My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hats Off For Hats

Tomorrow is National Hat Day.

I'll pause here to allow you time to grasp the magnitude of that statement.

[grasping magnitude]

Now, as every red-blooded, hot-dog-eating, slightly-balding American knows, nothing is more important to our national identity than the hat. From the traditional baseball cap...

Fun fact: Baseballs were originally square. Look it up. the sexy fedora...

Sex Y.


I said, "the sexy fedora."

There it is.

Now, where was I?

Oh, right.

Hats are a regular part of our lives. As such, we should cherish this regularity...

...ten gallons at a time.

Hats are also a great way to celebrate certain festive occasions.

Like volcano eruptions:

Or massive, unexplained squid migrations:

Or even just winning a race by a hare:

So today, let's use our heads.

And, of course, stay safe out there... matter how hard that may be.

Hey Mary R., Ellen B., Tonya M., Bridget E., Lindsey, ML, Erin G., Lindsey M., and Jo., no lie: it took me three months to realize that thing is supposed to be a hard hat.

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Reader Comments (86)

So do you think the first fedora's top is a twinkie cut in half covered in icing? That is all I can see. What a fun surprise if it is.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

The last one..... what is it?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArtemis

I don't know who that 8th cake is supposed to be, but he/she/it put me off cake for a month...

no lie, my wv is Mangi - that's some mangi hair on cake 8

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Number 5 looks more like a Dalek with a Winnie-the-Pooh gun than a volcano...

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Shagger? Shagger? WTF?!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

That second to last one looks like Brian Mcfadden!


January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRaffy

Why in the world would would you make a hat shaped cake (well, kinda) for a 5 yr old girl's birthday? Poor little Laura .......

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatmania

OH MY GOD that last's a hard hat, I guess, but did they have to do it in a pink fleshy tone? Eeeewwwwww.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, Jen, ya gotta stop grasping magnitude in public!


Like yesterday's post, this one also put a song in my head -- Allen Sherman singing The Mexican Hat Dance, which contains the immortal lyrics:

". . .There are Mexicans dancing on derbies.
There are Mexicans dancing on caps.
They just throw their fedoras
Wherever the floor is,
And start doing horas and taps."

Love that internal rhyme!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Congradulamationish Shagger birthday wishes. For whatever that last thing is.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimiheart

I guess it depends on what kind of "hard hat" we're talking about, right? Sorry, was that too much?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

"...regularity." Heheh:) Good one!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJustAnotherBlogger

The third one is a double wreck in that they spelled the word CongraDulations. Doh!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me or is that face cake Gary Busey on a good day? And the last one, wow, just wow.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStuckinmypedals

Here we go again ... the shared birthday cake. Laura is turning 5 and has 5 candles, while unnamed sibling is turning 6. What could be more appropriate than a fedora cake. Topped with iced Twinkies. Yes, Ryan, that was the first thing I noticed, too.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I also saw Gary Busey.. scary.... and that first one- It's supposed to be a hat? I thought it looked more like a grave site for 2 dead twinkies.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

The last one looks like a Romulan death mask! Crazy!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkprentice

A hard hat? Really? I don't think so.

And maybe poor Laura really likes Indiana Jones.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I find that pink dome shaped thing with 'shagger' written on it positioned beneath the scarily goitred hairy blonde man-cake really disturbing. Shagger does mean the same thing in the US as it does over here, right? ..erk.....

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I am so glad Google Ads put up "Fedoras! At" in my feed reader on today's post. Google is stalking you, and not doing a very good job of it.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeela

I dunno, I think if you look at those 10-gallon hat cupcakes upside down, they're really just poo butterflies...

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Are those twinkies on the first fedora?

My mother wears hats quite often. I wonder if knows of the celebration for tomorrow?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergingerzing1967

#1: see, the blind albino legless striped turtle doesn't like square baseballs either. He's either pouncing on it or shying away from it.

