My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Now This One Really Slays Me

Things I just learned:

1: In the adoption process, the day the Consent to Adoption is given is known as the Execution Day.

2: That's not as chipper-sounding as you might think when iced on a cake:

...well, unless we're talking about a wood chipper. Then, maybe.


3. A photo of Dora being attacked by a monkey is so. not. helping.


Thanks to Megan G., who tells me something here was "lost in the translation."

I'm guessing the picture of the wood chipper.

« Wedding Whoopsies | Main | Say What? »

Reader Comments (69)

Is that...cheesecake? Cheesecake-esque frosting? Why is it glistening? And why do I find this more important than the original point??

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Dora, DIE!!! said the purple monkey MWHAA HAHAHAA
*Sqeaky voice* WHY???? *--- voice* TO KILL YOU MY DEAR


December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergiggle master

I didn't know a Sharpie marker would work on a cake. So I learned something, too.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

My first thought was maybe there is a file in it.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersilenus

I can only imagine the baker's thought process when they saw that one. "Worst case scenario: serial killer taunting the child he has locked in the basement. Oh, well, as long as I'm getting paid."

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The idea behind it's not bad, but the execution is terrible. (Also, seriously, there are a lot of pointy bits among the kiwi, and it's kind of glossy and freaky and the letters look like they got shoved half a centimeter to one side.)

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKara

Wow! and not only does it read funny, it's an ugly cake to boot!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

They say you can have anything you want for your last meal.
It looks like somebody wanted cake.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I've never heard that term. I've always heard it referred to as "Gotcha Day". The word 'execution" should never be used anywhere in the adoption process! With Dora and Boots? YES!! Adoption? No.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

And what are all those pointy looking things all over the cake? And the black-ish things that look like dried leaves? Stuff that looks like broken glass bits does not equate with welcome and deliciousness.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWroena

Long time listener, first time caller...oh wait, that's for Mr. Obvious...

Today we're starting test execution, so this was wonderfully topical! We may have to order a homage (and send pictures, of course!).

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEd

Are those black bits the charred remains of the execution repreive, signed by the gov? So many things wrong with this cake, so many, many things. *headshake*

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasry


December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I am kind of in love with this cake... although, the explanation takes away some of my glee. I should go look at it again!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I think the black leaves on the flowers add just the right 'execution' touch.


December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Contorted prunes mourn.
Inscription weeps and stomps around.
Purposeless kiwis.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Are those slugs on the cake?

And what's written next to "11-1o-11"?

Very creepy, even without the Dora picture.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

We use the term "Forever Family Day" which sounds a LOT better than "Execution Day!" We've never ordered a cake, but I might make one! It will not contain neither Dora nor Boots!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLesley B.

Point #4 - the mini black arm bands and green slimey slug like objects....also not helping

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjuliebt

and it looks like a there is a long hair on the cake too

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrivenis

Apparently, the wreckerator was so proud of their work, they signed the cake.

You can see it there right after the date.

It reads, "Hannibal Lecter"

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

SueBee, Gary and Haiku Joy: Hee!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Given all the implied threats (Dora / pointy / shiny / things of questionable identity), maybe 'execution' is the operative term.

Is that a signature next to 11-10-11? If so, and given the apparent registration problem on the inscription, it looks as though we have a flotsamized cake that was also run through a printer. ('Could' and 'should' may rhyme, but they are not synonymous.)

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Excellently ironic mixture! I love it, and I haven't even tasted the cake yet.

I'm always on the lookout for combinations like this!!!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Wow! That icing looks scrumptious! (We don't have to be negative about everything.)

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlice the Camel

Well, remember: "a hug is a strangle you haven't finished yet"!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRaybob

Jen, you should have left out the explanation of the term "Execution Day." I believe that may have led to an absolutely fabulous EPCOT. I think I'll just go create this scenario in my head.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

On a day that's supposed to celebrate absolutes, all this cake does is raise questions. Questions like: what are those black things that look like dried-up leaves? Why did the decorator write across the picture so you can barely read half the inscription? What did the decorator write the inscription WITH, for that matter--it looks like it bled...I didn't know frosting did that? Why use kiwis--the color is not particularly cheerful? Was this decorator insane or just incompetent?

