My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Darth Vader Gets Wrecked

This weekend John and I are attending Star Wars Celebration here in Orlando, so of course I have to honor the occasion the best way I know how: mercilessly mocking Darth Vader cakes.

 This one, for example, looks like a codfish. 

Granted, I don't actually know what a codfish looks like, but I imagine it must be kind of silly and wet-looking, which makes them practically twins.


And this one fits "scruffy-looking nerf herder" to a T:

Wait - I just realized there's no "t" in "scruffy-looking nerf herder."

Ok, it fits it to a "scruffy-looking"


When I was a kid I found this nifty stone-texture spray paint at Home Depot, and proceeded to paint everything I could get my hands on, including my room's wall switches, door handles, and lamps. My parents were lucky people, y'all. Anyway, apparently this baker had the same fascination:

But at least this one is icing. So you really can't take it for granite.



Speaking of stone, I'm not sure what happened to this Darth:

...but it looks like he's having an avalanche.


And here's the one they found flattened under the rubble:



This is technically the best Darth of the bunch, and that's really saying something:

Something about sweat, and tears, and purple poo.

(Oh, you've never eaten a bunch of black fondant before? Then never mind.)


I saved my favorite for last, of course.

("I've got a bad feeling about this...")


Darth Droopy!

"Heavy bweathing."

You know what? That makes me sad.


Oh, and if you're also at Star Wars Celebration this weekend, be sure to look for me and John! I think you're going to like the little pins I'm giving away:



Hey Heather S.,  Arielle C., Luci, Brenda J., Clare, Leah S., & Julie Anne D., who's your daddy?

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Reader Comments (80)

I need those pins, please sell them. The squashed Vader doesn't look bad, just incomplete. The others D:

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

There's just something about black icing that just is NOT appealing, especially not in the quantities used in these poor excuses for Darth Vader. Poor guy must be hanging his head in shame. Oh, and the brown pooh icing seen so often is also not appealing, but I don't know which is worse --- the pooh brown or that nasty black. Ugh.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

That fourth Darth Vader cake reminds me of Shredder
Have a great time!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Have fun! And may the FORKS be with you!

(get it? "Forks"? Because the... nevermind...)

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTheGreatWhiteDope

I love those pins and Droopy Vadar. Poor Darth Vader, he is like a wrecky free for all. Oh, I loved that 'texture' spray paint. Came in handy for prop making in theatre!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Man, now I want to go to the Star Wars celebration... except we already have plans to go to Kentucky. Sad. Kind of like Darth Droopy (and his extended family up there).

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Sung to “The Love Boat” theme (Because there were a lot of times I wanted to force choke that show…)

Darth, exciting and new
With the Force, he’s expecting you
Darth, the meanest Dark Lord
Make him mad, and he’ll force choke you

Darth Vader doesn’t like looking like a black cod
Darth Vader as a nerf herder looks really odd
Stone Darth has an adventure
His body’s an avalanche

Darth’s been pressed to the floor
He’s a shiny guy, from whom sweat will pour
It’s Daaarrrrttthhh! It’s

Darth Droopy gets quite annoyed when his features run
He looks like a melting walrus left in the sun
Hey, you wanted adventure
Watch that Pretty Pony prance

Find Jen, for a pin you can score
She’s there somewhere dressed as Lady Vadore
It’s Jeeeeeennnnnnnn! And
(Hi Jooohhhhnnnnnnnn!)
Use the Force!!!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I actually thought the squished one looked kind of cute, like a begging puppy. You know, with those big eyes and floppy ears.
But maybe that's just me.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

Are you sure the first one isn't a bad impression of a sand person?

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

If you hadn't told me that the first one is supposed to be Darth Vader, I don't think I would have come up with that...

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Will you be at DraconCon next weekend?.........another good place to get a dose of Darth Vaders.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The first one is looking at me in a funny way...