#2: WHY would a five year old girl need a fedora for a birthday cake?? what are these parents thinking? maybe it's really supposed to be a hot dog bun minus the hot dog for some strange eating fetish? I just. don't. Or maybe she likes to play dressup in "boy clothes." from the 50's.

#3: okay, a lumpy WHITE fedora. kinda pimp-like. I'm a little suspicious of Brandi's profession...and maybe Matt's. Are they celebrating a successful week?

#4: ah, poo hats with red ribbon and blue flowers. what COULD be the occasion? maybe for the pimp's bridal party.

#5: Poor Pooh and Tigger trying to escape that hideous volcanic eruption and hot lava spots! going over the side in a barrel (er, honeypot)

#6: looks like a tarantula that had a little too much to drink at a Christmas party and got left behind, passed out in the mess with the confetti, the hat, and the green hue...He looks so lonely. I kinda like that cake! I see a story happening here.

#7: is that an Irish turtle? looking a little leprachaunish there

#8: dude, that head is scary. the hair, the skin, the huge chin, the creepy eyes staring at me....

#9: LOL Shagger cake! which end is up? smooth, flesh colored fondant...."Shagging" is slang in Britain for "adult activities" involving nudity. WHAT is going on with that cake? I'm not convinced it's a hard HAT

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I'm not going to say what these "hats" really look like. I'm not. I'm not. I won't do it. No, you won't drag me into that muck.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

And you didn't even point out the fact that Congratulations is spelled wrong on the fedora cookie!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

#4 to me looks like four little poo frog faces with a green fly crawling across them, leaving a red trail along the way.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

oops....BLUE flies on #4.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

You don't think the "Congratulations" one is a strapless wedding dress?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

The last one looks like the top half of a Kewpie doll.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ConGRADulations? are white fedoras getting confused with graduation caps? or is it from pimp & ho school?

@Sandy C: grave site for two dead twinkies? LOL
@Katie: if Laura likes Indy Jones, I'm glad her mother had the wisdom to NOT include the whip. glad "Shagger" doesn't have a whip either, for that matter!

wv: sumbra. what a drunk non-mexican person remembers as a "sombrero."

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

if that white thing is a strapless wedding gown, it's awfully SHORT. (and looks like a shortened version of what was on "My Fair Wedding" last night)

wv: fiestso. Events calling for big hats.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That penultimate cake reminds me of Brett Favre. Good thing it was a cake of his head....


January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Kate, I thought the same thing... and I prefer to think of it as a slightly wrecked pimp hat and not a totally wrecked dress..... though maybe the bride is deformed and the dress was drawn to match the custom-made dress that would fit her weird, deformed body?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth C.

I am laughing and laughing, guys the comments are almost funnier than the cakes!
Im nearly ROFL
best stuff this week .

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

HEY- that Head cake looks like my exboyfriend from college. Seriously. He was ALL chin. Slightly better looking than the cake, and WAY smarter. I hope.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarolina Nightingale

"Shagging" still makes me giggle, because everywhere else, it means what you think it means. But here, in South Carolina, it's a dance. The official dance of South Carolina, actually. It's kind of like a really slow swing dancing, so it's not even interesting to watch, in my non-Southern perspective. But I will never forget the first time I saw a resume where someone had listed "Shagging" as a personal interest--it was then that I had to start questioning my decision to move here.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! Ten gallons of regularity.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie W

Nothing says "fun!" at Laura's birthday party like a brown hat cake! Now wait... is Laura 5 or 11? Or 5th at being 11? Wait, I'm confused.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

This post has reminded me of a wonderful thing. If you have never seen" rel="nofollow">Hats of Meat before, you need to. Seriously. No, really.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat

@Anonymous at 11:43-- O.o I hope that person never applies for a job outside South Carolina. Can you imagine the reaction to that item on their resume if it isn't for a job in the porn industry?!