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

i think those "black thingies" are actually little shards (écorce) of dark chocolate. At my job we do the écorce thing, but with white or milk chocolate. I imagine in a picture, and with black, dark chocolate it would look as confusing as what is up there.

Is it me, or there is a "shadow" of the writing? Did the decorateur had to redo the writing and was too lazy to properly scrap it? (And scale it)

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervinie

Buyer: I want a cake that says "Congratulations on the Adoption."
Bakery employee: Let's see ... Can ... grad ... du ... la ... sion ...
Buyer: Uh ... better make that "Happy Adoption."
Bakery employee: Happy what?
Buyer: A-dop-tion.
Bakery employee: How do you spell that?
Buyer: Oh, the heck with it. Just write "Happy execution day," OK?

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I was trying to figure out what the texture of that icing reminded me of and I think I finally got it; the tin of bacon grease my dad used to keep beside the stove.
To distract myself from that puke-provoking thought I wondered what the person at the bakery who took this order thought of it, and here's what I imagined, borrowing from The Beatles "Revolution":

You say it’s for an execution
Well, you know,
“Happy” might not be the word.
Injection or electrocution?
Well, you know,
Could be best the message blurred.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Is it just me, or does the whole thing look like it was written with a Sharpie?

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

It looks like Dora is surrounded by fangs. (You want 'positive', you got it.)

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

If it's Dora getting executed, that's fine with me. May it be a long and painful one.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStarbuck

.. is that broken porcelain cup shards on it? ... I don't really understand the white frosting things.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeccaboo

I don't have a problem with an adoption cake (my step-dad adopted me and my mom adopted my step-brother and sister -- in fact, the law being what it was, in order for me step-dad to adopt me, my mom had to, as well... Don't ask. I don't understand, myself). I'd have loved one.

I don't get why ANYONE would choose "Execution Day" instead of "Adoption Day".

Or why you wouldn't:
1) try the marker out to see it worked
2) try the spacing of the letters first

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke

It's not frosting, it's a Kiwi Cake with pudding, and the words were most likely written with a food marker. Although, it's the black petals(?) that confuse me. I just want to ask why??

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRandom

Are those fangs all around the edges? Or broken handles of coffee mugs intended for use as shivs?

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Mc

@zoomom: Brilliant, as always!

Based on the shape of the numerals and the Arabic-looking signature, this may be a case of an ESL decorator. That doesn't give the wreckorator a pass, but it could explain some things. The spacing is still atrocious, the frosting is way too shiny, and what is with the kiwis?...

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

The writing next to the date appears to be Arabic, but I'm not sure what it says.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentert.m.

That cake confuses me more than it should...why is it shiny? Why are there green olives and black things as decoration? why is the writing too big? Gaaaah!!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

I'm glad other people have suggested the black squiggles are slugs or charred leaves ... I thought maybe they were Mo-vember rejects.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershannon w

Are. Thoes. Kiwi Wedges? ? ? I am soooo confused and why is DORA on an excecution cake? Did they adopt Dora??

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

Cat feces as a cake decoration? Why not? And that shine is downright creepy.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

The "scribbles" to the right of the date looks like something written in Arabic or Persian. I think it's Arabic, but I can't really tell.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnemarie

Rivenis, I thought the same thing! A hair is on the cake!

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Ah, must have been the Judges' turn to order the cake for the sentencing party...and he's got a sense of humor, how charming....

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

On the positive side:: Dora is still smiling. On the negative side: everything else to do with this cake.

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

LOVE the juxtaposition! So rare and so tempting...

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNever mind who this is

"Hola, I'm Dora, and this is my friend, Boots. Today, we're going to talk about why I'm in therapy. That's "terapia" in Spanish. Can you say "terapia?" Bueno!"

December 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>