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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Darth Vader Gets Wrecked

A few days ago, the new trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story came out and people are speculating that Darth Vader may be in it. (Woohoo!) So of course I have to honor the occasion the best way I know how: mercilessly mocking Darth Vader cakes.

 This one, for example, looks like a codfish. 

Granted, I don't actually know what a codfish looks like, but I imagine it must be kind of silly and wet-looking, which makes them practically twins.


And this one fits "scruffy-looking nerf herder" to a T:

Wait - I just realized there's no "t" in "scruffy-looking nerf herder."

Ok, it fits it to a "scruffy-looking"


When I was a kid I found this nifty stone-texture spray paint at Home Depot, and proceeded to paint everything I could get my hands on, including my room's wall switches, door handles, and lamps. My parents were lucky people, y'all. Anyway, apparently this baker had the same fascination:

But at least this one is icing. So you really can't take it for granite.



Speaking of stone, I'm not sure what happened to this Darth:

...but it looks like he's having an avalanche.


And here's the one they found flattened under the rubble:



This is technically the best Darth of the bunch, and that's really saying something:

Something about sweat, and tears, and purple poo.

(Oh, you've never eaten a bunch of black fondant before? Then never mind.)


I saved my favorite for last, of course.

("I've got a bad feeling about this...")


Darth Droopy!

"Heavy bweathing."

You know what? That makes me sad.


Oh, and if you haven't seen the trailer yet, you can check it out here.

So. Excited.




Hey Heather S.,  Arielle C., Luci, Brenda J., Clare, Leah S., & Julie Anne D., who's your daddy?


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Reader Comments (45)

All that. Black. Fondant. *shudder*

At least I know what I'll be lining up for in December. Wonder if I can get a whole theater to myself again like I did with TFA.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

"No, I am your cake!"

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Errrroghhhhh roggggh grahhhghhh - Chewbacca

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

While these are all awful and entertaining the blackish-bluish-purple-greeniness of every smudge, smear, drip and drool created by them REALLY makes me shudder. Ewww.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

The first cake looks very much like a Sleestak from Land of the Lost.
Go look. Amirite?

And the flattened one looks very much like Yoda might be hiding under that helmet.

And whyyyyy do bakers make cakes look sweaty? Because it's just so appetizing .

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBarbB

Geez, some of those look like Vader's crumpled helmet in The Force Awakens. But a little less crumply. And less appetizing.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

You're right. That second last one is actually not too bad.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

#5 (with the inscription "May the Force be with us") looks like Darth Yoda to me.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The first one looks like Chewbacca covered in tar.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Darth Bluepoo. Just sayin'.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The last Darth head really DOES look like granite! NICE job!'s not carved in stone that it's actually edible. ... =^-.-^=

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@SuBee... "urghhhh, braagh bragh, urghhhh" Chewie laughing :)

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

I can't remember what the real Darth Vader looks like now!

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDee, just Dee

The second cake looks like a Dr. Who Cyberman in an habit.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterL. Fro

Is #4 wearing striped trousers and suspenders?

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

Second one looks like Darth Vader and C3PO had a baby.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAB

OK, so if Darth Valder and the Creature from the Black Lagoon's sister had a baby, THAT would be the first cake, kind of a Darth Creature? Vader From the Black Lagoon?

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRanneyLou

Huh. Cthulu Vader.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterValasca

That 3rd cake. You know those pictures on FB that if you tilt your phone just right you can see the hidden picture.....yeah that cake me thinks of those. Tilt your head, screen, whatever, see the picture. Do it. Seriously. Do it!

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJ'NaeNae

The first one looks like Vader had a love child with an ewok. And yes I agree that last one looks like Vader mated with Droopy Dog; although since they're both males I'm not sure how they produced an offspring. So many questions.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoeMama

i just kept staring at the second one. the texture looks like fruit roll-ups.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteret

That first one? That's actually a little-known twist from an alternate reality in which Darth Vader is a Selkath.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKay S

Your parents were lucky. I have an artist friend who woke up early one morning and painted her mom's kitchen with Calamine Lotion! May the Forth Be Wif Ewe!

