Do We Have To Pay Royalties For This?

On June 27th, 1859, sisters Patty & Mildred Hill wrote the most famous song everyone-hates-to-sing: the Happy Birthday song.

Then, at some point I'm too lazy to look up, someone else decided we should honor that song's birthday with a national holiday/birthday celebration. Which is way too meta for this hour of the morning. But whatever. You know the drill: sing the stupid song and you'll getcher cake. Capiche?


Haaappy biiiirthdaaaay,
Tooo you!

"I HATE this song."

"Shaddup, kid."


(Now like you're drunk!)

Haaappy biiiirfday,

Tooo joo... ooh, I think I'm gonna be sick....


(Now like you forgot the person's name!)

Happy BIIIRTHDAY dearrrr...

...Oa...v... gAAAABBY!!


(Now like you're at a Japanese steakhouse!)


(That handwriting is the visual equivalent of having a metal pot placed over your head and falling down a flight of stairs, so...appropriate.)


(Now like you forgot how many verses there are!)

Happy BIRTHDA...

Wait, I think we're supposed to be done...

Do we get cake now? Oh, good. Never mind.


Thanks to Dawn S., Solange A., Parsl, Kristina, & Sandy ...And NO SINGING!