My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Maybe We Should Stick to Baby Blocks And Umbrellas...

I can understand wanting to get more creative with your baby shower designs, bakers, but please, NOT LIKE THIS:

"The rare squiggle-spitting dingle-dangler immobilizes its prey with a unique 'spit net' that some cultures find quite tasty."


At first you think this is just another crocheted baby with exposed brains:

But turn the cake around, and... I'm just really confused.


Did anyone ever show you the trick of making a tiny footprint stamp with the side of your hand? And then you use your fingers to stamp the toes?


Well, then, did anyone ever tell you to keep your grubby hands off of other people's food?

Look closely.


In case you need MORE proof that bakers troll this site for "fun new" decorating ideas:

But you'll note there are STILL no air holes.


If that doesn't seem morbid enough for you, though, then how about a one-year-old's head on a tree stump?

I was about to say that at least this isn't a baby shower cake, but then I realized how much worse it is as a one-year-old's birthday cake:

"Look, kiddo! That's YOUR head! Do you like it? Look, I'm slicing off 'your' nose now, haha! Now, how big of a piece of your face do you want to eat? And why are you crying?"


And finally, I keep thinking bakers have reached the pinnacle of creepiness with their torso cakes: from protruding feet to perky nips to Wraith-hand-manicures, but I must say this is a new twist:

"I call it, 'Womb With a View.'"


Thanks to Anony M., Monique K., Cori M., Lyndsay S., Madina S., & Alexandra M. for the labors of... love? Ok, sure. Love.


Update from john- So it turns out the baby head on a stump cake is actually from the sweet, innocent, Slavik fairytale Kolobok.  In said fairytale, a yellow, spherical being (creepy baby head) becomes animated and escapes from its grandparents. (I'm still trying to figure out how a newly-animated spherical being even has grandparents.) In the end, like so many other sweet, innocent fairytales, the creepy baby head is eaten by a fox. So, ya know, not creepy at all. Sleep tight, kids!

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Reader Comments (67)

Ha ha! It must be indicative of my condition that the first thing I noticed in the "Womb With A View" cake is that the baby is breach. Ah, well, fourth babies don't get baby showers in my culture. :(

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBluecastle

um...shouldn't the womb with a view at least have a BABY in it?!?! not a 7 year old child with a full head of hair and a unibrow.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJac

The tree head cake gives whole new meaning to "mommy got your nose!"
Thanks for the giggles this morning. My family is gathered to say goodbye to my amazing mother. :*(

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Look you gave birth to a boy, and in 3D! It's a miracle! It's alive! It's tearing apart our flimsy 2D representation of the world! It's ripping space time! May god have mercy on our souls!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Folly

Womb with a view made me choke on my breakfast! Hilarious!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Last photo, I see a neanderthal child looking out of a cave.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

4.Gasp, gasp...
5.Dettucke zoguk, indeed.
6.The renown yogi was not as pure as everyone thought. He's coming back to give it another try. And also, OW!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Say what you like everybody but I for one say Cake #2 is quite creative indeed! Yup.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

The first pic is Russian (as it is clear from the inscription) and refers not to a baby's head but to a tale where a big bun-like character is present. Google Kolobok. The tale might seem creepy too but believe it or not we happen to be brought up with it for ages.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

I'm expecting, and after watching all of the horrible baby shower cakes featured here over the years, I told my husband the other week: "I want an alien chestburster cake for my shower." His response? "Dear, that's horrible!" (Accompanied by giggling, since he knows me) Which I promptly followed up with "If you were forced to be sober for seven months, with a tiny being controlling nearly all of your eating decisions, you'd understand..."

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKleo

Why's that lady hiding Gollum under her dress?

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

That baby head on a stump cake made me laugh my head off... because it's obvious they forgot the streaks and drippings of red glaze! >8-D

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sarah Sarah Lee

I must have woken up more chipper than I realized. My thoughts on the first cake: Hey! they got the doll parts in an anatomically plausible position!