#1 Given that's a CCC (patooie), that means they are using *round* cupcakes. So 1 cupcake = a round baseball. Make a bat out of the extra three cupcakes rather than a square ball!!

#2 Maybe poor Laura's a fan of riding? And it was easier to do an oddly-proportioned but at least well-iced hat than a horse?? Oh wait, that's not a helmet. And there's 11 candles... hope she can't count yet! And why is the Happy birthday not written below the Laura 5th?

#3 A very short poufy-skirted strapless wedding gown for a very fat bride? Or one of those massive white hats worn in-- Texas, I think??

#4 Those don't look like hats. they look like flaccid anatomy... would biting in to them make a woman a Bobbitt-wannabe?

#5 I hope that recipient isn't scared of clowns. Or their hats! And why is Winnie and Tigger sitting on its side??

#6 It does look like an algae covered squid... or else it's one of yesterday's pompoms under a party hat?

#7 A hat-wearing unhappy leprechaun turtle? for a birthday?? Yeah. Well, at least that store did it as a cupcake mosaic rather than a CCC...

#8 Given that probably took quite a bit of time, I bet that the decorator was very proud of that cake, and would be horrified to learn it's considered a wreck. With a chin that size, I think that guy is related to a former Canadian prime minister...

#9 Aren't construction site hard-hats supposed to be yellow to make the wearer more visible? Because that looks more like a "hat" on another "hard" "head". And the "shagger" applies more to the latter than the former!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

#1 These aren't even cupcakes, they're brownie bites. With that as a scale guide, perhaps a cupcake would have been a better choice for the baseball? But that's why I'm not a wreckerator, I suppose.

#2 Happy Birthda, y Laura 5th! The evolution of language is a fascinating study, as is pondering the significance of the fedora or the counting skills of the candle person.

#3 Matt & Brandi. From graduation to reception, in the same limo. On the same day. Oy.

#4 Turn them upside down, they're butterflies! The versatility of poo is truly amazing.

#5 Continuing the theme, the wreckerator helpfully included characters from Winnie-the-POOh on the clown hat to help explain... absolutely nothing.

#6 And again. I guess the wreckerator ran out of brown frosting. Or some bystander, knowing what was about to happen, hid it all.

#7 Sometimes, the labels provide a clue. Not this time. Ya can't give what you don't have.

#8 Poor Harpo. Everyone warned him about steroids, but he just wouldn't listen.

#9 Shagger, BAABYY! Is that styrofoam?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I was so distracted by the, um, skill required to make a square baseball out of round cupcakes that I'm going to have to go back later to appreciate the other wrecks fully. Seriously, how DO you make a square creation out of round objects to represent a round object? It really boggles the mind.

Oh, and as if I didn't already have the Indiana Jones theme song stuck in my head from rewatching one of them the other day... Excuse me while I go find my whip and hiss that I hate snakes.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

The funniest thing about this post is that every cake today also has so many other funny things going on besides the wonky hats.

Like "cake" #1. Brownie bites frosted like a CCC? Really? Am I the only one gagging at the notion of all that white frosting mounded upon a brownie? Yuck!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

I would never have guessed that the last one was a hard hat. It probably would have taken me years of guessing to get to that.

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEagle Archambeault

OMG that CHIN that CHIN!

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor


When I saw cake #6, my first thought was, "Happy birthday, Cthulhu!!" I wouldn't want to be the one to present him with that cake, however...

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJude


January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Re: #2..I couldn't swear to it, of course, but I think Laura's fedora is in honor of Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb. Or really...his alter-ego, Agent P:

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWriterLor

Is the last one a cervical cap?

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Cake #2: This, it seems, is Indiana Jones's little-known Stetson hat. Although, tbh, the brim looks like it got steamrolled, if they'd just cut off that edge in front between the Twinkies it really wouldn't have looked quite that terrible!

WV: bellytoo: what that last cake looks like (shudders).

January 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ. R. W.

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