i feel when looking at these "creations" trying to figure out, "WHY"?

the second on has a rock On her bod... by the way..

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Okay, I am overwhelmed with my comments...
The first cake is creepy, but not as much so as that wedding. Damn! How did you find that one?!?!!?

The second cake is rediculous, but I'm wondering what the wreckorator wrote in red icing next to the torso.

The third cake, yuck.

The last one. Disturbing to the nth degree. severed hands on a chest? What is it supposed to be? And is the cake decorator REALLY advertising their work with those business cards??? REALLY?!?!?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Dead hands ...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermaxon

PS - thanks for the link to the tacky weddings site. I'll be busy and happy for days now.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermaxon

Shower of Love and Hoappiness?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZita

I wonder if the base for the butt cake was made with one of those penis shaped pans, then the arms added from another cake.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentervldecker

The wreckorator of #3 sure did an impressive job of presenting the ugliest side of each and every fruit s/he put on "Madia's" "Hoappi mess" of a cake.

I, too, need a shower!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for the link to the Bridezilla. It reminds me of my mother's quote - "expensive doesn't always mean it's better" (or even a good idea at all!!) YIKES!!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

@vldecker -

I had the exact same thought....

Need Mental Floss - STAT!!!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

That last one I'm sure is of hands massaging a back, hence the crease down the middle, and lack of breasts. Far less dirty. I'm also guessing "congratulations (on finishing massage school)!"

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Getting married in a bikini ... ugh.

The best thing, though, is that the wrecker of the severed-body-parts cake put his or her business card next to it, knowing that every guest would want one for themselves!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Why is Lubna foaming at the mouth?

why is there a veil and rhinestone studded g-string on the full-bottomed #2? with her arm up like she's posing?

Why is Cinderella driving through a mine field? is that fruit shrapnel?

I just don't understand #4. Why is a pair of detached hands with nailpolish (and no ring, btw) groping someone's disembodied chest? just what are we congratulating here?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous where exactly is that thong going when it suddenly vanishes ....on second thoughts, don't tell me, I'd rather not know or we'll be back in the terrifying realm of chocolate/poo

.....and shouldn't the first bride have removed her depilatory mustache cream before posing for the cake?

.... nothing says nuptial bliss quite like severed, bloodless, decomposing hands, ah bless

(here in the boring old freezing cold UK brides tend to wear plain old white dresses)

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At first glance it looks like plastic carrots but I think that they are sliced strawberries.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

What on earth is the last one suppose to be congratulating!?!?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheressa

Are we absolutely positive that last one is cake? Looks like shaped concrete to me... or possibly clay...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So what is #4 congratulating? A chest wax? a manicure? a boob job? a new job as a masseuse? (can't tell if that's a chest or a back...) a beheading?

I. don't. get. it.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#4--is she groping herself or someone else? *confused*

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whoa. Angel dust. Yup. Explains the rest.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Oh good god where does that thong disappear to? I do not want to know.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Ummm, did anyone else notice that the flotsam cake says "Shower of Love and HappiMess?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergrdngrl

I wondered what the third cake was meant to be a congratulation for. Then I shuddered and decided I didn't want to know, after all.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwundermary

um, Anon @ 10:50, the bridezilla on the link to the first one (bikini bride with big boobs) apparently is in the UK. couldn't say boring white dress there!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

urg. barf. CW2 looks like she (the bride) is...drinking? waving to someone? covering her embarrassed face with her hand?

the last cw, i'm guessing was perhaps for a massage therapist? it looks like hands on a back to me.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I have no idea what to think about the hands on the torso thing...what exactly does that symbolize?

I swear that thong wearing cake on the lace used a cake pan shaped like another "thing" that might be used for a themed bachlorette party, if ya know what I mean.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDarling One

at least the toy cake kind of warns you. it does say "showers of love and HAPPIMESS." with all those toys, it does indeed look like happimess to me.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I was just sent into a mild state of loss of all brain functions because of the last one....that's why mom always said "don't do crack"...that cake will happen.....

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney C.

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