I'm not generally such an optimist. I guess I'll have a good day?

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim L.

The "stump baby" was actually technically well (pardon the pun) executed. It did, however, sadly miss the mark on conception.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDONNA

My six-year-old was looking over my shoulder when I was looking at today's cakes. She sees the "crocheted baby with exposed brains" and says: "This is sooooo cute!!!!!" Then I scrolled down to the "rearview" of this cake and she wrinkles her nose and says:"This is not so cute!!!!!"
And she liked the baby head on a tree trunk so much that she wants me to make one for her - wonder what she would say once we started cutting in it ...

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMiA

The first cake is beautifully done (in its way) but who would eat it? Seriously, who would slice into that thing?
And who would eat Gollum peeking out of someone's belly?
Mysteries of the universe . . .

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Sorry for you jodee (((hugs))) as for those cakes...they should be used in teen pregnancy preventions courses D:

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The second cake makes the 'head on a stump' cake seem almost lovable.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

As terrible as that last cake is, I'd say it's still more palatable than say actually using an edible photo print of a sonogram *shudders*

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Dear Jodee,

So sorry about your mom. I bet she's had an amazing life and has been an incredible mother. :,-)

Hugs, prayers, and wishing I was there for you,

Karate Lady

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

the head on the stump actually reminds me of a Garbage Pail Kid, only without the gore. Concept, not so good, unless Garbage Pail was the goal (it should have had slime or something with it), excecution is actually kind of nice.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim M

And now something to bring a bit of levity...let's see...

Cake #1 - first thought is who's throwing baby out with the bath water?! And why celebrate it with a cake?!

Cake #2 - first pic - My! What a BIG baby!
Cake #2 - 2nd pic - It's an albino frog on a lily pad, over some lady drowning @ the bottom of the pond & screaming for help before she croaks...

Cake #3 - As someone with a degree in microbiology...MAJOR BIOHAZARD!!! (Especially if it's flu season!)

Cake #4 - CopyCats!!!

Cake #5 - ummm...cake for a future psychotic killer?! Or, hopefully, the parents just want their kid to be a successful actor. Slasher movies are usually your first major job after commercials so they're just trying to prepare little Timmy now so he won't freak out later & bomb his audition?!

Cake #6 - y'all win - beat me to Gollum, breech birth, etc. No fair! No good ones left! (Kudos to all! :-)

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Give it a few years. Soon enough they'll just slap a real baby on a sheet cake and cover it with a squiggly blanket of icing. Bon apetite.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonynon

First I thought, "Why would they make a cake representing David Bowie being squished by a giant baby? Labyrinth payback?" But then I saw it. eep.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh

Kolobok cake (aka head on stump) is not a wreck!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNatalia B.

Awww, @Jodee: So sorry to hear that. We are here for you.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

First, it's a wreck if Jen says it's a wreck. So there's that.

B, the first cake is a really well-executed baby being strangled by an afghan.

3rst, cake #2 appears to be a baby being born totally wrapped in an afghan. What's that about?

d, the dress on the gollum cake is also very well rendered. Too bad we can't say the same for the "baby".

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

#1: I didn't think morning sickness lasted AFTER birth, but I guess eating blue worms might do that to a person...

#2a: "...just another crocheted baby with exposed brains..." BWAHAHAHA!

#2b: My favorite parts on this cake are: 1)the baby has a green border. 2)Those two little green roses sitting forlornly off to the side.

#3: It's a boy...that apparently knows how to walk already. They should name that kid Wile E., cuz he's a SUPER GENIUS!

#4: HA! We found this baby's head! It's on cake #5!

#5: Very well done. Looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid. Still not sure why it's JUST THE to search Google...

#6: I'm inclined to agree with @Sam on this one...either way, though...I do not want to eat PEOPLE! Headless people, unborn people, famous people...NO PEOPLE, please.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea



May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@Lissa: AH! Kolobok is the same as the Gingerbread Man. It is supposed to be a bun, so, WHY does it look like a baby head? Because that makes it awesome. I'm adopting Kolobok in place of the Gingerbread Man just so I can serve a baby head on a stump. Heehee!