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

The second one looks more like a failed Cyberman cake than a failed Vader cake... I'm almost impressed.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

The first one looks like a burned Cthulu!! OMNOMNOM CTHULU!!!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkalashnikitty

To me, that last one looks like what happens when a Wookie gives in to the Dark Side... Darth Chewie, anyone?

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Oh, I think the third one looks pretty gneiss. Har, har, groan.

Hopefully there are some other geology nerds out there.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

The first one looks like something out of Dr. Who. I don't know why but I just can't remember what to call it.........

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

He's melting,meelltiiinnggg!!

Wait,wrong film.Never mind.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

LOLOL Sharyn

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That second to last one, the shiny one (the "best" one), seriously bothers me. I don't know why, but the glistening helmet totally creeps me out... And so does the nerf herder, now that I look back at it.

But yeah... lots of purple poo and black stained lips and teeth. Attractive!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarahB

I also think that the smushed one is pretty adorable. Still wrecky, though.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

The third picture in looks more like Cobra Commander got a new face covering more than Darth Vader!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne

The first one has me thinking "Darth Zoidburg"

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterthal1321

Some of them look like Darth is crying out for mercy. That's sad.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I think the second one looks like the offspring of Darth Vader and C3PO.

@Sharyn funny as always, but now I have the Love Boat song STUCK in my head! gahhh GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT! LOL

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Other than thinking the last one looked more Deputy Dawg, I think you got them all right

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I totally spit iced tea onto my laptop after reading your comments.


August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndie

The squashed heads look sort of Olmec-ish.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

i think if the top one had slightly bigger eyes and was green - could TOTALLY rock the sleestak know from that 70s saturday kids show, Land of the Lost???

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteralisa

The first one looks like a black sleestak !

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Darth Ood, anyone?

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

I'm fairly certain one of those was actually Dr. Doom, not Darth Vader.
Or maybe Dr. Vader? Darth Doom?
In any case, bakers really should keep their fictional villains straight!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkashuneko

#4 looks more like Dark Helmet than Darth Vader, if you ask me.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Sad Vader is sad. These make me weep. I would say something about the power of the Dark Side, but obviously it isn't as powerful as one would hope. *sigh*

And Sharyn? *claps claps claps*
Standing O, baby. Standing O.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

I want a darthridingpony mug to match my other cakewrecks mug....

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternickolina

The first one looks like Anakin as he is being de-helmeted right before he dies.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

The squashed Vader looks like the Legion of Doom's headquarters from the old Challenge of the Superfriends cartoon.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Why does darth droopy have LACE around it?

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

There seems to be a dearth of Vader cakes that look right. (Yeah, I know that's said something like "durth", but work with me, here. ;) )

I find the black of cakes... disturbing.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

I think smashed Darth is really a Tie Fighter pilot in disguise. They are more smashed looking than Darth. (Yes, I know waaaaaaaaay more about Star Wars than I should.)

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I'm truly amazed there are no comments about the sub-theme of Darth Ruffles!
Hmmm... perhaps this could be a new Comic Con costume... Darthina Vader, Ruffled Goth Queen!!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJDiane

Okay, so the taken for granite comment made me choke on my laughter. I do exit interviews for graduating seniors; they submit a portfolio of work done and a final paper. One young lady used "taken for granite" not once, not twice, but three times in that final paper. I couldn't think of a polite way to correct her. Sadly, she was also in the top 20% of her class.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

"No, I am your Falker Satherhood."

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Darth Droopy looks a lot like Brak to me.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret Thatcher

I have eaten black frosting before. It came out more of a really strange green color than purple. But, yeah, I know what you mean.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanus

I want one of those pins!!!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Obviously, the force that is with that fifth cake is GRAVITY. *squish*

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternessun

OMG I need some My Little Pony riding Darth Vader pins. Those are the best.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVicky@Greenpees

OMG! I need those pins. Actually, I just need one and a few hundred cards to hand out on where to get them. These would be a huge hit at Black Hat and DefCon next year!

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Are you sure "Darth Droopy" isn't just a walrus in black hoodie? I wouldn't have known it was Darth if you hadn't told me.

August 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLora

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