My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Killer Thrillers (HEEhee!)

[howling wind]
[howling dog]
[howling wind and dog together]
[plus a sprinkling of light rattling chains]

Darkness falls across the land...

Prince Humperdink: SKIP to the end!

Oh. Ok.



The fowl-est stench is in the air...



The FUNK of forty thousand years!

Give or take an eon.


And Grizzly ghouls from EVERY tomb...



Are closing seal your DOOM.



And though you fight to stay alive...

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm missin'myarm, and whereismyface?"


Your body starts to SHIVER. timbers!

(Or maybe that's Orlando Bloom. Hm? LADIES?)


For no MERE MORTAL can resist...

Baby Cthulhu!


... David Caruso riding a unicorn under a double rainbow!

The EVIL...

(Oh. Or that)








Is that supposed to be steak?


Thanks to Melinda M., Sarah C., Natasha, Nell H., John M., Rebecca J., Carrie, Robin L., Wolfie, and P. Humperdink for saving us from having to find a cake for "y'alls neighborhood."

« DOG ON IT | Main | Sunday Sweets: Creepy Treats! »

Reader Comments (54)

'Cause this is thriller!
Thriller night!
And no one's gonna save you
From the wreck about to strike

BTW, a STEAK? Seriously, that wasn't my first impression.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAdoAnnie

I happen to know that the last one is indeed NOT steak.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFearless Colon

Love the #3 Road Kill Special, #5, opening scene from C.S.I., and #9 UGH! Are they grilling what I think they're grilling? (Raided the medical waste dump … gaaaaawk!)

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

I think that last one is a uterus with a white IUD and three misplaced, swollen ovaries......which is actually more appetizing than if it was a steak.....

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike

How nice, the decorator included Tums with the "dragon?" cake! I do appreciate the "what kind of crap do I have around here that will almost kinda look like scaley skin" approach to embossing fondant.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

Wow, someone has a great imagination with a guy riding a unicorn under a double rainbow on a chocolate chip cookie and it looks like he's singing-what's not to love ?
The duck and alligator are pretty good .
But when I got to the last one, I was thinking "uterus on a cake?" Then I read your comment and realized that made much more sense...but not really steak and mushrooms on a cake? Hey, it takes all kinds.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

(Sing-songy voice) "You-ou forgot to say replay-ay!"

And I still have no idea why that lamb has a flag stuck in its back nor what those reddish streaks in its fleece are. Nor why in the world I would want to eat it.

[Editor's note- Yeah, Jen's feeling pretty crummy today. I think I gave her my cold. I did tag it "Replay" so that counts, right? -john (thoJ)]

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

So I had to start my day by making calls to a client whose bill is 120 days past due. Not so good. But then I cam to Cake Wrecks, which started off with a Princess Bride reference, and now all is well.

I would take that little dragon in Cake no 2 home and keep him forever. He's cute!

Cake no. 4: I know Christians hear a lot about "the blood of the Lamb", especially at Easter. But we don't talk about the blood ON the lamb. Yikes.

Cake no: 5: John Travolta with fourth-degree burns on his face. And a mitten? WTF? (I thought it was supposed to be Elvis until I saw the "disco" notes.)

And on that last cake, I saw what Mike saw: A uterus with a massively large IUD. Ouch.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

whew! the comments loaded-- I was just about to post this:

too early to rise,
no parody nor haiku
easing horror yet

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDBC

Really that "lamb" is the scariest of them all and will probably visit me in my nightmares. Thanks a lot!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

Bleeding from the eyes,
Lamb will frolic on your grave
Cuz America!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"It's a baby?"

'Nuff said.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

All I can say to these cakes is WTF?!?!?!?!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Undead cakes are here
Bakers make us tricks not treats
We can only cringe
Humming a Michael J tune
Dancing doin’ the cake walk

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTanka

For your viewing pleasure, a little peek in my brain as I'm reading CW this morning...

That duck has creepy eyes! Otherwise, it's not the worst duck I've seen here. Maybe Jen is going to take it easy on us today.
**scrolling down**
Aww.. look at that cute little guy. He has cheerios on his nose! I love Jen today!
AAAKKK!! What the heck is that??? Maybe it's umm... well... It's terrifying is what it is! Maybe I was wrong about Jen taking it easy on us.
Huh. It seems to be missing something... **tilting head and squinting** Oh yeah! That lamb needs a cigarette!
What the hell happened to his face???
Ahhh... A little Orlando to make things all better. See? Jen really does like us!
Squeee!!! She likes us guys! She really likes us!
**scrolling** Umm... that's a really fat unicorn! Eh...could be worse. I'm still feelin' the love from Jen because it could have been so much...
HOLY HELL!!! What IS that??? **checking comments** Ok, it seems to be some kind of weirdo BBQ but instead of shrimp they're cooking uterus??? **running for the bathroom**
Whew! That was close!
Thanks for the love today Jen!
Thanks @AdoAnnie for wrapping it up nicely!

