My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

There's Your Sign

June is Do-It-Yourself Marketing Month, bakers, and you know what THAT means!

Yep: time to SAVE some MONEY!! Woot woot!

Don't have any actual cake for the window display? NO PROBLEM. Styrofoam works wonders - no frosting required!


Those crowds of customers will come stampeding in any minute!

Any minute.

Annnnnnny minute...


And for an arresting display inside your bakery, all you need is a mannequin head and a bag of laundry!

I have literally never wanted to purchase baked goods more.


 Speaking of which, a good quality product practically sells itself, so be sure to fill your shelves with all your top sellers:

Kids just want the toys anyway, right?

If they complain, just throw in a tube of icing!


Say, did you know you can save a bundle by typing up your bakery's signage yourself? It's true! And no one will ever know the difference!


(I hear this place is squeaky clean.)


I'm partial to the Sahara, myself. 

(And if you're wondering where the extra 'S' went ...

... There it is!)


Now, is it possible to make tiny mistakes when making your own signage? Sure. But I think you'll find that, in the long run, the benefits FAR outweigh the... er...



Never mind. You're on your own.

Thanks to April M., Denise, Sonya, Meg S., Diana S., Maggie C., Michelle, Nancy M., Brandy F., and Susan R. for the reminder that, sometimes, it pays to pay a real professional.

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Reader Comments (75)

Twinkle, twinkle, Bakery Stars
When did life got so bizarre?
Styro, laundry, plastics toys
Misspellings for girls and boys
Please get me a chocolate mouse
I'll be hiding in my house.

It looks like baking is the preferred job for people in the Witless Protection Program...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Desert vs Dessert lol. Makes me wonder about the iq of the average wreckerator O_o as for that last one, no words are needed D:

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Hmmmmm....a dessert storm might not be a bad thing

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

Once upon a time, Little Red Goldirella (LRG) went in search of a delicious cake. The first bakery she came to was all talk and no cake. (Really, a one hour wait for a cake made from scratch sounded like something her fairy godmother would make, and that stuff always turned out to be pumpkin in disguise.)
At the second bakery she met up with her granny.
"What big shoulders you have, Granny!"
"All the better to frost cakes with, my dear!"
Alas, there were no cakes here either.
LRG found toys, strange pies and caks, but still no cake! (She did find a mouse cake, but again she thought of her fairy godmother's concoctions and decided against it.)
LRG came across a bakery that promised cakes and other deserts. She tried their offerings, but as the sign hinted, the cake was too dry.
Finally, as she was about to give up, she encountered a travelling carnival with a Dessert Storm ride. Famished, she climbed aboard and the ride began. Gooey slices of rich, moist cake rained down on her as she flew through the air. A veritable blizzard of buttercream was her final reward.
Finally satisfied, LRG stepped off the ride ready to head home and find her elastic-waist pants.
(We end our story here, before she was approached by the guy calling himself Prince Charming with his 9 cent wares.)

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Does that last sign mean he wears a...?

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I prefer my rapes with seeds, myself.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Either that's a really good price for (g)rapes, or it's priced per piece of fruit, in which case, it's not so good. Is it possible that there was another sign with a large G and another 9 on it that was supposed to go in front of that sign? That would make sense all around.

But hey, who does sense any more these days?

I like Donna's thinking, but we need to design special umbrellas to catch the desserts in a dessert storm. And to protect us from the large amounts of chocolate poo frosting.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

On the first picture: help me out, people--I can't for the life of me tell what's next to the bride on that "wedding cake". It's not a groom, for sure, but WHAT is it? I've blown up the picture and all I get is a gardening trowel with frilly edges. For the flower enthusiast, perhaps?

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Mmmmm Dessert Storm.....


June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLo

"Cakes and Other Deserts." was a failed Broadway musical of the 1980's. It closed after one performance so this photo must have been taken during previews.
At first glance I thought "Serve Your Mom" said "Save Your Mom." It seemed to be some sort of ominous Mother's Day warning: "Don't let this happen to YOUR mom! Save her! SAVE HER!! I like my first glance more than their reality.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I saw a website for a home builder last week that touted their beautiful Tucson-style design. It took me a minute. I squinted. I googled. Maybe "Tucson style" is a thing and I had just never heard of it before. As best I can tell, it's not. But if you're interested in having a Tuscan-style home built by someone with poor attention to detail, I know who you can call.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

I am really curious as to how styrofoam baker is going to make a cake from scratch and have it available in one hour. Let's just be honest, that is impressive.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Bad window display notwithstanding, I would go to the first baker simply because they can SPELL! What a concept...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Yes. I definitely want the person who thinks "writing" is spelled with two "t"s to "writ" on my cake.

I suppose seedless rapes are for when the attacker doesn't actually want to risk impregnating the victim...?

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

I'm very encouraged that everything (cakes AND sign!) in the first picture is spelled right, and the lettering is passable, too.

That Mothers Day display is just too funny. Inventive!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I live in Tucson (often confused with Tuscan) and there is such a thing as Tucson style - lots of fake adobe and wood beams. Also called "Southwest style". So maybe the builder wasn't wrong. Also, we have lovely cakes at Beyond Bread. Yum!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersewbug

@SaraCVT - I think the bride is checking out her, let's just say bustle, in an oddly sized mirror.

My favorite is "Writting on Cakes." Really makes you want to spend that extra 2 bucks.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I thought the "cake" signs were the worst, EVAR.

... Then I scrolled down to the "rapes"....



... .. .....

... I got nuthin'...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma


June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

"Hey, Bob, check out this sign I found under the window."

  } 9

"What do you think it means?"
"Iunno. It's probably not important. Throw it away before somebody slips on it."