Okay, fine. I guess eating people ain't so bad. : - /

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Aha! #1 depicts baby's first Snuggie...that mom made out of blue macaroni? A preemptive macaroni strike in anticipation of all the noodle jewelry the boy will make for mom in pre-school?

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Aw, now that I've read about Kolobok, that's nice, and no more gruesome than the similar Western stories. I had a tiny "The Runaway Pancake" book when I was little, and I always wondered why that and not "The Gingerbread Man." Because I'm Nordic! w00t!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKittymama

My baby shower is in a month. We're having baseball cupcakes. (No, not a CCC, patooie!)

I made sure NO ONE is going to traumatize me with cake. NO ONE!!!! :-P

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAshley P

That is CLEARLY a crocheted adipose with its brains showing.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Jonathan Coulton has a song called Womb With a View: (and a lot of other awesome stuff too!)

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFan

I sorta like cake #2, but then again I have a soft spot for baby's heads. Ba dum dump!

I love the crochet baby cake. I think it totally in catches everything about child birth and the all the nonsense about newborns and cute clothes. My MIL crocheted everything - booties, sweaters, hats, blankets - she would have done the baby too if she could have. The look on the birthing mother is not only for the pain of child birth but for the pain of having to receive all those baby things she can't use!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

That second cake will leave me with WTF bubbles around my head all day.

The only good thing I can say about the third cake is, at least no one has to cut up body parts to eat it.

The last cake reminds me of the scene in "Scrooged" where Bill Murray gets on the elevator with the tall monster in the robe and hood. He pulls open the monster's robe, and 3 demons pop out from the monster's ribs. Murray looks at the monster and says, "Did our special effects guys do that?"

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC


I'm sure several of us on the board have been there -- I have.

SO looking forward to that great day when no one has to go through this anymore; it is coming, because He is coming.

Matthew 5:4


May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Um ... there is no rear view of Cake 2 for me. Was that removed?

And I'd just like to add to the comments on the 7-yr-old breech womb contents, BLACK lingerie? I guess that makes more sense than, say, lacy pink, considering where that cake rides on the grotesque-o-meter ...

[Editor's note- Sorry 'bout that. I'll try uploading the picture again. Feel free to email if you still can't see the pic. -john (thoJ)]

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

Ok seriously what in the world in wrong with people? I can't even begin to fathom someone going to pick these up from the bakery and going "Yep, just what I ordered!" and what type of baker makes something like this?! Cake 2 is looks like a giant baby is sitting on top of a woman and eating her...and the baby has the top of it's head chopped off! were they thinking?!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Oh, yuck!!! Especially the last one. O.O

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I feel an Epcot coming on. To the bunkers!!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChocolate Goddess

@Kleo... I made a alien Baby shower cake for my friend. He popped out the the belly with a bib and little hat on... She loved it but some of her family thought we were insane....

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

I had the opportunity to.see the Womb with a View cake in.person at Cake International last year. Although not my style it was clearly a very talented artist who had handpainted the baby. Inspiring!!! Can't knock the talent!! x

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

On the first cake, did someone grab an unsanitary babydoll and plunk it on the cake, covering it in frosting? That's what it looks like. Gross.

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercal331

Um... why is the "Womb with a View" mother wearing a french maid outfit?!

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Am I the only one who thought "Shroud of Turrin" on that last cake?

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Technically, Kolobok is not a baby head but a ball of dough. An old couple make it (him?) out of dough they have lying around the house and then he runs away. It's actually a lot like the story of the Gingerbread Man, except, you know, it has a creepy ball of dough instead.
The second cake... *shudder*

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatia

Oh, those crazy Slavs and their lighthearted tales of whimsy! You can see high poverty rates and years of crushing Communism did nothing to dampen their spirits. "Welcome to the world, little one. You'll most likely get eaten by a fox before your first birthday, but we take the bad with the good, don't we?"

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

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