Obviously I need more coffee o.O

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Aww! I was thinking that the first one might be a Blue-footed Booby, but those (they're real birds!) have dark wings and tail, where that thing up there has a dark chest and head. But the blue feet and bill are close (!) so all in all, it's not a totally unreasonable quacksimile. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that they're not killers...but I wouldn't want one sneaking up on me, either. =^-.-^=

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Is it just me who sees little poo swirls next to the 'steak'?

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdolphin

Okay, seriously having trouble breathing here. You outdid yourself today :-)

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I lost it at the lamb and disco wrecks and now I don't want to find it ever again. :)

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

I kinda liked the dragon. It looked as though it was made from Play-Dough but it had a cute face.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Grilled intestines and poop nuggets. ew

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy C.

why are they "grilling" shit piles?

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterML

The dragon cake is kinda cute. That has to be the creepiest lamb I've ever seen. Seriously I think I'll have nightmares about it coming to eat me. I don't even want to know what that last cake is.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

It's steak with poo-taters. Oooh, these are great!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChazz Arcturus

Forget the steak...are the things next to it supposed to be hamburger patties? Or is it acceptable in some societies to grill poo??

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

That is NOT a steak. It's a uterus. With an IUD.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

#7 Baby Cthulhu is sooooooooo cute.

#9 "Shiitake" has one too many "i"s for the kind of 'shrooms those look like.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

Ewwww on that last cake is right! And at least the lamb isn't smoking a cigarette.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulse

Wow, a zombie lamb cake - with flag, no less.
The last one - well I too see a uterus, but I also see three spiral bratwurst, which are common in Austria.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

That last one looks like grilled filet of large intestine with grilled poo burger patties. YUCK!!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. P

That "steak" needs to go with the GYN anatomy lesson from the other day.( Wrecky Replay: Happy Bossy Day! October 16, 2013)

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrish RN

I thought the dragon was sort of cute - not great, but not a wreck like the rest of them!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

The Zombie Lambs and the Uterus Grill...


October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

john (thoJ)

Oh, poor Jen! Tell her to keep snuggled up in bed and drink lots of orange juice while eating lots of chocolate with it. I know that's not a common recommendation for sickies, but there really isn't much you can do for a cold and, besides being one of the classic pairings, chocolate and orange juice always made ME feel better.

As to the tagging, of course it counts! I just didn't see it with my getting-older eyes. My next pair of glasses are going to have to be bifocals. How humiliating.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Is that a BACCI in the silver foil?
Trick or treat!
(Keep the T-bone.)
Thank you Vincent.


October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah B.

I'm with you on the poo swirls Dolphin! I was vascillating between poo and sticky buns when I saw that pic. In fact, it wasn't until I read Sarah's comment, above, that I realized they were supposed to be mushrooms.

Hee, Jodee! Love it.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Hot, sizzlin' uterus right off the grill!

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

#4 down: I'd have thought someone else would've said it already...Or not. Okay, then: Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins. Does that ring a baaah, er... bell?

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I am soooo relieved that I am not the only one who sees a uterus with a big IUD in it. I thought maybe I have been scanning ultrasounds too many years.

Feel better, Jen! ((hugs))

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Steak? That's a STEAK? And what are the round swirly things supposed to be, burgers? Is this the cookout from the Hellmouth or something?

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterE. Anne

That is a total abomination of a Polish Easter lamb cake pan... someone should be shot for that one.

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I lost it at Prince Humperdink: SKIP to the end! Howled like a hyena. (wipes eyes)
Ahhh, good times.

Tip: when viewed through tear-filled eyes these cakes are...nah, can't lie. They stinky.

Hope you both feel better! ((hugs))

October 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Oh man lol. The Michael Jackson one for some reason gave me the giggles. And of course yesterday's sweets with the IT clown made me hide under the bed. I think the wreckerators are trying to kill me before Halloween lol.

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Cthulu Baby: cutest thing ever. And the question mark completely makes the cake. Every baby shower ever should have that cake.

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElise

The super-patriotic bloody sacrificial Paschal Lamb zombie. With Jordan Almonds and a Cream Egg. And just the other day, I was thinking I had seen it all.

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Dash

Feel better soon, Jen!

There is always my grandmother's favorite cold remedy, hot tea with honey and whiskey. Didn't cure anything, but after a few sips, who cares?

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAdoAnnie

It is Orlando Bloom, and you can just barely see the edge of the Johnny Depp figurine. Someone got me that cake a few years back (minus the ugly pink frosting), and I still have the figurines displayed. Judging by the icing it might be the same kind of cake, in which case, it is an ice cream cake. Ice cream cake with hot figurines is nearly never an un redeemable wreck.

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The dragon would be ADORABLE if it weren't for the gross, dirty-looking ground it is sitting on and the rather unappetizing gray frosting.

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

As for the double rainbows "What does it all mean?!?" *wail*

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Aww, if it weren't so dusty and moldy that dragon would be downright cute!

October 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>