My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Off Color Remarks

For many years now - in fact, for just about as long as I can remember - I've been Polish. Sure, I'm also Irish, German, Iroquois, Russian, and a shameful bit of Swedish that we don't talk about, but mostly I'm Polish. You can tell by my mom's maiden name which has 17 consonants and 2 vowels. But that's not the point.

The point is, my Polish brothers and sisters, that we of the Land of Pole have been the butt of jokes for many a year. And frankly, some cake decorators aren't helping the situation.

Allow me to illustrate.

This is the Polish flag:

Let's take a moment to admire it whilst humming the Polish National Anthem, shall we?




And now, allow me to present the Polish flag cake that brings shame on the land of my second great great uncle on my cousin's sister's husband's side:

What, the Wreckorator thought we wouldn't notice?!? Huh?

I mean, c'mon, our flag is way wider than that.

Thanks, Cristen. Oh, and for the rest of you: keep in mind that the two comment moderators here are me and my sister Anne-Marie, and we share slightly warped Polish/Irish mean streaks. So comment...carefully.

Best comment so far: ugh, I wouldn't touch that with a 6 foot Pole (wait, how tall are you?)-tjbmurph

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Reader Comments (76)

If only all the world's flags were made of tasty, tasty cake... world peace!

W/V: herievan - herievan cut me a slice of that monochromatic cake

-Canadian Sue "we have a leaf on our cake"

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! How do you even get frosting that color? and WHY would you?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPrism

As a proud Pu-kee (Polish on my mother's side, Ukrainian on my father's) I can't help but think that this was some sort of "Polish joke." Well, this is a new age and we don't have to take it anymore!!

Now, how many wreckerators does it take to change a light bulb?

Three! One to print a photo of a bulb on edible paper, the second to cover it in sprinkles, and a third to place it in the lamp.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Maybe he was colorblind?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dzienkuje, John,for sticking up for us (and our weird sense of humor)! I'm Polish through and through and proud of it!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFelicia Kramer

The color is disturbing. Like I might wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStuckinmypedals

As a fellow person with Polish heritage (and an unpronounceable maiden name to prove it), I sympathize. I recently had it pointed out to me that my email address (which is my initials followed by my current very German last name - which conveniently ends in z) looks like nonsense to the untrained eye. Never occurred to me. Still doesn't mean I want a poop-colored cake.

wv: hyxionge - not sure what it means, but it has enough consonants to qualify as a Polish last name!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

I can only imagine what they would have done to the Eagle Crest version of the Polish Flag!

By the way, how do you get "puce-that-dares-not-speak-it's-name" frosting color?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

A piece of brown cardboard? Yeah, that's totes Polish... uh... what were they thinking?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

But that can't be the flag. It can't.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

The only possible reason for that cake is if they included a tube of icing with it. You know, a "decorate the cake yourself" party. Just hoping that is chocolate because it looks disgusting.

Happy Poland Day, whenever that is.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I couldn't tell if that was frosting or a piece of a cardboard box. There is a World Flag Database which would have been helpful to this wreckereator (I think it's - I used it to make a French flag for a Three French Hens Christmas ornament one year). Anyway, how do you get a three-color, striped flag wrong? It's not like it's Swaziland or Fiji, or some other "busy" design.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like the picture was taken with the camera set to the sepia toning setting.

I can't imagine why anyone would choose that color scheme.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ugh, I wouldn't touch that with a 6 foot Pole (wait, how tall are you?)

let's go share a Sunay Sweet instead

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertjbmurph

Now that I think about it, brown is sadly missing from the flags of the world. Where are all the brown flags, countries?

Poland's flag, though, has got to be about the easiest one to reproduce, with the possible exception of Lybia's. Maybe the wreckorator is color-blind?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Just for you, John (and Anne-Marie), the Polish national anthem--in Polish with English subtitles (!!). I'm an Italian-Sicilian-Irish-German-Polish girl, so I get the "mean streak."

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Hmmm, one commentor calls the color on that cake "puce," and another says the Polish flag has three colors on it. Are we on the Island of Color-Blind here (to borrow a title from Oliver Sacks)?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Yay! I'm Polish too! Well, also a blend of other English-ish stuff, but my dad's side is pure Polish/Ukrainian (I guess the border where my ancestor's village was was right on the border, so as the border we say Polish/Ukrainian). My last name also has 1 vowel and 7 consonants (though I guess two of they Ys count as vowels). Go us! When I get married, I'm keeping it. It's super handy...when someone calls your house, you automatically know they're a stranger if they can't pronounce the name.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


We Poles just have a way of rockin' it.... but no one can rock that icing color.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

Also, is "Polish" the only word that is pronounced differently when it's not capitalized?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@:tjbmurph said...
ugh, I wouldn't touch that with a 6 foot Pole (wait, how tall are you?)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - that was funny!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Here's a Flash game based on something Polish people can actually be proud of.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

AND, I think it's upside down!!!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Anonymous -- No, I'm sure there are plenty of others. I grew up in a town called "Saline" -- pronounced "suh-LEEN" (as opposed to "saline," which is pronounced "SAY-leen").

