My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Start Me Up

Olga O.'s son is "obsessed" with gas stations, so for his birthday she ordered a cake "featuring a gas pump with diesel and regular handles."

"This is what arrived tonight," she writes. 

"We'll be making nozzle jokes for a long, long time..."

Jumpin' Jack flash!

 It's a gas gas gas!


Thanks to Olga and her baker for making a grown (wo)man cry...with laughter. I'd say I can't get no satisfaction, but to be honest, wild horses couldn't drag me away.

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Reader Comments (54)

Thank you the baker for not including the car's receptacle as well. We don't want any more black barred cakes around here.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Oh, how tacky! But terribly funny.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

" 'Cuse me, sir, but your nozzle looks a bit droopy. May I pump that up for you?"

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Sung to the Pina Colada Song (Escape) Note – Contains a body-part word that starts with “p” (and is NOT pspleen…)

It was my sweet son’s 4th birthday
He’d liked gas stations so long
So I ordered him a cool cake
To eat right after the song
Then the day of the party
I bought balloons, plates and straws
Next I went to the bakery
And here’s what I saw:

It was a penis colossus, smack dab there on his cake.
It looked slightly necrotic. I did a massive spit take.
“If you think that this is what I want, then you’re really half-baked!
I want the cake that I ordered. This must be a mistake.”

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Looks like some sort of poo moray eel peeking out of the right side, as well!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMumsykat

Bravo, Sharyn! As for the cake, the less said, the better.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

A flesh-toned gas nozzle? That must be the sexiest gas station ever!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

Bwahaha sharyn as for the cake, I think blind people must make these-how else to explain them? O_o

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

If you like the gas nozzle, you should've seen the hose!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

The cake itself cracked me up. And the idea that they would "draw" this for a 4 year old!!!!!! Then I read Sharyn's little ditty. . .oh me, oh my! Wow!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertexairhead

Ah Sharyn, I will never be able to hear that song again without singing 'penis collossus'......genius!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Now, normally i hand the laptop straight off to my daughter so we can share a hearty guffaw over the wreck of the day. Today the little tan awkward monster has creeped in and reared his ugly face.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.Germany

@Aliza - bravo!!!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Must... look...away...

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Was the baker high? This was for a 4-yr old, not a batchelorette party. Any normal, sane person would stand back, look at the nozzle on the cake, scrape the frosting off and try again.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

At least the baker did not try to include fuel pumping out of the nozzle.

This reminds me of the infamous Costco Fireman cakes.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Sharyn is quite brillant - she should be getting paid good money for her ditties!

As to this cake - I wonder what the little boy's comments were when he saw this!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Sometime it takes me a minute, but this time I saw it right away. There should be a new wreck category: Freudian wrecks.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

Oh dear. I would never, never allow my child near that thing. I think it may be viral. And yes, I, too, will be hearing penis collossus in my head all day. And it's a very accurate description, unfortunately. Ew.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeesMom

Do these cake decorators know how to pick up a phone and ask for clarification if they're not sure what they person ordering the cake meant?

Or -- even scarier still -- did they just shrug and actually believe this is what they meant?!? For a 4-year-old? Sigh. . . .

As for Sharyn: I hate, loathe and detest that song and firmly believe every copy of it should be banned from the universe. Until now. "Penis colossus" indeed! I'm going to smile and giggle every time I hear it now! BRAVO!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm... not really seeing it? Gas nozzles (most nozzles, come to think of it) are pretty phallic to begin with, and this is a badly-drawn nozzle, but... it's no carefully positioned, flesh toned fire hose with a funny little dent in the end, is what I'm saying.

I'd be singing a different tune if they'd added "balloons," of course.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Paint it black. The whole cake, I mean.

At last, a sequel to the Fireman Cake.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Guess I know where I'm going after Magic Mike is over! I was thinking "cold shower," but the gas station sounds like such a better idea now for some reason!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret Thatcher

aahahahahahaha Sharyn you are awesome! Nearly made me choke on a fun-size Heath bar, but awesome! :D

The cake, not so much. Yikes.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

OMG I did a literal spit-take when I saw that picture...with that gray icing it looks like a chrome-plated member with confidence issues!! And what is up with the green "peas" randomly framing the nozzle? Is it supposed to be a subliminal reminder of pee (pea)?

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNicole S.

I. CAN'T. BREATHE. Hahahaaa *tears* And I haven't even read the posts yet! Gotta get control of myself before I gas up. HAHAHAHAHAAA

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErika :0)

Kudos, Sharyn, for my 2nd spit take after seeing the cake... :)

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

It's a double header.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFredo

If there was a model for this "nozzle" he should get checked out. The redness has me worried for him!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterUTstatsgirl

I am wondering if the poor child will not only be confused by the "p" pump, but the random green blobs....I mean, there are 5 of them....I would think 4 green blobs would have been much more appropriate

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteraatheee

Sharyn, laughing so hard it hurts, not doing my bronchitis any good but, girl you are a genius.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteryoungharvard

LOL. Oh my goodness, tears of laughter in my eyes... especially with Sharyn's song. Just so many thoughts... how...? ... why...? The baker must have been to a bachelorette party last night and just couldn't resist the temptation. At least the 4 year old probably didn't get the joke.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCookyanimal

I honestly can't figure out how to make this thing look like any sort of nozzle at all. I really thought it was a very, very sad rocket. Houston, we have a problem!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I think the cake needs a urologist. It isn't looking very well.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMoe


June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiddleymaz

Sometimes, I think one of those edible pictures would've been a better choice. Wow! I don't think I've ever seen a gas pump with a knobby bit on the end. Does the wrecker ever pump gas?

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

At least the nozzle wasn't black. For regarding gas pumps, if you go black, you...

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark A

I'm seeing an uncircumsized phalyus. Imagine my relief that I'm not the only one!!! What a horrid birthday cake.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternoel_nicole


June 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephant

@TLC -- I absolutely agree with you about that song -- writing today's version was cathartic (not to be confused with "catheter," which this poor cake might need...)

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I squinted. I flopped my head to the left. I flopped my head to the right. I re-flopped while squinting.

Still can't see a gas pump much less diesel and regular handles...see something else, though. Yup, right there, Ummmm hmmmmmmmm.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Lol I hope the poor kids parents weren't too busy trying not to laugh so as not to explain what that looks like..sheesh.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Well, at least the 4 is nice.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermakfan

I saw the cake and thought "hey what's (ex boyfriend's name) penis doing on a cake??" Then realized it was supposed to be a gas pump...uhhhh yeah not so good.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterthebabyfox

"It looked slightly necrotic. I did a massive spit take."

Best lyric ever! HA!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Fill 'er up!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmyhubby

Wow, my son (also obsessed with gas pumps, glad to know he's not the only one) just had a birthday. Glad I didn't think to ask for one on a cake. Probably, it's good as a rule to not ask for any cake to depict an item that has words like "pump" associated with it anyway.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercc

Do not move while the nozzle is calibrating.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Oh. My. Gosh. This cake is atrocious. As others have stated, I don't understand how the wreckarator thought this was anything close to what was ordered - sheesh!

And Sharyn, you have outdone yourself this time! I was catching up on yesterday's post, and was grateful that I wasn't at work when I read your comment. I laughed uncontrollably for quite a while. You have added several new lines to our repertoir - Brava!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

This is my Birthday too!! I didn't have a chance to see the wreck-tastic-ness of my day of birth, but this, my friends, was the (somewhat flaccid) icing on the cake!!! THANK YOU!!!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

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