My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Father Figures?

Yeah, yeah, I know Father's Day is over, but if I don't share these Wrecks now then I'll be the only one having nightmares. And we can't have that, now, can we?

Hold me.


"Hi there! I'm the face of your future nightmares!"

"See you real soon! Heehee!!"

Thank goodness for that plastic plaque; at least something here is edible.

So, what do you get for a #1 Dad?

I'll give you two guesses.

Here's a hint:

Thanks to Nicole B., Travis P., Sherrill R., Angie L., Melissa S., & Michael M., who, despite the nightmares, still prefer sawing logs, never mind. I totally just grossed myself out.

« Crazy Genes | Main | How We Made Dad Feel Special. Or Just Uncomfortable. »

Reader Comments (85)

That "Happy Father's Day" flotsam looks like the lid of a metal gift tin. Even less appetizing than plastic!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdawn

At least with the picks we don't have to worry about people misusing "your" on the cakes.

What IS that second one. I stared, and stared and stared. I just doing get it. I thought the next one was a soccer ball until you zoomed in on it. Hm. I still think it is.

And look, I think this is the first time I've ever seen "Poo Vader!" Poo Vader... FTL!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Ewwwww attack of the poo! And the poo fish is even multi-colored!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Wow. A bevy of wreckiness there.


June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

CW #1 - Are those eyes made of prunes?!?!?!

CW #3 - Left over World Cup soccer cake converted into a face?

The rest? Excuse me, I have to hurl.

wv: multerol
The stuff they add to icing to make it so shiny.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

#1: eww. it's smiling. and has prunes for eyes. Is this some attempt at a paternity test? what's with the random blue cupcake on the side?

#2: what the hell is that icing streaked thing? a fish? with a beak on backwards (or really big lips?) without fins it looks like something hatching out of an egg. or a plant.

#3: a soccer ball with a face? I'd be scared too. thanks for sharing. I think. (they forgot to cross the t. maybe it's a secret message... or a threat) Fal

#4: is that cracked lime Jell-o?

#5: why would they make a tie out of poo? I'm suggesting #1 is sarcastic. But they just couldn't find #2 Dad flotsam. Dad, you're a ****!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is that last one a fossil skeleton of an animal preserved in tar?

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What are those first few cakes even supposed to be?

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What a fabulous book signing party last night in Tempe! It was great to see th 39 cupcake entries, and I was amazed that there were two from yesterday's Father's Day post. Wreck on everybody!

Eew - that 3rd one looks like the creepy masked magician that gives away all the magic secrets! *shudder*

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Schwerin

Shouldn't the little sign on the tie cake (second from bottom) read "#2 Dad"? Sure looks like #2 to me. Just sayin'...

WV: soleliso (noun) An italian opera number celebrating excellence in shoe leather.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobert Williams

2nd to last one - it's the monolith of poo! Awesome.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristine

yuck. There are times where you don't have to cover things in jello. Well...wrestling comes, oh never mind.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Dear God I may never sleep again. Thanks a bunch.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe!

Oh,dear. The last cake with the poo football is dreadful. And does the second cake say "Happy Folher's Day"?

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

uh.. that was supposed to be a tie? Thank you, unknown anonymous for defining #5. I just had no clue.

Now as to the 'poo ball' -- amybe someone asked for a foot ball and couldn't speak well over the phone? We know how cell phone usage can 'break up'.

*Sigh*... nightmares personified in that -- that -- uh, "fish"???

This will be interesting as my visual verification is a little red x in a box in the top left corner.....

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, everything else aside... what's with that one blue cupcake in the first one?

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa

All I can say, what were they!
Certainly not edible! Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDrawn to Caricature

What is that random blue-iced cupcake in the first pic supposed to be? A superball? A mutated smurf? The nose in the picture is the scariest thing by far, but I just don't get that blue thing at all.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

I thought the "tie" was a sporan - you know, one of those purse/pouch things that Scotsmen wear to keep their kilts in place over their privates. The whole bunch makes me shudder. Norine

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I pointed at the last couple and asked my 21 month old what they were. She loudly proclaimed, "poopy!" So there's the expert opinion.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I love these.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Oh good god, what is wrong with people?

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My sister bought our dad a CCC for Father's Day. It was supposed to be shaped like a watermelon. As soon as I saw it, I thought of this blog. I joked to my sister that I was going to take a pic of it and send it in to Cake Wrecks, and she got mad. LOL

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

What the heck is #2???!!! Seriously, I can't figure it out and I can't even connect to anything related to Father'd Day! LOL

check out my blog:

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

I love how the reflections in the plastic lid on the last cake look rather like odiferous fumes...

(Also, when I first saw the pick on the "fish" cake, I thought it said "Hi Dad!" which would have been amusing for a mass-produced pick. Of course I was wrong. Sigh.)

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I think these are the most puzzling wrecks I've seen in a very long time. I furrowed my brows at each photo. What is that blue dot in the first one? What is that green jelly in the other one? I don't get it. Do people actually step up to the counter at the bakery, ask for the poo cake, happily place it in their shopping cart feeling like they just got a super deal and then skip away?