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue W

Here's a Star Wars question. (I figured those commenting here were just geek enough to answer). My boys are about old enough to start watching the series. However, I have only seen the original trilogy. So, when we start watching them, which order do we go in? Start with prequels? The original trilogy? I know this isn't your typical Cake Wrecks comment, but I have really been wondering lately.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

#5 -- how many pounds of force

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

2nd pic - looks like a Darth Nun
3rd pic - Medieval knight in chainmail
4th pic - Would be Darth as a character on Sesame Street

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

#3 (The "granite" Darth Vader) reminds me of the back of the original Star Wars sound track album in the late 70s. I grew up looking at that album and as soon as I saw cake #3 I thought of it.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

The first Darth reminds me of the Creature from the Black Lagoon for some reason!

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOcracoke Dreamer

Thanks for the good laugh. I'll definitely be looking back at this one.

Re Carol, there's no complete agreement on that. I watched in 1-6 order but some prefer 3-6 and then 1-4. or what's called machete order, but I forgot what that order is.

Re Rogue One, forget Disney's "canon" and stick with the EU. That will always be the real canon and Disney should have left it ALONE.. If you want to know about the Death Star plans, read the Rogue Squadron books. #GiveUsLegends #EUIsRealCanon

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMel M

Most Sundays, I look at the Sweets and respond, "Wow, those are CAKES?!" Today, I thought, "Wow. THOSE are cakes?!"

Inflection matters. So does artistic ability (taste, spelling, ...).

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

Carol, I'd watch the original trilogy in order and then stop. But I did not care for the characters and changes to the original story in the prequels. I'm one of those who prefers to pretend they don't exist. The special effects were impressive, but the rest did nothing for me. You and your boys may like them, so YMMV.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

@Carol, look up the Machete Order for viewing. (There was a long, but informative article about it.) My kids are just starting to get interested in Star Wars and that's how they'll be watching them. So far they've only watched the original, but they love it.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

To Carol: originals first. However, the best version of the watch-through I've heard of is 4, 5, 2, 3, 6. Which sounds like it shouldn't make sense, but it really works - because you have the shock reveal at the end of five, then you get two and three as like an extended flashback (I am your father - this is how/why) before you hit six. This sequence usually skips ep1 out, but if you put it in it goes before 2 and after 5.

I ah, don't usually comment on here, but I check everyday :) Cakewrecks is awesome, and I always love the geeky posts best. The Vader helmets here are hilarious XD

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHermitknut

Am I the only one here who's grossed out by black icing even when it's not badly done. I had a cake made with that stuff once and, well, lets say the after-effects were unpleasant.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

My daughter just said, "Well, if you consider the helmet was melted in the movie, they're good. I thought that's what they were going for."

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPatty Underwood

Perfectly timed post!

For extra fun, try going through this list and saying "Iam your father!" in the voice you can most imagine coming from each cake's head. It gets quite amusing. =-)

@Carol - With my son, I introduced him to the original trilogy (4, 5, 6), and only showed the prequels much later, when he actually asked about them. At that point, we watched them, he agreed the originals were better, and that was that. I think we've seen the prequels maybe twice, while I've lost track of our viewings of the originals. For what it's worth, my son says he's glad I did it in that order - he doesn't think he would have liked Star Wars nearly as much otherwise.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Ooh ooh! I know what happened to cake 4... FLEX SEAL!! :)

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterK Michelle

That first one looks like an angry vagina.

April 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDi

The flattened one really wants to be the Legion of Doom from the old Superfriends cartoons.

April 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Carol: Skip the prequels. And if you can find the original three in their original forms - without the later "enhancements" - go that route. Drag out the old VHS versions if you have to!

April 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

...take it for granite... *laughing fit* Why didnĀ“t I come up with that? Lol

April 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDuchess of Crumbs

To me the first and fourth cakes resemble the Ood from Dr. Who.

April 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

The squashed one actually was kind of cute.. from a certain point of view lol. Oh man these cakes..

April 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

That first one like the helmet from Sutton Hoo after an unfortunate encounter with a can of blackboard paint.

April 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMartin

Um...Avalanche Darth Vader looks more like Predator with a colostomy bag...

April 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterValentine

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