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

@SaraCVT: Mirror, I think, next to the bride on the not-cake.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

@SaraCVT - it looks to me like the bride is looking into an oval floor mirror.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Bravo, Zoomom!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTaffy Cake

Love this site! Never miss a day, but 1st comment.

To SaraCVT - I think on the 1st cake the bride is admiring her dress in a mirror on a stand with a fancy frame. There is a name for these, but I can't think of it.

Anyway -- just a bride on the cake??

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

@SaraCVT: "I can't for the life of me tell what's next to the bride on that "wedding cake".
Here's my best guess: I think that the bride..(squint) is MAYBE checking out ((squiinntt)) how her butt looks in a...mirror that...(((squuiiinnt!!))... is sort of propped up behind her.Gawd, weddings are a headache.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

#1 The mystery object appears to be a mirror. Though a garden trowel with frilly edges makes about as much sense as anything else in this display. This person may have to surrender their spelling award unless someone can identify the word after 'Been' on the right.

#2 Either 'Mom' is a linebacker in her spare time or she has a hang up about wire coat hangers. (See what I did there?)

#5 "U before g, except after n, unless you're talking about the Nuge." Who doesn't remember that rule?

#6 At first, I thought this said, "Writhing on cakes." But that usually costs more than $2.00. So I'm told.

#7 I'll have a slice of chocolate cake without so much mouse in it.

#9 I'm pretty sure there weren't any biplanes in Desert Storm, so this must be referring to the time the operator fell asleep and knocked the speed control over to 'max', causing the plane to take out the funnel cake stand.

#10 I wonder what people at the church across the street thought of this.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@SaraCVT: It's a mirror.

@Muria & Naomi: Teehee!

@zoomom: nicely done. haha.

RE: the toys in the bakery - let's not be too eager to call that wreckage. Perhaps some of these other cakes were displayed there. When the manager saw them, he had them immediately removed and replaced with something non-wrecky until the bakers could make some new displays.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@ Stoich91 : "9 CENT RAPE IS A CRIME!" Okay! OKAY!! How much SHOULD we charge, then, huh?

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

On that first display... been servpng? been seropng?

Still lmao on this place is squeaky clean!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Cakes and Other Deserts in "They'll get their just deserts if they choose that bakery."

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLouisa

There is a vegetable called "rape", which is a member of the cabbage family. Its seeds are the most useful part, and if you've ever bought canola oil, you're buying rapeseed oil. Perhaps seedless rapes just means the leafy bits of the rape plant?

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLawrence

@Craig ("I wonder what people at the church across the street thought of this.")
Hard to say! But I heard that the church saw its OWN reflection and said, "Darn! That window makes me look fat!"

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Sewbug: I considered that possibility but the photos of the property just didn't match up with the theory. :)

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

in best Greek accent "bundt??? OH! It's a CAK!"

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNiki M

I've never heard of a bakery charging for writing on cakes. Maybe writting on cakes takes more effort, therefore the $2.00 surcharge.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAriana

#7 - It's a Grind is actually pretty awesome in coffee and food terms. Spelling, apparently, not so much. (Though I'm reminded of an L.M. Montgomery book--I think it was Magic for Marigold--in which chocolate mice were apparently a somewhat standard confection at the time. If the cake had one of those on top, I'd definitely buy it.)

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlenxa

Does anyone's mom have the head of Snow White stuck on Hulk Hogan's body in a dress?

I guess a baby wouldn't notice the frosting shortage on their cak.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah B.

@Craig, I think the word after Been is serving, rather looks like "been serving the community for x years"

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Maybe they mean rapeseed without the seeds? It's used in Asian cuisine.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

@Craig... the word after "Been" is "serving." It appears to say "Been serving the community for -- years." From what I can tell, it is spelled correctly. Technically it's not grammatically correct, but its the kind of grammar that tends to be acceptable in a sign/promo format.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Ooooh, one of my photos made it in! I can get chocolate mouse cakes any time I want, right around the corner from my house. Thank you, It's a Grind coffee shop.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Seedless rapes? Must be using a condom.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmmiehawk

I want to make a riff on a certain Missouri ex-congressman and the 'seedless rapes', but I find that I just can't do it.

I mean, I know there's a legitimate joke in there somewhere, but I don't think I can tell it. Nope.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercal331

Dessert Storm! H*** yeah! Every armed conflict should be named after pastry. Wouldn't it be better if soldiers had Viennetta flashbacks? How about the continuing tensions between North and South Kolache? Imagine your grandpa telling stories about Whoopie Pie II and how his father fought in Whoopie Pie I!

Make lamington, not war, man!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I don't know ... merinuge pie sounds kind of intriguing ...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril Fool

A large standing mirror (but better looking than this ) is called a cheval mirror.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

That last one reminds me of a sign that I used to see when I was a kid, about 11 or 12. The local 'stop & shop' (it was really way before the days of 7-Eleven and so on) had a sign painted on the wall of the store. I asked my mom if I could go in and tell them it was wrong, but she wisely advised against it. In hindsight, she was really smart - I could have gotten killed for pointing out the mis-spelling in : "We except food stamps." I wonder if that sign is still there....

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie D

Dangit....I am on a mouse-free diet this week!

I will just writ it off...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

MATH problem for today:
IF the Fresh Baked 8" Merinuge Pies are 5.99, at the SAME TIME that the UNIT price is shown as being (and this is quoted) "$.## per lb.", then WHICH price is the better deal? Go on, figure it out...I'd really like to know. (I'd also like to know what the Hell a "Merinuge" is before I eat it. It sounds like a name you'd hear at the Westminster Dog Show.)

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Hey, I think styrofoam's better than mold! But I flinched when I saw the meringue sign. And the other ones. Too bad I can't swear.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

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