Maybe We Should Stick to Baby Blocks And Umbrellas...

I can understand wanting to get more creative with your baby shower designs, bakers, but please, NOT LIKE THIS:

"The rare squiggle-spitting dingle-dangler immobilizes its prey with a unique 'spit net' that some cultures find quite tasty."


At first you think this is just another crocheted baby with exposed brains:

But turn the cake around, and... I'm just really confused.


Did anyone ever show you the trick of making a tiny footprint stamp with the side of your hand? And then you use your fingers to stamp the toes?


Well, then, did anyone ever tell you to keep your grubby hands off of other people's food?

Look closely.


In case you need MORE proof that bakers troll this site for "fun new" decorating ideas:

But you'll note there are STILL no air holes.


If that doesn't seem morbid enough for you, though, then how about a one-year-old's head on a tree stump?

I was about to say that at least this isn't a baby shower cake, but then I realized how much worse it is as a one-year-old's birthday cake:

"Look, kiddo! That's YOUR head! Do you like it? Look, I'm slicing off 'your' nose now, haha! Now, how big of a piece of your face do you want to eat? And why are you crying?"


And finally, I keep thinking bakers have reached the pinnacle of creepiness with their torso cakes: from protruding feet to perky nips to Wraith-hand-manicures, but I must say this is a new twist:

"I call it, 'Womb With a View.'"


Thanks to Anony M., Monique K., Cori M., Lyndsay S., Madina S., & Alexandra M. for the labors of... love? Ok, sure. Love.


Update from john- So it turns out the baby head on a stump cake is actually from the sweet, innocent, Slavik fairytale Kolobok.  In said fairytale, a yellow, spherical being (creepy baby head) becomes animated and escapes from its grandparents. (I'm still trying to figure out how a newly-animated spherical being even has grandparents.) In the end, like so many other sweet, innocent fairytales, the creepy baby head is eaten by a fox. So, ya know, not creepy at all. Sleep tight, kids!