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

This must have come from the Soviet occupation when everything was gray.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFiberQat

Wow. Happy Birthday, Zabel. I hope your birthday was filled with all you love most, and that your cake gave you a hearty laugh before you and your loved ones cut it into dozens of little bitty pieces and ate it.


September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

... Wow.

I'm curious to see their attempt at Libya's flag now. I suspect it would be the color of... I mean, yellow.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNimras

Rothko? Was not. Polish.

wv: entudeis. What we can entudeis from this work is that it is not art.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

How do you say "barf brownish-pink" in Polish?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Here's my best Polish joke:
A guy is walking around with a big stick. Someone asks him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
He replies, "No, I'm a Svede. But how did you know my name was Valter?"

Ha, see how I turned it around there?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Speaking as a fellow Polish/Irish girl, this cake is awful but Cake Wrecks rocks!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth S

Oh my! this cake is just, well I can't even expressed my feelings:P

I see there are many Poles here! Wow, I love this blog and visit often. I'm Pole too and live in Poland, so hugs and kisses to all my countrymen!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDoris

And that's not's Polish toilet paper. Ouchie!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HOW did they get Sandra LEE to decorate their cake with her FAMOUS DEEE-lishis [gag] cinnamon laced frosting??

Is Sandra Lee Polish? Do they cook with a lot of cinnamon? Do they like their icing with that gritty texture? [hack]

So many questions! Not enough barf bags.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mina

Maybe that wasn't supposed to be the flag, but the packaging that a flag might be shipped in...

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

That cake looks very unpolished.

W/V: redness - That cake is lacking it's redness.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGabster

Um, is that icing? Cardboard? Why, oh, why, is it taupe? Yes, taupe... that weird word that men cannot describe. Puce, btw, has some green in it, sickly green. *gulp*

As to being vowel challenged, I'm of German/Austrian descent, close to Poles, but still. We have one vowel in our name - and it's eight letters. I empathize.

Truly, how does one mess up a 2 color stripe flag? I fear for our cake future. Must have been a Chinese plot... watch out for the lead, too.


(You don't have some Chinese thrown in there, too, do you?)
Just Czech-in

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the saddest part is that it appears to have been made with that edible paper stuff and perhaps the ink cartridge was low and came out with poo color instead of red or the wreckerator thought it best to match the color....maybe no one will

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Speaking as someone with only two vowels in her 7 letter last name, I can tell you that that is the flag of the Polish-Ukranian border duchy of Pukerania...and we don't take kindly to our flag, which was inspired from a detail from a camouflage rag someoneone found, being 'dissed' on the 'Net..we challenge you to a bake-off..

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

Maybe the wreckerator is color blind and he/she is seeing a red and white cake.....hmmmm....if that is the case though...please someone tell them!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOur Crazy Family

How dramatic to used dry Polish blood on the cake for emphasis.

Never let history buffs bake cakes.


September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTal

That stripe is exactly the color you get when you mix together a whole bunch of left-over house paints. So, there's probably red in there someplace.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's a Pole? You do know that those Wikings went waping and pillaging all over Poland - there is a fine DNA difference between a Wiking and some Poles - especially in us blondes. And, of course, Poland is a slavic country with its boundaries changing on a yearly basis with the Russians and Germans/Austrians redrawing them for centuries. That's probably why we are so funny - not just because our last names are unpronouncable :-). Norine

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How do you screw up something so simple as the Polish Flag?

Next they'll screw up some poor Libyan child's birthday with a plain field of poo-brown cake.

(The Libyan Flag:

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChocoboos

Then you must know about Polandball, eh?


September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sorry gotta ask-how do we know that this is supposed to be a flag?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercharity_crafter

This reminds me of the MST3K episode where they make a quip about the soundtrack of the movie -- it sounds like the national (Mongolian? Czechoslovakian?) anthem. HIlarity." rel="nofollow">

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

What's so bad about being swedish?!
BORK >:(

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterÄmma

Maybe the stockers were screwing around with the computer monitor the night before, you know, turning people green and purple. When the boss caught them and told them to get back to work, they didn't have time to reset the colors. Then the decorator comes in and finds an order for the Polish flag. And thus was born another cake wreck.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Please tell me that is just a bad exposure on the photograph....I have no idea how someone managed to get a color that dull with frosting.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

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