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not getting "tie" at all out of that one. Of course it has to be a tie because I don't know of any Father's Day poo volcanoes in the natural world. Though apparently pig-tailed raisin-eyed children exist in wreckerator world.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

The second one looks like a very anaemic Sideshow Bob, after he had one of his eyes explode.

I thought the last one, the pile o' poo with the picket fence on top, was

Never mind.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

The random blue thing in the first wreck is the infamous Twelfth Cupcake. The one that is advertised but not usually needed to complete the "design", so it's just randomly placed as a "decorative accent". I amuse myself by looking for this Rudolph of the CCC world, ignored by its overly-frosted reindeer brethren, waiting for the day it screams "I can't take it anymore!!" and inserts itself into the middle of the "design", demanding acceptance as an equal participant in the CCC wreckage.

Or something like that.

disclaimer: This is what meeting Jen and John does to you. =D
Had a great time last night at the signing, thanks for bravely coming to AZ in June! Carrie, Chris, and Nikolai

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

The first cake looks like a deranged Goldilocks!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog


worst cakes ever.

Please tell me no one tried to eat those. Those are Fear Factor quality.

The only thing to be done with them is load them in a catapult and launched at an unsuspecting enemy. Your dad would agree.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

The reflections in the plastic on the last one give the illusion that the poo-ball is steaming.

Or maybe it really is steaming.

Either way, ew.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJael

I'm pretty sure that second one is supposed to be a fish. You know, because all fathers like to fish. Right?

That first one... nothing says "Happy Father's Day" like having a blonde pig on your cake! Egad!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I agree with dawn that the flotsam is a gift-card tin. Which means either someone is really cheap and just stuck the lid in the cake, or someone has to purposfully put their fingers close to that "frosting" and risk losing their fingers to the chemicals therein.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRob W.

#1 has totally mystified me with the addition of the blue cupcake. Before that, it was just the ugly face of a mutant...something.

#2 appears to be a goat? Is there some tradition of wishing your father a goat? Comparing him to a goat? ("Thank this because I head-butted you last week? Jeez, just because a guy eats a few tin cans...")

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroballen

ewwwww... on the football poo cake, there appears to be brown run-off and smearing... takes me a place I don't want to go, we'll call it "hershey-squirts"-ville.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternicole

just when I think it's safe to go to the bakery again...

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

It's SOCCER HITLER!!!! Note that it doesn't say "Father"; they actually misspelled "Fuhrer"!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim S

People actually eat this stuff? Hectic.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

The second one reminds me (somewhat vaguely) of the Borg Queen. The pale skin, the elongated head, the random blueish tentacles/machine components to replace her hair...

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrandon

I *think* the second one is what happens when you try to mix SpongeBob SquarePants' DNA with Squidwards and then smash the offending creature with a nice flat rock. I'm not sure though...

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Wow. I mean, EEW! Who would ever buy these? I find it amusing though, that that #1 Dad pick is on the second cake and the second to last cake (i also first thought it said "hi dad").

What is the second cake? I can sort of figure out the others, but that one has me baffled.

Leftwinglock - your comment was so hilarious! I'm going to start searching for the rudolph of CCC's as well! lol!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

wow. thanks for pointing out the steamy reflection on the pooball. ew.

and I think you're all correct about the gift card tin lid. WTF!! Look how it even smooshed the Jell-O where they placed it. (How did they get the Jell-O to crack?)

another note about the poo-tie (that first Anon was me, Anon/Di). The way they made the design "concentrically" struck me funny the second time I looked at it. It's as if the flotsam in the middle made ripply waves in the pooblob. It's like poo in motion!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I think the second one is an opossum. I don't know why the second one would be an opossum, but that's what it looks like to me. Maybe because it's Dad's job to deal with roadkill?

(I remember once as a kid demanding that my dad pick up and help us properly inter a rabbit that had been run over on our block. My poor Dad; he put up with a lot!)

This is a truly disgusting collection of Wrecks. I'm not sure I could bring myself to eat any of them.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEve

Everyone needs a poo tie!

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

In defense of #6, I think it's supposed to be an ugly brown tie - and I think they executed the ugly part very well.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

The radioactive green one looks suspiciously like the background of the Incredible Hulk "Echo Stomp" cake design... yer supposed to scratch "cracks" into the pristine cake surface and spray it neon green (and in this case, slather it with piping gel, *urk*!) and then prop the Hulk figurine on it so he looks like he's "smashing" the cake.

Apparently, they discovered they were out of the Hulk figurines AFTER they decorated the cake top.

On to plan B, which is always "Throw a plastic topper on there and be done with it!"

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy M. Bennett

Is it wrong that I think the neon green jello cake would be cool if it had a slimy alien popping out of it? It is? Okay then.


June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's not that mysterious to me what that blue cuppie is there for.
See, the darn DEAL was--as the sticker says-- "12 CT" cupcake cake. And the "design" was comprised of only 11 cupcakes. Whoever was buying it counted, became irate, and demanded their money's worth ("Dammit! I want my money's worth! You trot another cupcake out here right NOW, or you're only getting $11!! What? No, I DON'T care what flikking COLOR it is! Just BRING it!")


June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>